Moment, 1 Time, Never Again

Ichigo Ichie: One Moment, One Time, Never Again

I recently returned from two weeks in Japan—first in Nozawa Onsen, a small farming and ski village where the way of life is simple, deeply connected, and slow—before exploring the rich culture in Kyoto and Tokyo.

I had originally gone for the cherry blossoms. The adventure. The beauty of Japan in spring.

But serendipitously, a friend forwarded me a yoga and meditation retreat to weave into the journey—and then to top it off, the gift of having my mother join me made it all the more precious.

I began the trip with the intention of slowing down, cultivating stillness, savoring, but what I came back with was much deeper.

There’s a Japanese phrase that echoed through every part of my trip: Ichigo Ichie.

"One moment, one time. Never again."

 This is far more than a poetic sentiment. It’s a way of seeing the world—of honoring each moment as singular, sacred, and unrepeatable.

This moment, right now, will never happen again.

The Moment That Will Never Come Again

In Nozawa, we wandered cobblestone streets and soaked in the healing warmth of the hot springs, surrounded by snow-dusted rooftops and a silence that felt ancient.

One day, we visited the rare snow monkeys—who live and bathe in the onsens (natural healing hot springs). We stood watching them, wild and free, the snow embracing all of us around us.

 I looked over at my mother—this woman I’ve shared so much life with—and felt it.

 This moment.

This version of us.

The ease. The laughter. The unspoken knowing.

 It would never happen again.

And for a long time, I think I would’ve resisted that truth.

Not because it wasn’t beautiful—but because naming it felt like inviting in the ache of its passing.

As if acknowledging its impermanence might somehow shorten it.

 But I know now:

That fear doesn’t protect us.

It robs us.

It keeps us just far enough away from the moment that we don’t fully let it in.

 We think we’re avoiding pain, but what we’re really doing is missing life.

 So now, I let myself feel it all.

The wonder. The fleeting, breathtaking sacredness of now.

 Because that’s how we live it—fully, completely, and wholeheartedly.

The Cost of Constant Doing

And yet—there’s another way we miss.

Not out of malice.

But out of momentum.

We move at lightning speed—getting things done, making things happen, keeping up. We chase after the next win, the next email, the next item on the to-do list.

And while there is nothing wrong with striving, or achieving, or being ambitious...

When our identity becomes wrapped in output—

When our worth gets tied to how fast or how much we can do—

We quietly trade presence for productivity.

And in doing so, we lose the thread of ourselves.

We Forget How to Feel

In all that speed, we forget how to feel.

We override the signals.

We suppress the stirrings.

We shut down the parts of ourselves that need to rest, to grieve, to soften.

 We fear that slowing down will derail us—

That turning toward the emotion might flood us,

Or worse… stall our momentum.

 But what if it’s the very thing that brings us back?

 Because when we skip the processing, we clog the inner channels that allow life to flow.

 Beauty. Wonder. Insight. Joy.

 We fill our calendars—but hollow out our lives.

Reflection: What Are You Holding Onto?

Lately I’ve been asking myself:

✨ What am I doing because it once served me, but no longer does?

✨ What am I clinging to—out of fear, not truth?

✨ What parts of me are longing to be felt, held, honored… before they slip away unnoticed?

The Sacred Moment of “Is This It?”

I’ve worked with hundreds of leaders and entrepreneurs who are at the top of their game, yet quietly asking the same question:

“Is this it?”

That moment—of asking, of wondering—is sacred.

Because it’s the beginning of remembering. The moment we realize the life we’ve built may not reflect the life we want to live.

It’s not a dead end—it’s a doorway.

A doorway into self-inquiry.

Into deeper listening.

Into the tenderness of being human.

The Beginning of Returning

It’s the moment we get to bring fierce curiosity and compassion to ourselves.

To notice our pulls. Our cravings.

To honor the things that delight us, teach us, stir us.

But if we are moving too fast, we miss them.

We miss the signs. The whispers. The magic that beckons.

So today, I’m slowing down. Again.

And I’m inviting you to do the same.

Turn Inward

These aren’t just prompts. They’re invitations to return to yourself.

💡 What part of your life are you rushing past?

💡 What’s one moment today you could treat as sacred?

💡 If this exact moment would never come again—how would you meet it?

Let that be your anchor.

Let that be your reset.

Let that be the doorway back to presence.

A Space to Practice Presence—Together

This is why I created Calm & Connect.

A space to pause.

To reconnect.

To gently unhook from what no longer serves, and return to what’s real.

🌿 Calm & Connect. Sunday, May 18th.

And if you're a leader ready to bring this work into your organization—through keynotes, workshops, or weekly mindfulness sessions—this is the work I’ve done for over a decade.

 Helping high performers slow down enough to come alive again.

Helping organizations become more human.

 🔗 Join Calm & Connect

🔗 Explore 1:1 Coaching or Corporate Support

What needs to die—so you can fully live? 🌱

Recently, while co-facilitating an Entrepreneurs’ Organization Retreat in Mexico, my co-facilitator Jesús shared a practice that struck me deep in my core:

 "Every night, I choose to die… it’s not easy, but I let my ego, my known 'self' die, and I wake up each day, ready to be reborn."

 At first, I just listened.

Then, the weight of it settled in.

 What would it mean to let the parts of ourselves that no longer serve us die each night?

What would it look like to wake up lighter, freer, untethered to old fears and patterns…or even identities we work so hard to justify and defend?

I kept coming back to this:

So much of what keeps us from fully living isn’t what’s happening around us—it’s what we’re unwilling to release.

And when I did, something shifted:

✨ The fear loosened its grip—but it didn’t leave.
✨ Instead, it sharpened my awareness. Made every moment richer, brighter, more alive.
✨ It made me stop waiting for life to happen—and start choosing it, now.
✨ It made me ask: What am I still holding onto that’s keeping me from fully living?

And I don’t think I’m alone in this.

Most of us are gripping onto something—whether we realize it or not.

