You Can’t Stop the Waves–But You Can Remember What’s Beneath Them

There’s a quote I return to often–especially when life feels full, fast, or just plain hard:

“You can’t stop the waves. But you can learn to surf.” –Jon Kabat-Zinn

Lately, I’ve been adding a quiet postscript of my own: “And you can also remember the stillness beneath.”

Because here’s what I know–both in my life and in my work with leaders navigating pressure, change, and uncertainty:

Life will bring waves. Emotions will rise. Change will crash.

But there’s always a current of calm.

And we forget that at our own expense.

Sometimes, it’s not about finding the perfect still moment–but simply remembering it’s there.

Even in motion. Even in complexity. Even when it feels just out of reach.
Sometimes, it’s as simple as a single breath.

Stillness, I’ve learned, isn’t passive.

It’s not stagnation.

It’s presence. Discernment. Deep-rooted clarity.
It's the ability to pause in a world that rewards urgency.
And it's the capacity to remember yourself–and the values you want to lead with–before reacting to the noise.

It’s the part of us that doesn’t flinch at the swell–because it remembers:

This, too, is movement. And this, too, will pass.

In coaching sessions, leadership trainings, and meditations at Calm & Connect, I’ve seen this truth land again and again:

Sometimes, life and leadership are about surfing–knowing when to move, when to pivot, when to ride the momentum.

Other times, it’s about dropping beneath the surface–refusing to be pulled by urgency and anchoring into something quieter, wiser, more enduring.

The magic is–they’re not opposites.

The ability to surf well often comes from knowing the stillness.

And the ability to be still comes from having surfed enough to trust:

I can ride this, too.

Questions to Reflect On:

• When was the last time you let yourself truly be still? What did it reveal?

• What part of you wants to rush right now—and what might happen if you didn’t?

• Can you recognize when you’re paddling too hard—and give yourself permission to float?

In a world that prizes speed, complexity, and constant forward motion, this is leadership:

The courage to pause.

The ability to discern.

The wisdom to act–not from urgency, but from truth.

I created Calm & Connect for this kind of remembering.

And I weave it into every keynote, every retreat, every training room I step into.

Because no matter how ambitious the goal–none of us can lead clearly from a stormed-out nervous system.

So if you’re navigating waves of your own, here’s your reminder:

The storm isn’t all there is.

Stillness is always available.

And the more we return to it, the more clearly we lead.

🌿 Calm & Connect. Sunday, June 15th.

And if you're a leader ready to bring this work into your organization– keynotes, workshops, or weekly mindfulness sessions–this is the work I’ve done for over a decade.

Helping high performers slow down enough to come alive again.

Helping organizations become more human.

🔗 Join Calm & Connect

🔗 Explore 1:1 Coaching or Corporate Support

Why Silence Might Be the Most Powerful Tool You’re Not Using

In a world that never stops talking, silence can feel threatening.

But over the years I’ve learned—it’s where the real magic happens.

For years, I ran from it.

During moments of stillness, I reached for something—anything—to distract me.

Silence felt like failure.

Like stagnation.

Like something I couldn’t afford.

And if I’m being honest—it scared me.

I didn’t know what might rise up in the quiet.

What truths I might hear.

What I’d have to face if I really stopped.

So I ran. 

I spun. I did everything I could…

Until I crashed. 

It took years, but I finally realized:

Silence isn’t the absence of something.

It’s the presence of everything.

It’s where the whispers of our inner wisdom speak.

Where intuition nudges us gently toward what matters.

Where true insight—and peace—begin to take shape.

We’ve Forgotten How to Be With Ourselves

We’re overstimulated.

Overwhelmed.

Conditioned to fill every space.

So when things go quiet, it’s no wonder we panic.

But here’s what I’ve learned—

In my own life, and in my work with leaders:

Silence isn’t the enemy. It’s a teacher.

It gives us back our power.

It enables us space to navigate towards what's aligned—not numb.

And it opens the door to something we desperately crave: 

inner steadiness.

Why Silence Is a Leadership and Life Tool:

1. It Creates Space for Thoughtful Response 🌀
   When we pause, we make room for intention—rather than reaction.

2. It Filters the Noise 🔍
   Silence helps us hear what’s actually important. It clarifies. It distills.

3. It Allows for Deep Integration 🪞
   Sometimes, when I finish a keynote and the room is silent—I used to worry I lost them. Now I know – its when the message lands.
   When the reflection begins.

4. It Invites Innovation 💡
   In my sessions with execs, we pause. We breathe.
   And without fail—new questions emerge.
   Ones that shift everything.

5. It Deepens Self-Trust and Self-Love ❤️
   To sit with silence is to say: I’m safe with myself.
   And that changes everything.

In a world that glorifies doing—and profits off our constant noise—

silence becomes a radical act.

But it’s also a deeply restorative one.

Silence reconnects us to ourselves.

It allows us to witness the unconscious patterns and quiet narratives that shape our days—and quietly limit our lives.

It makes space for what’s been buried.

For truths we didn’t know we needed to hear.

And with practice, it becomes a source of clarity, compassion, and freedom.

Even this past weekend, I peeled back new layers.

Old patterns I didn’t realize were still running the show.

And in that noticing, something softened.

Something let go.

That’s the power of stillness.

Not because it’s easy—but because it’s honest.

If you want to practice this in community, come sit with me in Calm & Connect.

Together, we pause. We breathe. And we remember:

Stillness isn’t the absence of movement. It’s the birthplace of wisdom.

And if you're a leader ready to bring this work into your organization—through keynotes, workshops, or weekly mindfulness sessions—this is the work I’ve done for over a decade.

Helping high performers slow down enough to come alive again.

Helping organizations become more human.

🔗 Join Calm & Connect

🔗 Explore 1:1 Coaching or Corporate Support

---

P.S. A moment that reminded me why I do this work.

Three weeks ago, I had the honor of keynoting the Maine HR Conference—where we unpacked what mindfulness really is… and what it makes possible.
 

We explored how mindfulness isn’t about perfection.
It’s about pattern recognition.

About meeting discomfort with intention,
and leading from clarity—not chaos.
 

One leader came up to me after and said:
“For the first time, I actually get it.
I can take back the wheel.”
 

That moment meant everything.

Because when someone doesn’t just feel inspired—but empowered to shift how they lead, respond, and live—

That’s when I know I’ve done my job.

Rachel Tenenbaum speaks at the Maine HR Conference.

This wasn’t just a keynote.

It was a room full of extraordinary humans—doing hard things with full hearts,
asking better questions, and daring to do the inner work that leadership truly requires.

Moment, 1 Time, Never Again

Ichigo Ichie: One Moment, One Time, Never Again

I recently returned from two weeks in Japan—first in Nozawa Onsen, a small farming and ski village where the way of life is simple, deeply connected, and slow—before exploring the rich culture in Kyoto and Tokyo.

I had originally gone for the cherry blossoms. The adventure. The beauty of Japan in spring.

But serendipitously, a friend forwarded me a yoga and meditation retreat to weave into the journey—and then to top it off, the gift of having my mother join me made it all the more precious.

I began the trip with the intention of slowing down, cultivating stillness, savoring, but what I came back with was much deeper.

There’s a Japanese phrase that echoed through every part of my trip: Ichigo Ichie.

"One moment, one time. Never again."

 This is far more than a poetic sentiment. It’s a way of seeing the world—of honoring each moment as singular, sacred, and unrepeatable.

This moment, right now, will never happen again.

The Moment That Will Never Come Again

In Nozawa, we wandered cobblestone streets and soaked in the healing warmth of the hot springs, surrounded by snow-dusted rooftops and a silence that felt ancient.

One day, we visited the rare snow monkeys—who live and bathe in the onsens (natural healing hot springs). We stood watching them, wild and free, the snow embracing all of us around us.