A belief. A fear. An identity we’ve outgrown.

Maybe for you, it’s…

💭 "I am someone who always struggles."
💭 "Who I am is not enough."
💭 "I can’t let this go—what if I lose everything?"

But what if you let that version of yourself die?

Not all at once. Not forcefully.
But gently, like an exhale. Like an old weight slipping off your shoulders.

What if, every night, you laid down your fears—so that every morning, you could wake up as something more?

There’s something fascinating about oyster farming in New Zealand.

Long lines are dropped into the ocean, and oysters—tiny, free, unanchored—attach themselves.

They grow there. They harden there.
And eventually, they are farmed and harvested.

But what they don’t realize is—they could let go.

They could release themselves into the open ocean, into movement, into life.
But they don’t.

And neither do we.

We grip onto what we know, even when it keeps us small, stuck, afraid.
We hold onto who we were, even when it keeps us from becoming who we could be.
We forget that we have the power to unhook—to step into something bigger, freer, more expansive.

So, I’ll ask you:

👉 Where are you holding on so tightly that it’s keeping you from fully living?

Scarcity: The Fear That’s Hard to Release

For me, scarcity is something I have had to unhook from again and again.

I grew up hearing: 

"We may have this today—but we may not be able to tomorrow."

It was meant to teach me gratitude.
Instead, it wired me for anxiety, control, and the fear of not having enough.

And I don’t think I’m alone in this.

Scarcity doesn’t just show up around money.

For some, it’s about Love. Stability. Security. Worth.

It’s the quiet belief that whispers:
"I must hold on. I must play it safe. I must grip tighter—because what if I lose everything?"

And yet, here’s what I know:

The more we hold on in fear, the more we lose in presence.

It’s like an app running in the background, draining energy we don’t even realize we’re spending. And unless we consciously shut it down, compassionately close it out—it keeps pulling us away from life.

What Needs to Die—So You Can Fully Live?

I’ll be honest: This is a daily practice.

I don’t do it perfectly. I get stuck, I forget, I grip too tightly.
But there’s a whisper in me that always nudges me back to presence.

And so today, I’m pausing.

To ask myself:

✨ What am I gripping too tightly?
✨ What am I afraid to release?
✨ What belief, pattern, or identity am I willing to let die—so I can fully live?

And I invite you to do the same.

A Space to Explore This Together

I believe in making space for these conversations.

For pausing.
For sitting with the unknown instead of avoiding it.
For letting ourselves ask the hard questions, so we don’t sleepwalk through life.

And that’s why I created Calm & Connect.

A space for stillness. For noticing.
For letting go of what doesn’t serve us—and choosing what does.

If this resonates, come sit with me.

🌿 Join us in Calm & Connect.

💡 Looking for deeper work?
Let’s explore 1:1 coaching or an upcoming retreat.

🔗 Click Here to Learn More & Join the Conversation

The Call to Live. Fully. Deeply. Now.

There’s something stirring in me.

A whisper. A pull. A call I can’t quite name yet—but I can feel it.

And maybe, just maybe, you feel it too.

Lately, I’ve found myself asking: What does it truly mean to live?
Not just exist. Not just get through. But live.

To feel awake, to feel present, to feel—fully, deeply, now.

Because I don’t want to sleepwalk through this life. 

I don’t want to wake up one day and realize I missed it.

And so, I’ve been sitting with these questions:

💭 Am I alive when I get caught up in the mayhem of my mind?
💭 Am I alive when I replay old worries, waiting for the perfect time to act?
💭 Am I alive when I hold onto certainty, avoiding the stretch that real growth requires?

Or…

💡Am I alive when I lean into discomfort—because discomfort is often the first step toward something bigger?

💡Am I alive when I choose presence over autopilot? When I pause, breathe, and truly take in the moment?

💡Am I alive when I say yes to something my heart longs for, even if I don’t yet know where it will lead?

I don’t have the final answers. But I do know this:

I want to live.

And I want that for you, too.

What If Today Was Your Last?

I recently came across a story that stopped me in my tracks.

"I woke up as my 90-year-old self in my 32-year-old body… and it was amazing. I took the walk I always postponed. When my mother called, I cried, because it had been years since I’d heard her voice. A voice I took for granted before it was too late."

I sat with that for a long time.

Because it made me wonder…

📌 Who in my life do I take for granted?
📌 What am I waiting to do, say, or feel?
📌 What would I regret if tomorrow never came?

And if that wasn’t enough—this thought landed even deeper:

If today were my last, would I have been fully here for it?

Not just in the big ways—but in the quiet, ordinary moments.

☕ The first sip of morning coffee.
🌅 The way the sky shifts colors before the world wakes up.
👂 The sound of laughter from someone I love.

So often, we wait for the “big things” to wake us up. The promotion. The love story. The life-changing trip. But maybe—the things that make life worth living are already right in front of us.

The only question is: Are we here for them?

A Space to Sit With It All

Lately, I’ve been feeling a pull to shed another layer. To sit in the discomfort of peeling back what isn’t real—so I can step more fully into what is.

And if I’m honest? That’s not always easy.

Most of us resist stillness.
We avoid the unknown.
We fill space so we don’t have to feel.

But what if the discomfort isn’t something to fear—but something to lean into?
What if, instead of turning away from the uncertainty, we turned toward it?
What if we gave ourselves space to listen? To really listen?

🌿 That’s why I created Calm & Connect.

A space to sit in the unknown together. To listen, not just to our thoughts, but to something deeper. To create space for clarity to emerge—not by force, but by presence.

It’s for those who are willing to get uncomfortable in the pursuit of something greater. 

For those who want to live—not later, but now.

If this resonates, come sit with me, with us, this Sunday, March 16th.

If you’ve been feeling the pull to something more, but don’t know what’s next—let’s explore it together.

An Invitation to Listen

✨ What helps you come alive?
✨ What is your soul asking for?
✨ Are you willing to listen?
✨ Are you courageous enough to heed its request?

If this message speaks to you, I see you.

🌿 Want to sit with these questions in community?
Join us in Calm & Connect.

💡Looking for deeper work?
Let’s explore 1:1 coaching or an upcoming retreat.

🔗 Click Here to connect or simply reply to this email

The Key to Growth Isn't Adding More…🔑

Have you ever felt like the very thing that once saved you is now holding you back? That’s where I found myself recently.

I sat down to reflect on two areas of my life where I deeply want transformation. My nature is to act—make plans, set goals, do something, anything. But I knew this time was different. The shift I was craving couldn’t come from doing more.

Because here’s what I keep learning: Growth doesn't start with adding more. It starts with releasing. 

As I reflected, I saw how much I was carrying—beliefs and stories that once felt like anchors, giving me stability in the storm. But now, they’ve become the raft I’ve outgrown. They served me when I needed them, but as I face the next chapter, I realize they’re holding me back from scaling the mountain ahead.

And let me tell you—letting go isn’t easy. That raft is familiar, comforting, even part of my identity. But the weight of it keeps me tethered to where I’ve been, instead of helping me climb toward what’s next.

✨ What’s Tethering You?

We all carry things—thoughts, habits, relationships, or roles that no longer fit. Sometimes, it’s fear of the unknown. Other times, it’s the comfort of what’s familiar, even if it’s no longer helping us grow.

But here’s the truth: to grow, we must create space.

This isn’t about discarding everything. It’s about discerning what’s worth carrying forward—and what’s time to release.

🌿 What beliefs, habits, or roles no longer serve you?
🌱 What would it feel like to let them go and create space for the life you’re craving?

For me, letting go has been about trusting that what’s ahead is worth the discomfort of releasing what no longer serves. It’s terrifying, yes. But it’s also freeing. It’s about replacing fear with curiosity, and control with trust.

This year, I’m stepping into what feels like uncharted territory. And I’d love to walk this path with you.

Letting Go Is Where It Begins
If you’re ready to reflect and release, join me this weekend:

🌟 Calm & Connect: This Saturday, we’ll explore these very ideas—how to create space and step forward with clarity. Join us at 10 AM CT. Sign up here.

🌿 Unbound Retreat: On Sunday, January 26th, I’m co-hosting a transformative afternoon in Nashville to help you release what’s weighing you down and create space for renewal. Acupuncture, coaching, and mindfulness will guide us in this intimate, healing experience. [Reserve your spot here.]

Let’s release what no longer serves us, realign with what matters most, and rise together.

P.S. I’d love to hear—what are you releasing? What are you making space for? Reply to this email or join us Saturday to share.

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If this resonates deeply, I’d love to invite you to Unbound, an intimate retreat for reset and renewal on Sunday, January 26th, from 1-5 PM CST in Nashville.

This half-day retreat is about:
🌿 Releasing what no longer serves.
🌱 Planting seeds for what’s next.
✨ Gaining clarity and setting aligned intentions for the year ahead.

Through mindfulness, coaching, and acupuncture, we’ll create space for transformation—together.

👉 Just a few spots left! Reserve your seat here ♥️

This Week’s Calm & Connect

Additionally, for everyone, this Saturday, January 25th, at 10 am CT, we’ll gather again for Calm & Connect. These sessions are an opportunity to pause, reflect, and find clarity in a supportive space.

Together, we’ll explore the questions that help us move forward with intention—leaving behind what no longer serves and creating space for renewal.

👉 Sign up here to join us.

Equanimity and Peace: Anchors for a Life Fully Lived

This past weekend, I answered a call I could no longer ignore: my soul's quiet plea for stillness. I committed to a solo retreat—a few days to unplug fully so I could truly plug in. To reflect. To listen. To create meditations for The Reset Room.

While driving through the quiet, I hit play on a familiar playlist—the kind of music that seems to meet you exactly where you are. A song called Equanimity and Peace by Ram Das came on, and I found myself pressing repeat, over and over.

“What are we to do? What shall we do today? What shall we do with our lives?"
 He half jests, then asks "How do we live our lives with sufficient perspective, moment to moment,” he asks, “so that we can enter into the moments of life with equanimity and peace?”

Equanimity and peace. Two words that feel both comforting and at times elusive, especially in a world that pulls us in every direction. Yet, as I listened, I knew in my core: these aren't distant ideals. They are the anchors of a life truly lived.

The Four Pillars of an Actualized Life

Ram Das describes four essential pillars for a joy-filled, fully lived life:

When we're locked into our own perspectives, we perpetuate division—separation from others, and from ourselves. Truth invites us to soften those edges and truly see. This is Wisdom.

These aren't destinations—they're practices. Ways of being that call us back to ourselves, again and again.

The Season of Heightened Emotion

The holidays are often described as “the most wonderful time of the year.” But if we're honest, they can also be a time of heightened emotion—a swirl of connection and tension, joy and grief.

This past weekend, as I reflected, I realized how often we get swept up in the noise of this season. Maybe it's a family member's words that trigger something deep within us, the overwhelm of endless to-dos, or the invisible weight of unspoken expectations.

What if, instead of letting those moments pull us into frustration or self-doubt, we paused?

What if we gave ourselves the gift of equanimity—the ability to step back, breathe, and see clearly? What if we chose peace, not as avoidance but as a way of fully showing up, open to possibility?

A Gift (or three) to Support You

In the spirit of these practices, I want to share a gift: my free meditation on Insight Timer, Prioritize P.E.A.C.E.

This practice is designed to help you reset your nervous system, gain clarity, and connect with a sense of inner calm. Whether it's a challenging conversation with family or the swirl of holiday stress, this meditation can help you find your footing and respond from a place of intention.

Click here to access the meditation.

If you're craving community with which to pause and reconnect, join me this Sunday for our Calm & Connect session at 10am ET. Together, we'll ground ourselves, create space for equanimity, and enter this season with clarity.