 I looked over at my mother—this woman I’ve shared so much life with—and felt it.

 This moment.

This version of us.

The ease. The laughter. The unspoken knowing.

 It would never happen again.

And for a long time, I think I would’ve resisted that truth.

Not because it wasn’t beautiful—but because naming it felt like inviting in the ache of its passing.

As if acknowledging its impermanence might somehow shorten it.

 But I know now:

That fear doesn’t protect us.

It robs us.

It keeps us just far enough away from the moment that we don’t fully let it in.

 We think we’re avoiding pain, but what we’re really doing is missing life.

 So now, I let myself feel it all.

The wonder. The fleeting, breathtaking sacredness of now.

 Because that’s how we live it—fully, completely, and wholeheartedly.

The Cost of Constant Doing

And yet—there’s another way we miss.

Not out of malice.

But out of momentum.

We move at lightning speed—getting things done, making things happen, keeping up. We chase after the next win, the next email, the next item on the to-do list.

And while there is nothing wrong with striving, or achieving, or being ambitious...

When our identity becomes wrapped in output—

When our worth gets tied to how fast or how much we can do—

We quietly trade presence for productivity.

And in doing so, we lose the thread of ourselves.

We Forget How to Feel

In all that speed, we forget how to feel.

We override the signals.

We suppress the stirrings.

We shut down the parts of ourselves that need to rest, to grieve, to soften.

 We fear that slowing down will derail us—

That turning toward the emotion might flood us,

Or worse… stall our momentum.

 But what if it’s the very thing that brings us back?

 Because when we skip the processing, we clog the inner channels that allow life to flow.

 Beauty. Wonder. Insight. Joy.

 We fill our calendars—but hollow out our lives.

Reflection: What Are You Holding Onto?

Lately I’ve been asking myself:

✨ What am I doing because it once served me, but no longer does?

✨ What am I clinging to—out of fear, not truth?

✨ What parts of me are longing to be felt, held, honored… before they slip away unnoticed?

The Sacred Moment of “Is This It?”

I’ve worked with hundreds of leaders and entrepreneurs who are at the top of their game, yet quietly asking the same question:

“Is this it?”

That moment—of asking, of wondering—is sacred.

Because it’s the beginning of remembering. The moment we realize the life we’ve built may not reflect the life we want to live.

It’s not a dead end—it’s a doorway.

A doorway into self-inquiry.

Into deeper listening.

Into the tenderness of being human.

The Beginning of Returning

It’s the moment we get to bring fierce curiosity and compassion to ourselves.

To notice our pulls. Our cravings.

To honor the things that delight us, teach us, stir us.

But if we are moving too fast, we miss them.

We miss the signs. The whispers. The magic that beckons.

So today, I’m slowing down. Again.

And I’m inviting you to do the same.

Turn Inward

These aren’t just prompts. They’re invitations to return to yourself.

💡 What part of your life are you rushing past?

💡 What’s one moment today you could treat as sacred?

💡 If this exact moment would never come again—how would you meet it?

Let that be your anchor.

Let that be your reset.

Let that be the doorway back to presence.

A Space to Practice Presence—Together

This is why I created Calm & Connect.

A space to pause.

To reconnect.

To gently unhook from what no longer serves, and return to what’s real.

🌿 Calm & Connect. Sunday, May 18th.

And if you're a leader ready to bring this work into your organization—through keynotes, workshops, or weekly mindfulness sessions—this is the work I’ve done for over a decade.

 Helping high performers slow down enough to come alive again.

Helping organizations become more human.

 🔗 Join Calm & Connect

🔗 Explore 1:1 Coaching or Corporate Support

What needs to die—so you can fully live? 🌱

Recently, while co-facilitating an Entrepreneurs’ Organization Retreat in Mexico, my co-facilitator Jesús shared a practice that struck me deep in my core:

 "Every night, I choose to die… it’s not easy, but I let my ego, my known 'self' die, and I wake up each day, ready to be reborn."

 At first, I just listened.

Then, the weight of it settled in.

 What would it mean to let the parts of ourselves that no longer serve us die each night?

What would it look like to wake up lighter, freer, untethered to old fears and patterns…or even identities we work so hard to justify and defend?

I kept coming back to this:

So much of what keeps us from fully living isn’t what’s happening around us—it’s what we’re unwilling to release.

And when I did, something shifted:

✨ The fear loosened its grip—but it didn’t leave.
✨ Instead, it sharpened my awareness. Made every moment richer, brighter, more alive.
✨ It made me stop waiting for life to happen—and start choosing it, now.
✨ It made me ask: What am I still holding onto that’s keeping me from fully living?

And I don’t think I’m alone in this.

Most of us are gripping onto something—whether we realize it or not.

A belief. A fear. An identity we’ve outgrown.

Maybe for you, it’s…

💭 "I am someone who always struggles."
💭 "Who I am is not enough."
💭 "I can’t let this go—what if I lose everything?"

But what if you let that version of yourself die?

Not all at once. Not forcefully.
But gently, like an exhale. Like an old weight slipping off your shoulders.

What if, every night, you laid down your fears—so that every morning, you could wake up as something more?

There’s something fascinating about oyster farming in New Zealand.

Long lines are dropped into the ocean, and oysters—tiny, free, unanchored—attach themselves.

They grow there. They harden there.
And eventually, they are farmed and harvested.

But what they don’t realize is—they could let go.

They could release themselves into the open ocean, into movement, into life.
But they don’t.

And neither do we.

We grip onto what we know, even when it keeps us small, stuck, afraid.
We hold onto who we were, even when it keeps us from becoming who we could be.
We forget that we have the power to unhook—to step into something bigger, freer, more expansive.

So, I’ll ask you:

👉 Where are you holding on so tightly that it’s keeping you from fully living?

Scarcity: The Fear That’s Hard to Release

For me, scarcity is something I have had to unhook from again and again.

I grew up hearing: 

"We may have this today—but we may not be able to tomorrow."

It was meant to teach me gratitude.
Instead, it wired me for anxiety, control, and the fear of not having enough.

And I don’t think I’m alone in this.

Scarcity doesn’t just show up around money.

For some, it’s about Love. Stability. Security. Worth.

It’s the quiet belief that whispers:
"I must hold on. I must play it safe. I must grip tighter—because what if I lose everything?"

And yet, here’s what I know:

The more we hold on in fear, the more we lose in presence.

It’s like an app running in the background, draining energy we don’t even realize we’re spending. And unless we consciously shut it down, compassionately close it out—it keeps pulling us away from life.

What Needs to Die—So You Can Fully Live?

I’ll be honest: This is a daily practice.

I don’t do it perfectly. I get stuck, I forget, I grip too tightly.
But there’s a whisper in me that always nudges me back to presence.

And so today, I’m pausing.

To ask myself:

✨ What am I gripping too tightly?
✨ What am I afraid to release?
✨ What belief, pattern, or identity am I willing to let die—so I can fully live?

And I invite you to do the same.

A Space to Explore This Together

I believe in making space for these conversations.

For pausing.
For sitting with the unknown instead of avoiding it.
For letting ourselves ask the hard questions, so we don’t sleepwalk through life.

And that’s why I created Calm & Connect.

A space for stillness. For noticing.
For letting go of what doesn’t serve us—and choosing what does.

If this resonates, come sit with me.

🌿 Join us in Calm & Connect.

💡 Looking for deeper work?
Let’s explore 1:1 coaching or an upcoming retreat.

🔗 Click Here to Learn More & Join the Conversation

The Call to Live. Fully. Deeply. Now.

There’s something stirring in me.

A whisper. A pull. A call I can’t quite name yet—but I can feel it.

And maybe, just maybe, you feel it too.

Lately, I’ve found myself asking: What does it truly mean to live?
Not just exist. Not just get through. But live.

To feel awake, to feel present, to feel—fully, deeply, now.

Because I don’t want to sleepwalk through this life. 

I don’t want to wake up one day and realize I missed it.

And so, I’ve been sitting with these questions:

💭 Am I alive when I get caught up in the mayhem of my mind?
💭 Am I alive when I replay old worries, waiting for the perfect time to act?
💭 Am I alive when I hold onto certainty, avoiding the stretch that real growth requires?

Or…

💡Am I alive when I lean into discomfort—because discomfort is often the first step toward something bigger?

💡Am I alive when I choose presence over autopilot? When I pause, breathe, and truly take in the moment?

💡Am I alive when I say yes to something my heart longs for, even if I don’t yet know where it will lead?

I don’t have the final answers. But I do know this:

I want to live.

And I want that for you, too.

What If Today Was Your Last?

I recently came across a story that stopped me in my tracks.

"I woke up as my 90-year-old self in my 32-year-old body… and it was amazing. I took the walk I always postponed. When my mother called, I cried, because it had been years since I’d heard her voice. A voice I took for granted before it was too late."

I sat with that for a long time.

Because it made me wonder…

📌 Who in my life do I take for granted?
📌 What am I waiting to do, say, or feel?
📌 What would I regret if tomorrow never came?

And if that wasn’t enough—this thought landed even deeper:

If today were my last, would I have been fully here for it?

Not just in the big ways—but in the quiet, ordinary moments.

☕ The first sip of morning coffee.
🌅 The way the sky shifts colors before the world wakes up.
👂 The sound of laughter from someone I love.

So often, we wait for the “big things” to wake us up. The promotion. The love story. The life-changing trip. But maybe—the things that make life worth living are already right in front of us.

The only question is: Are we here for them?

A Space to Sit With It All

Lately, I’ve been feeling a pull to shed another layer. To sit in the discomfort of peeling back what isn’t real—so I can step more fully into what is.

And if I’m honest? That’s not always easy.

Most of us resist stillness.
We avoid the unknown.
We fill space so we don’t have to feel.

But what if the discomfort isn’t something to fear—but something to lean into?
What if, instead of turning away from the uncertainty, we turned toward it?
What if we gave ourselves space to listen? To really listen?

🌿 That’s why I created Calm & Connect.

A space to sit in the unknown together. To listen, not just to our thoughts, but to something deeper. To create space for clarity to emerge—not by force, but by presence.

It’s for those who are willing to get uncomfortable in the pursuit of something greater. 

For those who want to live—not later, but now.

If this resonates, come sit with me, with us, this Sunday, March 16th.

If you’ve been feeling the pull to something more, but don’t know what’s next—let’s explore it together.

An Invitation to Listen

✨ What helps you come alive?
✨ What is your soul asking for?
✨ Are you willing to listen?
✨ Are you courageous enough to heed its request?

If this message speaks to you, I see you.

🌿 Want to sit with these questions in community?
Join us in Calm & Connect.

💡Looking for deeper work?
Let’s explore 1:1 coaching or an upcoming retreat.

🔗 Click Here to connect or simply reply to this email

Your Mind's Worst Trick—And How to Stop It 🙌

When was the last time your mind took you somewhere you didn’t want to go?

It was one of those rare, sun-filled NYC days. The kind of day we all live for… The kind that either demands an unnecessary urgent work errand just to get outside—or turns an ordinary weekend into something magical. But instead of soaking in the moment, I was somewhere else completely, lost…drowning in the mayhem of my own mind.  

I was spiraling through everything at once:

🔹 The never-ending to-do list.

🔹 My grandmother’s cancer.

🔹 My dad’s terminal diagnosis.

🔹 The tens of millions worth of jewels stuck in Qatar’s customs under my charge.

Suddenly, before I knew it, I was back in Qatar—arguing with customs agents, my voice rising, my heart pounding. Then, somehow, I was being hauled off to jail, panic flooding my system as I feared I’d never see my father again.

✨ But here’s the thing…

I wasn’t in Qatar.
I wasn’t in jail….

I was still standing on a sunny NYC street, completely hijacked by my own mind.

My brain had taken a full-blown trip—dragging my body and a suitcase full of stress chemicals along with it. Because here’s the truth:

At that moment, my body was experiencing it all as if it were real. My cortisol and adrenaline were flooding my system. My breath was shallow. And while my brain was trying to prepare me for the worst, I wasn’t just thinking about it—I was living it.

And for what?

Not only was I suffering through a disaster that hadn’t happened (and never would), but I was also:
🤯 Debilitating any ability to think clearly or rationally.
😰 Completely destroying the moment in front of me.

And this wasn’t just an isolated incident. This was how I lived.

Every hammer my boss could drop? I lived it. Not once, not twice—more like 20,000 times. Meanwhile, in reality? They happened, but far from the frequency, I experienced it. 

Sounds Familiar?

I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this 😉 (Or maybe I am? 😅)

🌿 When was the last time your mind took you somewhere you didn’t want to go?
🌱 What stressors do you amplify in your mind that haven’t even happened yet?
✨ How might your day, your week, or your life change if you could redirect your mind toward clarity and peace?

Here’s what I know now: We don’t just suffer when something actually goes wrong. We suffer every time we relive it in our heads—before, during, and long after it’s passed.  Our minds are wired to scan for danger—they do this brilliantly.

But here’s the best part: we can work with our minds.

It takes practice. It’s our job to take the reins, to remind them what’s real, and to train them to come back to the present.

Bottom line?

You can train your mind. You can break the cycle. You can stop reliving disasters that never happen—and start taking back control.

How?

1. Join Calm & Connect. (the best part? It's Free!) 🌿 

A space to pause, breathe, and retrain your mind to return to the present—so you can lead, live, and create from clarity instead of chaos.

📅 Next Session: Sunday, February 23rd at 10 AM CT

2. Dig deeper. I work 1:1 with heart-centered individuals, founders, leaders and high-achievers who are ready to shift their relationship with stress. Those who are ready to not just to feel better, but to think better, live better, and if appropriate, lead better. If you’re ready to step into a new way of leading and living, let’s talk.

Join a session or reach out to explore 1:1 coaching. Because peace isn’t just a concept—it’s a skill you can build.

Together, we can create space for peace, clarity, and impact. ✨

P.S. What’s one way you bring yourself back to the present when your mind runs away? Drop a comment—I’d love to hear. 💬

The Work We All Avoid… But That Changes Everything

I was ready to smash mud against the wall. Maybe even break some plates. Or rip off the door handles—something, anything.

It wasn’t just frustration. It was something deeper. An agitation that felt like it had hijacked my body, dripping with fear and fury.

Have you been there? When everything and everyone irritates you, but deep down, you know—it’s not really them?

I knew that if I wasn’t careful, I’d leave a wake of destruction behind me. Even if I didn’t lash out, even if I kept my words measured, the energy alone would reverberate through my interactions, my decisions, my day.

And here’s the thing:
That anger wasn’t me.

It was a state I was in. A moment I was experiencing.

 ✨ Meditation and mindfulness have given me the ability to know: I am not my emotions. I am not my frustration. I am not my stress.

But that doesn’t mean ignoring it.

Our first instinct when these emotions arise? Push them down. Disown them. Hide them under productivity, numbing, distraction. But when we do that? They don’t disappear. They fester. They grow. And they carve paths of destruction—inside us and around us.

So, instead of resisting, I did what I teach. I turned toward it.

A Simple But Powerful Reset

Try it.

Just a few moments of gentle touch can:
🌿 Activate the parasympathetic nervous system (rest + digest mode).
🌱 Stimulate oxytocin (the “connection” hormone).
✨ Calm the vagus nerve, signaling safety to the brain.
💨 Allow for deeper breathing, reducing the chemical flood of stress.