A Rare Opportunity to Go Deeper

As I step into the final stages of my journey to becoming a Master Certified Coach (MCC), I'm offering a special opportunity: two deeply discounted coaching sessions for new clients at $275 per session (normally $675).

These sessions will be recorded (audio only!) for evaluation purposes as part of my MCC certification. They're a chance to explore what's possible, gain clarity, and create meaningful change in your life.

Here's what one client recently shared:

"That was a whole other realm. I've had years of therapy, but that not only met our goals, it broke down barriers I couldn't even imagine."

This offer is available through December, and space is limited. If this resonates, I'd love to connect.

Click here to book your session.

Wishing You Wisdom, Compassion, Equanimity, and Peace

This holiday season, may we find the courage to pause, the perspective to see clearly, the love to meet ourselves and others with compassion, and the steadiness to choose peace.

Let's step into each moment with an open heart, allowing truth to guide us toward a life fully lived.

Yours in love - and gratitude,

Rachel

"The Day Came..." Embrace Discomfort and Unlock True Growth

We've all been there—pushing forward, trying to reach the next level of success, only to find ourselves in the middle of extraordinary discomfort. So much so, that momentarily we begin to question ourselves: "Am I really cut out for this? Who do I think I am? Maybe I should just be satisfied with the status quo, or what I've already achieved."

It's that feeling that can stop us in our tracks. And if we listen to it, a small (or large) part of us starts to shrink.

But here's something important to remember: discomfort is not a roadblock. It's an invitation to grow. 

Growth isn't a one-time leap; it's an ongoing process. In those moments of discomfort, we often find ourselves at a crossroads: Will we numb ourselves with distractions—blame, anger, shopping, eating, or overworking? Or will we choose to lean in, even when it feels like too much? 

This is where transformation happens. When we embrace discomfort instead of avoiding it, we create space for real growth. We realize that what we've been avoiding is the very thing that will help us blossom.

The Power of Embracing Discomfort

Time and again, I see this with my clients. They reach incredible milestones—scaling their businesses, growing their teams, and expanding their lives. But at some point, they all hit a breaking point, where they are asked to stretch further, to grow beyond what they thought was possible.

It's in these moments—when we lean in, reflect, pause, and face the discomfort—that true growth happens. Anaïs Nin captures this beautifully: "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."

It's not about having all the answers—it's about trusting yourself to take that first step into the unknown and letting the rest unfold.

I've Been There Too: The Reset Room Journey

This process of growth doesn't just apply to personal development—it's at the core of every successful venture. And trust me, I've been there too with The Reset Room.

As some of you know, I've been on an incredible journey with my partners, bringing this extraordinary vision to life. Our goal is to support organizations and high-stress environments like conferences and corporate offices with a space designed to address stress, wellbeing, and leadership in a transformative way.

But, like any true innovation, there have been plenty of "oh crap!" moments—moments of extraordinary discomfort, where we hold the dichotomy of both clarity and uncertainty. The truth is, in this pilot phase, we don't have all the answers yet. But that's exactly where the real opportunity lies.

I've had my own moments of insecurity and doubt with this project, wondering, “Am I really ready for this?” And yet, every time I take a deep breath, step back, and truly listen, the answer is a resounding YES. And as I navigate through the discomfort, I'm reminded of the profound impact The Reset Room has already had: The feedback has been incredible, and the ripple effects are already starting to show—people are walking away more grounded, more focused, and more equipped to handle the challenges that lie ahead.

It's through sitting with both the discomfort and the unknown that we create something far bigger than ourselves. When we embrace the not-knowing, we get to play, to imagine infinite possibilities, and to co-create with others who are just as invested in the vision.

What Are You Ready to Embrace?

So, I ask you: What discomfort are you avoiding? What challenges are inviting you to lean in, trust yourself, and take that first step toward the growth that's waiting on the other side?

Remember: It's not just about weathering the storm—it's about blossoming because of it.

If you're feeling ready to embrace that next level of growth—for yourself, your team, or your organization—I'd love to support you on this journey. And if The Reset Room feels like the space your organization needs to create lasting transformation, let's talk about how we can bring it to life together.

Here's to the courage to grow, the strength to lean in, and the beauty of what's on the other side.

P.S. If this resonates, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Drop me a note or comment, and let’s continue the conversation. 

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Breaking the Cycle: How to Transform Success into True Fulfillment

Ever feel like you're running a race you didn't sign up for…

…Only to realize you're chasing your own shadow? 👥 

Me too. We spend so much time and energy trying to outrun our fears, our frustrations, those nagging voices in our heads…ultimately, simply, ourselves.

And the kicker? All that running, and we find out, we've only been on a treadmill, 🏃🏾‍♀️ never truly arriving at a new destination. There may be different people next to us, but deep down, it still feels the same.

In our last chat (and newsletter), we touched on the power of sitting with discomfort—particularly the discomfort of being with our emotions rather than trying to outrun them. Today, I want to take it a step further and explore how avoiding that discomfort actually limits us—keeping us from being the bold, innovative, and, quite frankly, amazing humans we're not only capable of being but meant to be—and already are, beneath the muck of our mental mess.

And all it really does is keep us disconnected from our true selves. It's like having a memory-draining app running in the background, constantly leaking our energy and keeping us in a battle with ourselves. 🔋

I've seen it time and time again—initially in my own life, and then ultimately in the lives of the incredible people and leaders I've had the privilege to work with. My work isn't just about helping people "tinker with their brains"—it's about guiding them to truly see themselves, to stop running, and to start embracing the amazing, unique, bright, beautiful beings they are.

Because when we stop battling ourselves and start living in alignment, everything changes.

Transforming Success into Fulfillment…

Have you ever hit that point where you've “made it” or reached that precious goal but still feel like something's missing? I've been there. Misery or apathy often tag along on that journey, sometimes in a seesaw with the ego's grip on success.

But here's the thing—when we learn to sit with ourselves, to really be present with all those messy, uncomfortable feelings, and acknowledge how we sometimes bury our heads in the sand or overlook what's really there, we unlock something incredible: choice. 