And most importantly? It created space.

Space between me and the intensity of the moment.

Space to shift from, “This is happening to me” → to “Why is this here? What is this telling me?”

 And the answer always varies.

Sometimes, it’s insight into what someone else is experiencing—offering me greater clarity and empathy.

Sometimes, it’s a signal that I’ve been neglecting a change I know is needed.

But always, there is insight—if I’m willing to listen. 

The Hard Work of Peace

At our recent retreat, when I asked what people most wanted in their lives, the answer was overwhelmingly the same:

Peace. Internal peace.

Not more time. Not more money. Not even more success.

But here’s the truth: Peace isn’t something we find—it’s something we cultivate.

And while it’s simple, it’s not easy.

It requires:

🔥 Courage to face what’s within, even when it’s uncomfortable.
🌿 Commitment to practice, reflect, and grow—day after day.
🌱 Hard work to release old stories and build new ways of being. 

And while this work is challenging, staying stuck is harder.

The choice? Choose your hard.

Let’s Cultivate Peace—Together

Join Calm & Connect – a space where we practice grounding ourselves, creating clarity, and finding calm.
📅 Next Session: Sunday, February 09, 2025 at 10 AM CST
👉 Sign Up Here

 Or, if you’re an organization looking to support your teams in managing stress and creating clarity, let’s talk about The Reset Room—a transformative, multi-sensory experience designed to train the mind and reset the nervous system.

✨ Because when we master our minds, we reclaim our lives.

👉 Schedule The Alignment and Clarity Call here.

P.S. How do you bring yourself back when your mind runs away? Reply and let me know—I’d love to hear. 💬

🌀Stress isn’t the enemy—it’s the invitation.🌀

Stress gets a bad rap. And honestly, I get it. It's exhausting. Overwhelming. The kind of thing we often want to step away from, push under the rug, or numb altogether.

But here's something I've come to realize: not all stress is created equal.

Yes, there's the stress that drains us—the kind we all want less of. But there's also stress that has the power to stretch us, to expand our capacity, and to help us grow into the person we're meant to become.

Recently, I came across a National Geographic article that reinforced an idea we've explored before: a life completely devoid of stress isn't actually good for us. Studies show that people with no stress are more likely to experience cognitive decline.

Why?

Because our brains thrive on novelty and challenge. The hippocampus—our brain's hub for memory and learning—loves newness. Every time we lean into something new or uncomfortable, we're feeding it, strengthening it, keeping it sharp as we age.

The question, then, isn't “How do I avoid stress?” but rather, “How do I engage with it in a way that stretches me without breaking me?”

Two Keys to Navigating Stress

Not recklessly, but with curiosity and intention.

Because sometimes, stress is an invitation to grow.

Maybe it's showing up differently with family or in-laws, evolving past those long-standing dynamics that seem stuck at age 15 (or, let's be honest, age 5🤭). Maybe it's challenging yourself to handle a work deadline with clarity rather than chaos or breaking free from that inner dialogue that drains your energy.

This doesn't mean every stressor is worth leaning into. (I'm definitely not asking you to keep your hand on a hot stove!) But discomfort that stretches us—that nudges us toward growth—is worth exploring.

This process, called interoception, takes into account how well you've slept, what you've eaten, and the emotional or physical load you're carrying.

When your “financial” reserves are low, even small stressors can feel like mountains. That's why it's so important—especially in busy seasons—to replenish your internal “bank account.”

For me, that looks like:

• A daily morning meditation to start the day grounded.

• Committing to physical movement, even when it's tempting to skip it.

• Prioritizing 8 hours of sleep to let my body restore itself.

For you, it might mean:

• Limiting inflammatory habits like extra alcohol or sugar.

• Blocking off time in your calendar for rest or meaningful connection.

• Building intentional pauses into your day to recalibrate before stress builds.

What will help you save and replenish your reserves this season?

This Week's Calm & Connect: Cultivating Peace Amid the Swirl

This Sunday at 11am ET, I'll be diving into these ideas in our Calm & Connect session. Together, we'll explore how to navigate stress with intention and cultivate equanimity in the midst of it all.

👉🏼 Click here to sign up

Whether you're feeling stretched thin or simply want to center yourself for the weeks ahead, I'd love to have you join us.

A Rare Opportunity to Shed the Stress Before 2025 🎉🎊🎈

I've had such a blast facilitating many incredible MCC sessions already, and the transformations have been inspiring. While so many of the sessions have been exactly what I needed, technology hasn't exactly been my friend - and let's be honest, I have had a blast doing these!

That's why I'm keeping a few more spots open. I want to submit the absolute best two sessions for my certification while seeing who else I can support!

If this has been calling to you—or if you're ready to offload stress and shed what's no longer worth carrying into 2025—this is your chance to step into clarity and possibility.

These sessions are discounted to $275 (normally $675), will be recorded (audio only!) for evaluation purposes, and securely discarded afterward. You can sign up for 1 or TWO!

👉 Click here to book your session

Let's create the space for you to show up lighter, clearer, and more aligned in the new year.

Let's Step Into Growth Together

This season, let's not just survive stress—let's engage with it in ways that stretch us, evolve us, and prepare us for what's next.

Remember: how we end this year shapes how we begin the next. Let's make it intentional.

P.S. If you're ready to dive deeper into these practices, I'm still offering two discounted MCC coaching sessions for new clients through December. Let's uncover what's possible for you. 👉 Click here to book.

Anxiety and Compassion: Learning to Work with Your Mind 🙌

Today, I want to share something about anxiety, and how, oddly enough, it's often our own compassion showing up in disguise. Anxiety has been a part of my journey, too—one that's driven me into this work of learning to befriend my own mind.

Anxiety has a way of taking root in the unknown. The moment our brain senses uncertainty, it kicks into “protection mode,” imagining all the worst-case scenarios to help us prepare. But instead of helping us, it usually just paralyzes us.

It's almost as if our brain clutches onto anxiety like a well-worn security blanket, thinking, “If I hold onto this, I'll stay safe.” The problem? That “blanket” doesn't actually keep us safe. It keeps us stuck.

This weekend, Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche helped me see anxiety in a new light. What's happening when we feel anxiety is actually compassion. Our mind wants to help, to comfort, but because it lacks clear direction, it reaches for the quick-fix—something to numb the discomfort. For some of us, it's reaching for a purchase, hiding in the pantry, a fight, or a glass of wine. But this well-meaning urge to “fix” can actually amplify the problem.

Listening to the Body's Early Warnings

One thing I've noticed—and maybe you have too—is that our body often knows anxiety is brewing before our brain even catches on. Maybe it's a quickening heart, a tightening in the chest, or that scatterbrained feeling.

Instead of checking out in that moment, what if we checked in?

For me, that shift came when I realized that anxiety shows up as my brain's way of protecting me—a relentless need to “know” an outcome in uncertain situations. Here's something fascinating: our brains are prediction machines, constantly scanning for answers to help us feel secure. They want to be “right” because accuracy kept our ancestors alive. But when we face ambiguity, our brains can spiral into worst-case scenarios, feeding anxiety instead of offering clarity.

Over the years, I've discovered tools that help me work with my mind rather than fight it. Some of these tools are exercises I teach to organizations and clients—great for building resilience—and others are quick resets for when you're on the go. One practice that's been especially invaluable lately? Pausing and connecting with curiosity and compassion.

Challenging the Anxious Brain

In the middle of a busy grocery store recently, I found myself “back in the attic” of my mind—everything felt dim and narrow, like I was on autopilot, barely noticing what I was putting in my cart.

With my scattered mind, I stopped, placed a hand over my heart, and gently rubbed it. This small, grounding gesture—taught to me by a mentor—sends a signal to the nervous system, telling it to settle down. Physical touch activates the vagus nerve, helping to calm the body, while reminding both heart and mind that it's safe to relax. Paired with a few slow, deep breaths, this act disrupts the anxiety loop just enough to create space for a shift in perspective.

After grounding myself, I posed a simple question to my brain: “What if it's better than I could ever imagine? What would that look like?” This question disrupts the anxious cycle by offering my mind something positive to consider. It's like saying to my brain, “I hear you, but let's also consider this.” This shift from “What if everything goes wrong?” to “What if things turn out beautifully?” opens up a mental space where anxiety can transform into curiosity and even hope.

The Power of Compassionate Curiosity

The beauty of this practice isn't that it erases anxiety—it transforms our relationship with it. By building a more compassionate, less reactive connection with our minds, we create space for other possibilities.

I often teach and speak on The BeAbove Leadership model called the 7 Levels of Effectiveness, which guides us from fear and frustration into courage, and ultimately, innovation. We can't expect ourselves to leap from fear to innovation in one go. But this practice offers a bridge: it allows us to step into courage, opening the door to countless possibilities and new ways to navigate what we once thought were impossible situations. Through this shift, even the most daunting moments can be reimagined, revealing unexpected paths forward.

Through this shift, even the most daunting moments can be reimagined, revealing unexpected paths forward.

Your Invitation to Pause, Connect, and Find Calm

As I step into the final stages of my journey to become a Master Certified Coach (MCC)—after thousands of hours coaching and training others—I'm thrilled to offer two discounted coaching sessions to new clients who are open to recording the sessions (audio only!) as part of my evaluation process and exam.

If you're looking to dig deeper, gain clarity, or simply reconnect with a sense of calm, I'd be honored to support you. This is for a very limited time and only available to a few individuals.

Have Questions? Simply reply to this email or contact her at 404-840-2238. 

Alternatively - ready to dig in?!? Grab your spot here! 

AND if you're searching for a supportive space to navigate this season with curiosity and clarity, join me for our free Calm & Connect sessions. This week, our session time has shifted to 10am ET (from 11am ET), and I'd LOVE for you to join us. Together, we'll practice grounding ourselves, connecting with compassion, and finding clarity amid the chaos.

Wishing you ease, curiosity, and peace, wherever you are.

P.S. You have permission to take a pause, just like you would offer to someone else in need. Let's give that gift to ourselves, too.

"The Day Came..." Embrace Discomfort and Unlock True Growth

We've all been there—pushing forward, trying to reach the next level of success, only to find ourselves in the middle of extraordinary discomfort. So much so, that momentarily we begin to question ourselves: "Am I really cut out for this? Who do I think I am? Maybe I should just be satisfied with the status quo, or what I've already achieved."

It's that feeling that can stop us in our tracks. And if we listen to it, a small (or large) part of us starts to shrink.

But here's something important to remember: discomfort is not a roadblock. It's an invitation to grow. 

Growth isn't a one-time leap; it's an ongoing process. In those moments of discomfort, we often find ourselves at a crossroads: Will we numb ourselves with distractions—blame, anger, shopping, eating, or overworking? Or will we choose to lean in, even when it feels like too much? 

This is where transformation happens. When we embrace discomfort instead of avoiding it, we create space for real growth. We realize that what we've been avoiding is the very thing that will help us blossom.

The Power of Embracing Discomfort

Time and again, I see this with my clients. They reach incredible milestones—scaling their businesses, growing their teams, and expanding their lives. But at some point, they all hit a breaking point, where they are asked to stretch further, to grow beyond what they thought was possible.

It's in these moments—when we lean in, reflect, pause, and face the discomfort—that true growth happens. Anaïs Nin captures this beautifully: "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."

It's not about having all the answers—it's about trusting yourself to take that first step into the unknown and letting the rest unfold.

I've Been There Too: The Reset Room Journey

This process of growth doesn't just apply to personal development—it's at the core of every successful venture. And trust me, I've been there too with The Reset Room.

As some of you know, I've been on an incredible journey with my partners, bringing this extraordinary vision to life. Our goal is to support organizations and high-stress environments like conferences and corporate offices with a space designed to address stress, wellbeing, and leadership in a transformative way.

But, like any true innovation, there have been plenty of "oh crap!" moments—moments of extraordinary discomfort, where we hold the dichotomy of both clarity and uncertainty. The truth is, in this pilot phase, we don't have all the answers yet. But that's exactly where the real opportunity lies.

I've had my own moments of insecurity and doubt with this project, wondering, “Am I really ready for this?” And yet, every time I take a deep breath, step back, and truly listen, the answer is a resounding YES. And as I navigate through the discomfort, I'm reminded of the profound impact The Reset Room has already had: The feedback has been incredible, and the ripple effects are already starting to show—people are walking away more grounded, more focused, and more equipped to handle the challenges that lie ahead.

It's through sitting with both the discomfort and the unknown that we create something far bigger than ourselves. When we embrace the not-knowing, we get to play, to imagine infinite possibilities, and to co-create with others who are just as invested in the vision.

What Are You Ready to Embrace?

So, I ask you: What discomfort are you avoiding? What challenges are inviting you to lean in, trust yourself, and take that first step toward the growth that's waiting on the other side?

Remember: It's not just about weathering the storm—it's about blossoming because of it.

If you're feeling ready to embrace that next level of growth—for yourself, your team, or your organization—I'd love to support you on this journey. And if The Reset Room feels like the space your organization needs to create lasting transformation, let's talk about how we can bring it to life together.

Here's to the courage to grow, the strength to lean in, and the beauty of what's on the other side.

P.S. If this resonates, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Drop me a note or comment, and let’s continue the conversation. 

---

The Newest Secret to Staying Energized and Focused: The Reset Room

I am thrilled to share some exciting news that's been brewing behind the scenes—a project close to my heart that I believe will change how we experience conferences and high-stress environments.

🌟Introducing The Reset Room!🌟

Imagine being at a bustling conference, surrounded by the excitement of new ideas, people, and non-stop sessions. It's invigorating, but let's be honest—it can also be overwhelming. That's why we've created The Reset Room—a space where you can truly pause, breathe, and recharge.

Together with Mirette Seireg of MPATH Music, a trailblazer as the head of the world's first of its kind, woman-owned music library supporting underrepresented composers, and the incredibly talented multi award-winning composer Lisbeth Scott, we've developed a space that's more than just a break. It's an immersive, multi-sensory experience designed to help you reset, recharge, and reignite your inner spark.

What makes The Reset Room so unique? It's not just about taking a break; it's about transforming how you feel, think, and engage with the world around you. The meditation is designed to help you calm the amygdala—the part of your brain that triggers stress responses—while opening pathways to the creative and centered parts of your mind. This process fosters a state of calm, clarity, and inner strength, allowing you to reset and reconnect with your true self.

🌿Why The Reset Room Matters🌿

Whether at a conference or just managing the daily grind, finding moments to pause and center ourselves is crucial. We often push through the day without taking a break, leading to burnout, decreased productivity, and a lack of connection with ourselves and others. The Reset Room offers a solution—a space where you can step away, engage in an immersive meditation, and return feeling more focused, calm, and energized.

Think of it as a mini-retreat within your busy schedule, a moment to reconnect with yourself and find balance amidst the chaos. The music, composed with clear intention and rooted in hard science, flows seamlessly with the meditation. Hypnotic yet melodically and harmonically engaging, it enhances the meditative journey, supporting you in navigating the day with renewed focus and purpose

🚀Bringing The Reset Room to Life🚀

We're excited to launch The Reset Room at WBEC-West in just TWO weeks. But this is only the beginning! Our vision is to bring The Reset Room to conferences and workplaces everywhere. Imagine the impact of having a space like this available whenever you need to reset and recharge—whether at your next big event or even within your own organization.