The choice to act from a place of alignment rather than fear, to connect deeply with who we really are, and to start living—really living.

 And that's when everything changes. 

 We stop just going through the motions and start connecting more authentically, building deeper relationships, and unleashing creativity and inspired leadership we didn't even know we had. It's uncomfortable at first, sure. But trust me, it's worth it.

Calm & Connect: A Space to Get Real (and Maybe Laugh a Little)

This Sunday, I'm inviting you to join our Calm & Connect session at 11am EST/8am PST. We'll dive into these ideas, probably share a few laughs, and explore practical steps you can take to start or deepen this journey. Whether you're just beginning or looking to take it up a notch, this session will have something for you—and maybe even a surprise or two.

Something Exciting (and a Little Mysterious) on the Horizon…

 I'm bursting at the seams with something new and exciting that's coming soon. It's an initiative I've been working on with some incredible co-collaborators, and it's all coming together at a major conference in September. I can't wait to share more with you—stay tuned!

 In the meantime, if you're ready to stop running and start living in alignment, let's connect. Whether it's for yourself or your organization, I'm here to help you lead with clarity, heart, and maybe even a bit of irreverence. For some immediate zen, check out my Insight Timer page—more meditations are on the way because, yes, my Calm & Connect Community has spoken!

The Game Changer for Leadership and Life: Navigating Anxiety and Cultivating Self-Love

"To expand our sphere of comfort, we must first sit in discomfort."

These words were steeped in my bones during a recent and soul-stirring silent retreat in Boone, NC with Gurudev, renowned for his global humanitarian efforts. For some, the idea of silence sounds miserable; for others, pure bliss. For me, while it would have been true pain years ago, it was a huge gift that I gave to myself.

During the retreat, while we couldn't speak, we could submit questions on paper to Gurudev, hoping for answers. The number of questions asking, “How do I love myself?” or “How do I rid myself of my anxiety?” was pervasive.

Here's the thing: these questions are not just personal issues. How we feel about ourselves influences every action and interaction. I've seen this impact firsthand—whether through my own experiences or through the stories shared by those I have the privilege to work with. Anxiety and self-doubt can be incredibly limiting, affecting our clarity, decision-making, and overall well-being.

Transforming Anxiety, Building Self-Love & Changing our World  

We live in a polarized world where fear and inadequacy often drive our actions and interactions. It's important to understand that when we, even unconsciously, live with these feelings, they directly impact our brain chemistry, reducing our ability to listen, engage, and collaborate. To change this, we need to start with ourselves. 

By doing our personal work, and addressing the issues of anxiety and self love, we begin to repair the fabric that's been torn apart—within our relationships, at work, and at scale. We can lay down our defenses, listen more openly, and work together to build bridges and innovative solutions never before imagined.

A friend responded to a recent post I shared about all the questions asked to Gurudev with the following:

"Thank you, I really needed that today.  Your post really resonates with the work I've been trying to do lately. And I do think that it hits on the hardest question: how do we truly love ourselves?"

He further acknowledged that some of the things we tend to do to allegedly build ourselves up are actually to our detriment. Here's what I shared with him:

It's a practice that requires courage. It involves sitting and looking at what pulls us away—what internal dialogue and limiting beliefs are impeding access. How do we listen with both compassion and detachment? Because it's our attachment to those words that gives them their power. With that listening of compassion, detachment, and ultimately discernment, we can start to change the dialogue and the narrative.

Addressing anxiety and self-love involves building a new relationship with the voices inside our heads—the ones that fuel our aggression or amplify our anxiety. Mindfulness and compassion are not just abstract concepts; they are skills that can be developed.

It's also critical to note that self-love is not a destination but a continuous practice. It demands that we confront our internal dialogues, challenge limiting beliefs, and rewrite the narratives that no longer serve us.

So, what are you doing as an organization or leader to support yourself—and your people?

In my bi-weekly Calm and Connect sessions (open to everyone and happening THIS SUNDAY), we explore practical ways to develop these skills. There is a way to begin, and it starts with small, intentional steps.

If you're seeking support in this journey, whether for yourself or your organization, reach out. Let's connect and explore how I can help you lead with clarity and heart. 

P.S. Join us for the next Calm & Connect session, this Sunday, July 28th to strengthen the muscle of mindfulness and dive into essential reflection alongside others. 

Embracing Change and Living in the Moment: My Journey to Nashville

LOVE, LOSS, AND NEW BEGINNINGS

Good morning!

It's been a while, and I've missed connecting with you. We have a lot to catch up on. Since we last connected, I embarked on quite a journey: returning from my six-month semi-sabbatical in Victoria, BC—a place I hold dear—spending a brief moment in Colorado with family, friends, and colleagues, and finally making a permanent move to Nashville, TN.

On May 6th, 2024, my entire storage unit, locked away since 2021, arrived from Texas. On May 7th, my heart ached as I said goodbye to one of the most precious beings in my life: my 16-year-old Maltese, Cooper.🐾

It felt as though he was saying, “Mom, I got you home. Now it's my time to rest.” 

Over the years, doctors warned me to prepare for this moment. But Cooper had an incredible spirit and seemed to live on nine lives. Each moment we shared, particularly towards the end, reminded me of a profound truth: we never know how long we have with the ones we love.

This realization can either paralyze us with fear and anxiety or be a precious gift—an opportunity to embrace each moment with love, gratitude, and presence.

In our Western culture, we often avoid discussing aging, death, and dying. We fear it and swipe left when it comes up. However, in cultures like Mexico, where age and death are embraced, every moment is lived with greater vitality and appreciation. By accepting the inevitable, it no longer lingers in the shadows but fiercely reminds us that every moment is unique and precious.

Living in Gratitude + Embracing New Beginnings🙏🏼

Reflecting on these experiences, I realize the preciousness of time and the importance of living in the present. We often get caught up in the hustle, forgetting to savor the beauty of each moment. But life, in all its imperfections, offers countless opportunities for gratitude and growth.