If this resonates with you, let's talk about how The Reset Room can come to your next conference or be integrated into your office environment.  Know someone who might benefit from this? Introductions are always welcome!

🤝Supporting You Along the Way🧘🏻‍♀️

I know that not everyone will have the chance to experience The Reset Room at WBEC-West, but this initiative is about more than just one event. It's about fostering a culture of mindfulness and well-being, no matter where you are.

Join us for our next Calm & Connect session this Sunday, where we'll dive deeper into the importance of taking time to reset and recharge. These sessions provide a supportive space to explore, learn, and connect with like-minded individuals.

What's Next? Stay Tuned!

There's more on the horizon, and I can't wait to share it with you. The Reset Room is just the start of a broader movement to integrate mindfulness into our professional lives, helping us all lead with greater clarity, balance, and intention. Stay tuned for more updates and opportunities to get involved!

Let's reset, recharge, and reignite—together.

Breaking the Cycle: How to Transform Success into True Fulfillment

Ever feel like you're running a race you didn't sign up for…

…Only to realize you're chasing your own shadow? 👥 

Me too. We spend so much time and energy trying to outrun our fears, our frustrations, those nagging voices in our heads…ultimately, simply, ourselves.

And the kicker? All that running, and we find out, we've only been on a treadmill, 🏃🏾‍♀️ never truly arriving at a new destination. There may be different people next to us, but deep down, it still feels the same.

In our last chat (and newsletter), we touched on the power of sitting with discomfort—particularly the discomfort of being with our emotions rather than trying to outrun them. Today, I want to take it a step further and explore how avoiding that discomfort actually limits us—keeping us from being the bold, innovative, and, quite frankly, amazing humans we're not only capable of being but meant to be—and already are, beneath the muck of our mental mess.

And all it really does is keep us disconnected from our true selves. It's like having a memory-draining app running in the background, constantly leaking our energy and keeping us in a battle with ourselves. 🔋

I've seen it time and time again—initially in my own life, and then ultimately in the lives of the incredible people and leaders I've had the privilege to work with. My work isn't just about helping people "tinker with their brains"—it's about guiding them to truly see themselves, to stop running, and to start embracing the amazing, unique, bright, beautiful beings they are.

Because when we stop battling ourselves and start living in alignment, everything changes.

Transforming Success into Fulfillment…

Have you ever hit that point where you've “made it” or reached that precious goal but still feel like something's missing? I've been there. Misery or apathy often tag along on that journey, sometimes in a seesaw with the ego's grip on success.

But here's the thing—when we learn to sit with ourselves, to really be present with all those messy, uncomfortable feelings, and acknowledge how we sometimes bury our heads in the sand or overlook what's really there, we unlock something incredible: choice. 

The choice to act from a place of alignment rather than fear, to connect deeply with who we really are, and to start living—really living.

 And that's when everything changes. 

 We stop just going through the motions and start connecting more authentically, building deeper relationships, and unleashing creativity and inspired leadership we didn't even know we had. It's uncomfortable at first, sure. But trust me, it's worth it.

Calm & Connect: A Space to Get Real (and Maybe Laugh a Little)

This Sunday, I'm inviting you to join our Calm & Connect session at 11am EST/8am PST. We'll dive into these ideas, probably share a few laughs, and explore practical steps you can take to start or deepen this journey. Whether you're just beginning or looking to take it up a notch, this session will have something for you—and maybe even a surprise or two.

Something Exciting (and a Little Mysterious) on the Horizon…

 I'm bursting at the seams with something new and exciting that's coming soon. It's an initiative I've been working on with some incredible co-collaborators, and it's all coming together at a major conference in September. I can't wait to share more with you—stay tuned!

 In the meantime, if you're ready to stop running and start living in alignment, let's connect. Whether it's for yourself or your organization, I'm here to help you lead with clarity, heart, and maybe even a bit of irreverence. For some immediate zen, check out my Insight Timer page—more meditations are on the way because, yes, my Calm & Connect Community has spoken!

The Game Changer for Leadership and Life: Navigating Anxiety and Cultivating Self-Love

"To expand our sphere of comfort, we must first sit in discomfort."

These words were steeped in my bones during a recent and soul-stirring silent retreat in Boone, NC with Gurudev, renowned for his global humanitarian efforts. For some, the idea of silence sounds miserable; for others, pure bliss. For me, while it would have been true pain years ago, it was a huge gift that I gave to myself.

During the retreat, while we couldn't speak, we could submit questions on paper to Gurudev, hoping for answers. The number of questions asking, “How do I love myself?” or “How do I rid myself of my anxiety?” was pervasive.

Here's the thing: these questions are not just personal issues. How we feel about ourselves influences every action and interaction. I've seen this impact firsthand—whether through my own experiences or through the stories shared by those I have the privilege to work with. Anxiety and self-doubt can be incredibly limiting, affecting our clarity, decision-making, and overall well-being.

Transforming Anxiety, Building Self-Love & Changing our World  

We live in a polarized world where fear and inadequacy often drive our actions and interactions. It's important to understand that when we, even unconsciously, live with these feelings, they directly impact our brain chemistry, reducing our ability to listen, engage, and collaborate. To change this, we need to start with ourselves. 

By doing our personal work, and addressing the issues of anxiety and self love, we begin to repair the fabric that's been torn apart—within our relationships, at work, and at scale. We can lay down our defenses, listen more openly, and work together to build bridges and innovative solutions never before imagined.

A friend responded to a recent post I shared about all the questions asked to Gurudev with the following:

"Thank you, I really needed that today.  Your post really resonates with the work I've been trying to do lately. And I do think that it hits on the hardest question: how do we truly love ourselves?"

He further acknowledged that some of the things we tend to do to allegedly build ourselves up are actually to our detriment. Here's what I shared with him:

It's a practice that requires courage. It involves sitting and looking at what pulls us away—what internal dialogue and limiting beliefs are impeding access. How do we listen with both compassion and detachment? Because it's our attachment to those words that gives them their power. With that listening of compassion, detachment, and ultimately discernment, we can start to change the dialogue and the narrative.

Addressing anxiety and self-love involves building a new relationship with the voices inside our heads—the ones that fuel our aggression or amplify our anxiety. Mindfulness and compassion are not just abstract concepts; they are skills that can be developed.

It's also critical to note that self-love is not a destination but a continuous practice. It demands that we confront our internal dialogues, challenge limiting beliefs, and rewrite the narratives that no longer serve us.

So, what are you doing as an organization or leader to support yourself—and your people?

In my bi-weekly Calm and Connect sessions (open to everyone and happening THIS SUNDAY), we explore practical ways to develop these skills. There is a way to begin, and it starts with small, intentional steps.

If you're seeking support in this journey, whether for yourself or your organization, reach out. Let's connect and explore how I can help you lead with clarity and heart. 

P.S. Join us for the next Calm & Connect session, this Sunday, July 28th to strengthen the muscle of mindfulness and dive into essential reflection alongside others. 

Embracing Change and Living in the Moment: My Journey to Nashville

LOVE, LOSS, AND NEW BEGINNINGS

Good morning!

It's been a while, and I've missed connecting with you. We have a lot to catch up on. Since we last connected, I embarked on quite a journey: returning from my six-month semi-sabbatical in Victoria, BC—a place I hold dear—spending a brief moment in Colorado with family, friends, and colleagues, and finally making a permanent move to Nashville, TN.

On May 6th, 2024, my entire storage unit, locked away since 2021, arrived from Texas. On May 7th, my heart ached as I said goodbye to one of the most precious beings in my life: my 16-year-old Maltese, Cooper.🐾

It felt as though he was saying, “Mom, I got you home. Now it's my time to rest.” 

Over the years, doctors warned me to prepare for this moment. But Cooper had an incredible spirit and seemed to live on nine lives. Each moment we shared, particularly towards the end, reminded me of a profound truth: we never know how long we have with the ones we love.

This realization can either paralyze us with fear and anxiety or be a precious gift—an opportunity to embrace each moment with love, gratitude, and presence.

In our Western culture, we often avoid discussing aging, death, and dying. We fear it and swipe left when it comes up. However, in cultures like Mexico, where age and death are embraced, every moment is lived with greater vitality and appreciation. By accepting the inevitable, it no longer lingers in the shadows but fiercely reminds us that every moment is unique and precious.

Living in Gratitude + Embracing New Beginnings🙏🏼

Reflecting on these experiences, I realize the preciousness of time and the importance of living in the present. We often get caught up in the hustle, forgetting to savor the beauty of each moment. But life, in all its imperfections, offers countless opportunities for gratitude and growth.

 And as I settle into Nashville, I'm excited about the new friendships and opportunities this city will bring. If you know anyone in Nashville who might be interested in connecting—whether for friendship or professional collaborations—I'd love an introduction - so please do not hesitate to reply to this email!!

Exciting Work Ahead🎉

On the professional front, there's a lot happening. At the end of the month, I'll be running two Unleash Mindful Leadership sessions for a global investment bank, an executive presence + public speaking event for a tech company, and several events focusing on how to effectively navigate stress—essential with the upcoming elections—and how to shift from frustration and fear to courage and innovation.

If your organization could benefit from our support and expertise, I'd love to explore how we can collaborate. Now is the perfect time to start the conversation, as we'll soon be stepping into the busy fall and election season. Let's work together to create resilient, mindful, and empowered teams.

An Invitation to Reflect and Connect

Today, I invite you to reflect on your relationship with time and change. Where might you be holding back in fear? How can you embrace the present moment with more gratitude and love?

Thank you for being part of this journey with me. Let's continue to embrace change, nurture our endeavors, and trust in the unfolding beauty of life

P.S. If you're navigating your own sea of change, remember: it's not just about weathering the storm. It's about developing the skills and learning to sail in new directions. If you're ready to embrace and cultivate change, reach out—I'd love to hear from you!

P.P.S. Don't forget to join us for Calm & Connect this Sunday, June 16th at 8 AM PST / 11 AM EST. It's a wonderful way to strengthen the muscle of mindfulness and dive into essential reflection alongside others.

How to Silence the Relentless Cacophony of Voices 📣

Have you ever noticed a cacophony of voices inside your head? Criticizing, doubting, and often holding you back from your true potential?

If your answer is yes, you're not alone. And while these internal dialogues can feel relentless, they also hold a key to profound self-discovery and freedom.

Inspired by the wisdom of 7th Century Zen master Seng-tsan, and shared by Tara Brach, I've been contemplating the idea that freedom is being "without anxiety about imperfection."

Consider that for a moment: Freedom is “without anxiety about imperfection.”

The voices that run rampant usually stake their energy on their perception of your imperfection, driven by a sometimes quiet-- other times megaphone📣-in-your-ear- fear of inadequacy or unworthiness.

Freedom from that anxiety of imperfection is not about silencing our inner critics, but rather learning to coexist with, and even at times leveraging them in a way that diminishes their control over us.

Designing a new Dynamic 🖊

Imagine for a moment the possibility of a new relationship with these voices where you listen to them with understanding and gentle curiosity rather than resistance. 

To be honest, for me at times, it has felt like I am drowning in their outpour.

For some - or rather many - of us, the tendency can be to numb, distract and disconnect; anything to guard against hearing the soft hum of these incessant voices. But when we can learn to lean in, to listen in a radical way, with compassion for ourselves and curiosity, we weaken their power and begin to find a form of liberation.

In recent weeks I have been playing with a concept that has been transformative. It's built on everything I've used and taught to date. For the sake of your eyes👀, and time 🕗, I am going to start with the foundations this strategy relies upon, and then I will share more about this process both in Sunday's Calm and Connect AND our next newsletter.

So let's start with the foundations, because without this, you cannot leverage the rest of the strategy. 

Foundation I 🌱

Pausing. While pausing may seem overly simplistic, when we try to ignore, fight or even “shut out,” the voices, they instead turn the faucets on full force, leaking constant contamination into the water of our mind.

The result? In addition to a low hum of suffocation,  we cannot see or perceive clearly. We become more reactive, tense and resistant to external stimuli (people, comments, interactions) because everything reinforces their narrative.

Pausing and simply acknowledging their presence is essential if we want to shut off the valve and start to decontaminate the water.

It also enables us to take a step back and see the voices for what they are: thoughts driven by fear, wanting us to be happy, but wildly off base in how to make that happen, manufacturing misery in the process. 

As we approach our next Calm and Connect event, I highly encourage you to reflect on your own inner dialogue. How do these voices shape your reality?

How might your life change if you viewed them through a lens of compassion and curiosity?

And then start with those pauses.

I am excited to dig in further to Part II of this conversation with you, both later this month - and through rich conversation at our next Calm & Connect!

If you haven't already, sign up below!

Empowerment through Choice: From Fear to Courage with Ancient Wisdom👵

Everyday we stand at a crossroads; faced with decisions and choices that shape our lives. 

And while it is said that it's the big moments that define us,  I argue that it is in the micro-moments, the ones that seen insignificant, where our character and resilience are cultivated. These micro-moments can strengthen our core OR, if we are not mindful, send us spiraling down a vortex of destructive thoughts and actions, knocking us off kilter, distancing us from what we desire most.

This parable brilliantly cuts straight to the heart of truth, reflecting the power of choice in those micro-moments:

The Essence of Our Daily Choices

Every day, multiple times a day, we stand before these wolves, and the choices we make, particularly in  fleeting moments, shape our reality. They determine whether we live a world dominated by fear and division or one flourishing with compassion and unity.

It's in what we choose to say, and what we withhold, how we to engage, the actions we take and the thoughts we entertain.  

And whether those thoughts are directed at ourselves or others, it makes no difference because feeding the wolf of shame, malice, righteousness: it eats at our core, and destabilizes our peace and influences our actions towards ourselves and others.

In leadership, as in life, it can be tempting to take the path of least resistance, succumbing to ego and anger And it's understandable; beyond whats largely modeled, there's a dopamine kick associated with it, making it both addictive and fleetingly rewarding. But as enticing as it may be, this path is treacherous in the long run.

A Personal Reflection: The Journey Toward Compassion

Acknowledging the presence of these wolves has been transformational for me. Feeding the wolf swayed by ego had become habit, shaped by influential figures and authorities who promoted a dog-eat-dog kind of world and/or were accustomed to putting others down ( self included) in order to feed the need for power.

While these influences can infiltrate our own mannerisms, how we think and behave towards others and ourselves, the road to unlearning - to feeding the wolf of curiosity, fortitude, resilience and peace - is life changing.  It requires constant (compassionate) vigilance and an unwavering commitment to growth and wellbeing. 

But what I can assure you is this - when you consciously choose which wolf to feed, your world transforms. Each of us will experience this change differently.

A Challenge for You: Which Wolf Will You Feed?

As we forge ahead, I extend to you a challenge: In every decision, every interaction, consider deeply which wolf you are feeding. This is not about an aggressive vigilance, but rather a compassionate awareness, knowing that without awareness we cannot be at choice. But with awareness we can choose… and while we may choose the more perilous path from time to time, we opt to reflect on the chain reactions and results and choose differently the next time we find ourselves at similar crossroads.

This is not merely a choice but a profound responsibility. Our thoughts, words, and actions hold the potential to transform not just our lives but the world at large.