 And as I settle into Nashville, I'm excited about the new friendships and opportunities this city will bring. If you know anyone in Nashville who might be interested in connecting—whether for friendship or professional collaborations—I'd love an introduction - so please do not hesitate to reply to this email!!

Exciting Work Ahead🎉

On the professional front, there's a lot happening. At the end of the month, I'll be running two Unleash Mindful Leadership sessions for a global investment bank, an executive presence + public speaking event for a tech company, and several events focusing on how to effectively navigate stress—essential with the upcoming elections—and how to shift from frustration and fear to courage and innovation.

If your organization could benefit from our support and expertise, I'd love to explore how we can collaborate. Now is the perfect time to start the conversation, as we'll soon be stepping into the busy fall and election season. Let's work together to create resilient, mindful, and empowered teams.

An Invitation to Reflect and Connect

Today, I invite you to reflect on your relationship with time and change. Where might you be holding back in fear? How can you embrace the present moment with more gratitude and love?

Thank you for being part of this journey with me. Let's continue to embrace change, nurture our endeavors, and trust in the unfolding beauty of life

P.S. If you're navigating your own sea of change, remember: it's not just about weathering the storm. It's about developing the skills and learning to sail in new directions. If you're ready to embrace and cultivate change, reach out—I'd love to hear from you!

P.P.S. Don't forget to join us for Calm & Connect this Sunday, June 16th at 8 AM PST / 11 AM EST. It's a wonderful way to strengthen the muscle of mindfulness and dive into essential reflection alongside others.

Unlock Your Brain's 🧠 True Potential: Embrace Change Like Never Before

Earlier this month we started to explore the concept - and waves - of change; we also began to address how to move with the rhythm rather than fight the tide.

Pertinent to this is understanding the brain's proclivity - or simply reflexive response - when it comes to change. While I shared a few tidbits, I'd like to dig deeper as it is my experience that when we understand “why” things happen (and understand it's simply habitual - but a habit we can break), it empowers us to leverage the levers at our disposal.

Because change - is the one inevitable - the one thing that no matter how hard we try to avoid - it's life's one guarantee.

The Brain: A Prediction Machine + Inner Cartographer

🔑 Recognizing this simple, millennia old affect is the first key to etching a new path.

The Paradox of Planning

While planning is invaluable, becoming too enmeshed in our blueprints can detach us from the richness of the present moment. We risk living more in the hypotheticals of our plans rather than in the vibrant, sometimes messy reality of life's unfolding.

Being present, while uncomfortable, can actually free us from the angst, and enable us to see - and grab hold of - the otherwise unforeseen opportunities that present themselves.

The true art lies in balancing our gaze -forward into the future (rather than simply re-creating the past)  while rooting firmly in the now.

Mindfulness: The Keys to Expansive Living

An Invitation to Practice 🙏🏼

This month, I invite you into a simple and profound  mindful practice: whenever you start planning too far ahead, gently guide your focus back to the now. Observe your environment, the air you breathe, and the thoughts passing through your mind. Bonus? Commit to daily inspiration… Whether it's simply googling “inspiring quotes” or reaching for a visual that lifts your heart, I promise it's impact will create fertile ground for etching new pathways and possibilities in your mind.

As we continue navigating life's changes, let's commit to living expansively, beyond the limits of our past experiences. Embrace the beauty and unpredictability of life's unfolding journey.

P.S. Embracing change isn't just about adjusting to new external circumstances; it's also an inward journey of growth and discovery. I'm here with you, every step of the way.

P.P.S - Join us for this weekend's Calm & Connect on Sunday, April 28th at 8 AM PST / 11 AM EST. It's a perfect opportunity to practice mindfulness, embrace invaluable reflection, and connect with others who are on similar paths.

Spring Into Change: Unfolding New Beginnings 🌷

After a number of rather literal dark and dreary days, the sun is shining and the earth is beginning to blossom. It's a reminder of a fundamental truth often resisted: everything changes, always. This season, as we witness the world around us spring into life, it's a vivid, beautiful showcase of change's potential. Yet, this transformation doesn't happen overnight. The silent, unseen work of the preceding months lays the groundwork for the bright burst of life we celebrate in spring. This is a powerful metaphor for our own lives and endeavors.

In recent months, I've navigated through an intense landscape of change. And yet, each challenge has underscored the undeniable truth of transformation's constant presence in our lives. It has continued to remind me, fiercely and lovingly, the importance of embracing change, not as an adversary but as an inevitable partner in growth.

Resistance vs. Embrace

It's normal, human really, to resist, or planning meticulously in the face of change, trying to control what we can and clinging to the comfort of the known.  But resistance only postpones the inevitable, often amplifying the discomfort we were trying to avoid.

Spring shows us the beauty of release and the embrace of the new. Just as the earth doesn't rush its awakening, we too must learn the art of patient unfolding. The months of quiet, of seemingly nothing happening, are as crucial as the moment of bloom. They are the foundation of all that is to come.

The Complexity of Change 

Our brains are quite literally prediction machines - it's there predisposition to predict. ALWAYS. What's more, our brains seek to be right. Thus their predictions, based on past experiences, play a huge role in how we navigate the future.

While these predictions intend to guide us, they can inadvertently narrow our horizons, as we are bound by our limited experience.

Cultivation and Trust

The journey of change requires us to be cultivators—patient, trusting, vigilant. We plant seeds not knowing exactly how or when they will sprout.

This process isn't just about nurturing the projects and transformations we initiate; it's about nurturing our resilience, our faith in the unseen process of becoming.

An Invitation to Trust the Process

Today, I invite you to reflect on your relationship with change. Where might you be resisting? Where might impatience be clouding your vision? Embrace the changes unfolding in your life, nurture them with intention and care, and most importantly, trust in their eventual blossoming. Even when it's uncomfortable, even when the end result is unclear, there's a profound strength in surrendering to the process.

Change, in its essence, is not just about the new life that springs forth. It's about our growth, our evolution as we navigate the journey. Like the gardener who trusts in the seeds they've sown, we too must believe in the potential of what we're cultivating, even when it's yet to be seen.

In embracing change, nurturing our endeavors, and trusting in the process, we open ourselves to the vast possibilities of what can emerge. And just like spring, what arises might just surpass our wildest dreams.

Let's embrace this journey together, trusting in the beautiful unfoldment of our shared human experience.

Warmly,

Rachel Tenenbaum

P.S. I've felt the tremors of change deeply and vividly in recent times. If you're navigating your sea of change, remember: it's not just about weathering the storm. It's about developing the skills and learning to sail in new directions. If you are wanting support - and ready to embrace and cultivate change, reach out and let's connect - I would love to hear from you!

P.P.S - In our next conversation, we'll dive a bit deeper into the neuroscience of change ;).

P.P.S.S. Don't forget to join us for Calm & Connect - a beautiful 2x monthly opportunity to connect live, meditate and intentionally reflect on life with - and learn from - other incredible individuals. 

How to Silence the Relentless Cacophony of Voices 📣

Have you ever noticed a cacophony of voices inside your head? Criticizing, doubting, and often holding you back from your true potential?

If your answer is yes, you're not alone. And while these internal dialogues can feel relentless, they also hold a key to profound self-discovery and freedom.

Inspired by the wisdom of 7th Century Zen master Seng-tsan, and shared by Tara Brach, I've been contemplating the idea that freedom is being "without anxiety about imperfection."

Consider that for a moment: Freedom is “without anxiety about imperfection.”

The voices that run rampant usually stake their energy on their perception of your imperfection, driven by a sometimes quiet-- other times megaphone📣-in-your-ear- fear of inadequacy or unworthiness.

Freedom from that anxiety of imperfection is not about silencing our inner critics, but rather learning to coexist with, and even at times leveraging them in a way that diminishes their control over us.

Designing a new Dynamic 🖊

Imagine for a moment the possibility of a new relationship with these voices where you listen to them with understanding and gentle curiosity rather than resistance. 

To be honest, for me at times, it has felt like I am drowning in their outpour.

For some - or rather many - of us, the tendency can be to numb, distract and disconnect; anything to guard against hearing the soft hum of these incessant voices. But when we can learn to lean in, to listen in a radical way, with compassion for ourselves and curiosity, we weaken their power and begin to find a form of liberation.

In recent weeks I have been playing with a concept that has been transformative. It's built on everything I've used and taught to date. For the sake of your eyes👀, and time 🕗, I am going to start with the foundations this strategy relies upon, and then I will share more about this process both in Sunday's Calm and Connect AND our next newsletter.

So let's start with the foundations, because without this, you cannot leverage the rest of the strategy. 

Foundation I 🌱

Pausing. While pausing may seem overly simplistic, when we try to ignore, fight or even “shut out,” the voices, they instead turn the faucets on full force, leaking constant contamination into the water of our mind.

The result? In addition to a low hum of suffocation,  we cannot see or perceive clearly. We become more reactive, tense and resistant to external stimuli (people, comments, interactions) because everything reinforces their narrative.

Pausing and simply acknowledging their presence is essential if we want to shut off the valve and start to decontaminate the water.

It also enables us to take a step back and see the voices for what they are: thoughts driven by fear, wanting us to be happy, but wildly off base in how to make that happen, manufacturing misery in the process. 

As we approach our next Calm and Connect event, I highly encourage you to reflect on your own inner dialogue. How do these voices shape your reality?

How might your life change if you viewed them through a lens of compassion and curiosity?

And then start with those pauses.

I am excited to dig in further to Part II of this conversation with you, both later this month - and through rich conversation at our next Calm & Connect!

If you haven't already, sign up below!

The Alchemy of Self: Transforming How We See Ourselves, and Therefore, the World ✨

"We do not see the world as it is, we see the world as we are." - Anais Nin

In the quiet moments of reflection, have you ever pondered over the nature of your reality? Is it a rigid, unchangeable constant, or is it something more malleable, something that shifts with the tides of our perceptions?

For me, this profound insight by Anais Nin captures the essence of our journey. It's not just about changing the scenery around us but transforming the lens through which we view life.

From Personal Experience: At some point, we all yearn for change—be it in a fleeting moment or during life's persistent trials. I have lived through thousands of such moments, both as a child and well into my adulthood, where the only voice I heard was the echo of a desire for something – or everything – to be different, myself included.

I lived in fear. Fear that I wasn’t good enough, fear that things would change – fearful that things wouldn’t change. Fear permeated my being all the way down to my bones, but it was such a constant companion, I hardly realized its influence and couldn’t imagine life otherwise.

Until it hit me, like a lightning bolt, painful, illuminating and freeing all at once, liberating me into a whole new lease on life.

The quest for happiness, contentment, or success was not about altering my essence but about embracing a new state of mind.

Iterating Out: Decades later, I have watched innumerable clients who arrive at my doorstep with the desire to change their worlds (their jobs, partners, teams, colleagues), shift their relationship with themselves, how they see and treat themselves, and ultimately, generate tectonic shifts in their worlds.

The ever-agitated CEO moved from a world against him to a world which flocked to him.

The fear-riddled entrepreneur moved from a world to be fearful of – to a world which is replete with incredible opportunities.

The inadequate manager riddled with imposter syndrome, watched as her ideas + processes became a global company’s “standard” for processes.  

To alter our outcomes, we must work with our minds; how we see ourselves. There is no other way around it.

The Shift: How do we initiate such a transformative shift?

It starts with self-compassion, recognizing and embracing ourselves wholly and completely. To commit, above all else, to treat ourselves with the kindness we would bestow upon others – those we hold most dear.

It takes courage: Courage to be willing to do things differently. Courage to be willing to look at – and then unravel the unconscious stories and beliefs we have nourished and fed over the years; for they have become the dirty filters through which we experience life.  

It takes patience and time. The journey of self-transformation and cultivating a loving perspective towards ourselves is not a destination but a continuous path of growth. It’s about carving a new road, not patching a pothole. It’s about sustainability and it’s about living life rather than running away from- or resisting – life.

Closing Thoughts: A journey I’ve dedicated myself to for over 15 years, it’s an onion, continuing to reveal layers of potential, opportunity and boundless love. But in staying committed I know, and have seen too many times to count, that by choosing to really LOVE ourselves, we can indeed change the way we look at things - and in changing our perspectives, we dramatically reshape the world.

And as a peaceful word MUST start within, so too must a joyful, loving world. It MUST begin within.

Join me in this conversation. Share your moments of transformation and how self-compassion has reshaped your view of the world.

And know that if you feel called to dig deeper and want a partner by your side, that’s exactly what I am here for. 🌱 Reach out, book a call, let's connect.

PS - Want more newsletters like this? Sign up or reach out and DM me to get on the list for our bi-monthly newsletter 

Labor Day Reflections

🍃 Unhook to Reconnect: The Labor Day Reflection 🍃

Sometimes, the most challenging journeys are the ones we take within ourselves.

A Personal Note from Me: I often find myself caught in the rapid currents of daily tasks, strategic planning, and the ceaseless flow of ideas. It's like being in an attic, occasionally peeking out, watching life whirl by. However, every time I've allowed myself to step back, to unplug and breathe, the change has been remarkable. Not only does my work surge forward with renewed clarity, but the moments, laughter, and bonds I experience in life become more vivid and meaningful.

Why Unhook? By taking a moment to detach, we grant ourselves the opportunity to observe our thoughts, reset our perspectives, and carve out space for strategic foresight. It prepares us mentally and emotionally to embrace the forthcoming months with intentional vigor.

The Challenge: I invite you to join me in this practice. Choose a day, set aside your to-do list, mute those notifications, and find a quiet corner. Reflect on your year so far and envision how you want the last quarter to unfold. By doing so, you're not just preparing to lead more effectively but to live with greater presence and ease.

Let's not just take a day off; let's commit taking time to tune in to ourselves.

Ready to dive deeper. Whether for 1:1 coaching or organizational work, reach out, let’s connect.

Why and How you Can Start Meditating, Now (Especially if you think you can’t!)

Image by Keegan Houser on Unsplash

Over the course of my time teaching Meditation and Mindfulness, I cannot count the number of times I have heard “it’s just not for me… I can’t quiet my mind enough to meditate,” or, “I can’t, I am bad at it.” Does that resonate?

I get it. I, too, was a culprit of an incessant mind. I prided myself in my NYC days for being called an Octopus, seemingly capable of attending to eight tasks at once. I, too, initially feared that in quieting my mind, I would lose that “powerful edge.” However, experience taught me that Meditation did not inhibit my ability to think quickly, but instead increased my ability to respond thoughtfully.

And the more I gleaned the benefits, over time I adapted a witty retort I once heard: “claiming your mind is too busy to meditate, is like saying you are too dirty to take a shower.”*

While true, it’s taken years and a more profound understanding to finally grasp: Meditation is NOT about clearing the mind. The mind wanders. It is what it does.

Meditation, instead, is about habituating the mind to a chosen point of focus, again, and again, and again. Whether the point of focus is your breath, your body, a guided meditation, the sounds around you, a tennis ball…(the list can go on), each time the mind wanders, and you return, you are rewiring your brain and building new neural muscles.

Research shows that with only 8-weeks, the practice of Mindfulness and Meditation rewires and builds areas of the brain related to memory, learning, and empathy and rewires areas related to stress.

As we develop the skill to habituate the mind back to an object of focus, we not only increase our ability to focus, but we also discover a new control over our mind. No longer do we feel like our mind has a life of its own we cannot regulate, especially when the fears or anxieties run rampant.

Ultimately, we access greater internal equanimity, greater peace of mind, and even a sharper mind. In truth, Meditation bolsters nearly every leadership development and personal development skill out there. Who doesn’t want that?

So then how do we meditate? Especially when the misconception is that Meditation is about clearing the mind?

One of the most effective approaches to Meditation is to see it as a 4-stage process, with the third and fourth stages being equally critical to stage one.

1. First, you are present: you are focused on the breath, your body, the guided Meditation: a specific, chosen object of focus.

2. Second, your mind wanders to what’s going on in the world, to your endless task list, an argument, something else you “should be” doing at that moment. The brain LOVES to be productive, so it will likely reach for anything that seems “more productive” at the moment, including deciding what you are having for your next meal.

3. Third, a light bulb illuminates in the recesses of your mind, and you realize, “I am no longer present.” Often, a little voice articulates, or rather harshly admonishes, “I am no longer “meditating!”’

Pausing here, this is PART of Meditation. This moment is one of the most potent, brilliant moments in the process. The moment that you have noticed your mind is elsewhere is HUGE: how often are you aware of where your mind is? I love the James Joyce astute quote, “Mr. Duffy lived a short distance from his body.” This brilliant, light bulb moment of awareness is PART of Meditation, and it enables the next critical stage.

4. In the fourth and final stage, you “unhook” from that thought, no matter how tempting or consuming, and consciously bring it back to your initial, intended point of focus.

Meditation is just as much being in the present moment, as it is noticing where your mind wandered to, and then “unhooking” from that thought.

Everyone cycles through these four stages, be it a novice meditator or the Dalai Lama. The Dalai Lama merely has more practice, notices the wandering more readily, and refocuses more rapidly.

Ultimately, the practice is like going to the gym. Some days will be a tougher “work out” others will feel stronger, and yet, every time you cycle through those four stages, it’s like picking up a weight. Each time, your mind gets stronger.

*Originally shared by Eoin Finn as “claiming you are too inflexible to do yoga is like saying you are too dirty to take a shower.”

** Originally written for and Published by Ellevate Network