Let us be active architects rather than passive dreamers of a brighter future. Each choice we make lays a brick in the foundation of the world we wish to inhabit, a world where leadership is synonymous with empathy, integrity, growth and genuine connection.

As always, if you are ready for more guidance on “how” and tools, reach out, and let's connect!  Whether for 1:1 coaching or corporate work programs that build resilience and enhance mental and emotional wellbeing, we've got you covered!

The Alchemy of Self: Transforming How We See Ourselves, and Therefore, the World ✨

"We do not see the world as it is, we see the world as we are." - Anais Nin

In the quiet moments of reflection, have you ever pondered over the nature of your reality? Is it a rigid, unchangeable constant, or is it something more malleable, something that shifts with the tides of our perceptions?

For me, this profound insight by Anais Nin captures the essence of our journey. It's not just about changing the scenery around us but transforming the lens through which we view life.

From Personal Experience: At some point, we all yearn for change—be it in a fleeting moment or during life's persistent trials. I have lived through thousands of such moments, both as a child and well into my adulthood, where the only voice I heard was the echo of a desire for something – or everything – to be different, myself included.

I lived in fear. Fear that I wasn’t good enough, fear that things would change – fearful that things wouldn’t change. Fear permeated my being all the way down to my bones, but it was such a constant companion, I hardly realized its influence and couldn’t imagine life otherwise.

Until it hit me, like a lightning bolt, painful, illuminating and freeing all at once, liberating me into a whole new lease on life.

The quest for happiness, contentment, or success was not about altering my essence but about embracing a new state of mind.

Iterating Out: Decades later, I have watched innumerable clients who arrive at my doorstep with the desire to change their worlds (their jobs, partners, teams, colleagues), shift their relationship with themselves, how they see and treat themselves, and ultimately, generate tectonic shifts in their worlds.

The ever-agitated CEO moved from a world against him to a world which flocked to him.

The fear-riddled entrepreneur moved from a world to be fearful of – to a world which is replete with incredible opportunities.

The inadequate manager riddled with imposter syndrome, watched as her ideas + processes became a global company’s “standard” for processes.  

To alter our outcomes, we must work with our minds; how we see ourselves. There is no other way around it.

The Shift: How do we initiate such a transformative shift?

It starts with self-compassion, recognizing and embracing ourselves wholly and completely. To commit, above all else, to treat ourselves with the kindness we would bestow upon others – those we hold most dear.

It takes courage: Courage to be willing to do things differently. Courage to be willing to look at – and then unravel the unconscious stories and beliefs we have nourished and fed over the years; for they have become the dirty filters through which we experience life.  

It takes patience and time. The journey of self-transformation and cultivating a loving perspective towards ourselves is not a destination but a continuous path of growth. It’s about carving a new road, not patching a pothole. It’s about sustainability and it’s about living life rather than running away from- or resisting – life.

Closing Thoughts: A journey I’ve dedicated myself to for over 15 years, it’s an onion, continuing to reveal layers of potential, opportunity and boundless love. But in staying committed I know, and have seen too many times to count, that by choosing to really LOVE ourselves, we can indeed change the way we look at things - and in changing our perspectives, we dramatically reshape the world.

And as a peaceful word MUST start within, so too must a joyful, loving world. It MUST begin within.

Join me in this conversation. Share your moments of transformation and how self-compassion has reshaped your view of the world.

And know that if you feel called to dig deeper and want a partner by your side, that’s exactly what I am here for. 🌱 Reach out, book a call, let's connect.

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Season of Reflection, Joy & Growth 🍁

As December unfolds, the world around us glitters with twinkling lights, echoing laughter, and shared moments of joy. And while the festive spirit is palpable, there's another energy that December carries — one of reflection, transition, and growth.

Earlier this year, we delved deep into understanding the nuances of Imposter Syndrome, discerning judgment from discernment, rumination, and the peaks and valleys of stress. As we round the corner into December, I want to invite you to use the insights from our past exchanges as tools for navigating this special season.

✨A Mindful Pause✨

Remember our chat on rumination? From packed schedules filed with festivities travel plans and year-end deadlines, it's easy to get trapped in a whirlwind of thoughts and what feels like must-do lists. Whenever you catch yourself spiraling or getting caught-up in the mental mayhem, take a mindful pause. Feel the ground beneath your feet, tune into your breath, and reconnect with the present moment.

❄️Judgment vs. Discernment❄️

During this season, as families gather, old patterns can be quick to resurface, sometimes leading to judgments. It's an opportune time to revisit our October exchange: discernment simply views facts without emotional baggage, while judgment divides. Before making a quick judgment, pause, and practice discernment. This will not only enhance your personal well-being but also foster deeper connections with loved ones.

🎁Gift Yourself the Gift of Growth🎁

While this season is about giving to others, it's equally important to gift yourself. No, I'm not talking about that trendy gadget or designer wear. I'm hinting at something far more precious: a deep connection with + truly meeting yourself and your potential, beyond barriers and unconscious limits and way past what you imagine possible

As we close this chapter and prepare for a new year, imagine the power of gifting yourself a spot in the Radical Mindful Leadership Accelerator. It's more than just a program. It's a journey of deep connection, of self-discovery, empowerment, and lasting transformation alongside other amazing leaders.

It's about ensuring that your 2024 aligns more authentically with who you truly are and the you, you are ready to step into.

🌟Laying the Foundation for the Grand Finale🌟

In the spirit of building on our past newsletters, next month we'll be wrapping up the year with a grand finale – focusing on setting intentions and dreams for 2024. But before we jump ahead, savor December. Let's be present in each moment, cherish every connection, and anticipate the magic that lies ahead.

To a mindful, joyous, and December!

The Critical Distinction Between Judgement and Discernment - And Why It’s Essential For Your Leadership

Did you know that the difference between Judgement and Discernment is HUGE, critical - AND it’s life and leadership transforming?? 👇

Discernment simply looks at the facts: what works, what won't, and can be a bridge to curiosity to look at how to navigate complex situations. It lacks the emotional baggage judgment carries.

Judgment, on the other hand, creates divides, within ourselves and others. It’s black and white, leaves no room for curiosity, and can stir self-righteousness, can make us (kinda) feel better about ourselves.. Or even really feel better about ourselves.

For example: discernment says “maybe my boss is overstressed, and scared herself and has not learned how to manage it well” Judgment on the other hand says “My boss has the emotional intelligence of a second grade squirrel.”

But again, it creates divides…

… and then when we direct it at ourselves, Ooph! That is a whole other talk and conversation - but it is worse than our worst critic.

… And judgment makes it really difficult to relate, communicate, collaborate, resolve issues, never mind innovate - and come up with out-of-the box solutions when it's most needed.

BUT as you start to leverage discernment, it begins to rewire habitual reactions - shifts your state of mind - which shifts your actions, interactions and ultimately the results that you get.

Where could you leverage a bit of discernment? It’s your game-changer.

If you are ready to embrace this game-changer, and not just understand but truly embody this difference, and want to connect for 1:1 coaching or corporate workshops, keynotes and trainings, reach out, let’s connect.

Catapult Your Leadership Now: 5 Reasons Why Mindfulness Is The Mother Of All Leadership Skills

Originally published on Forbes.com

Each year billions of dollars are spent on developing professional women. There are scores of trainings on how to better communicate, be more agile, how to listen, be a better mentor, more creative, less reactive, visionary… the list drones on. 

It's enough to make one's head spin. 

The skillsets needed today are unlike those championed decades ago: a new era of Leadership is not only emerging but compulsory. No longer will we (or do we) celebrate and promote the dictatorial, hard-ass leader who generates their power in threats and aggressive backlashes.

Instead, the visionary, the strategic thinker, the listener and the collaborator, the female executive who weighs the balance of short-term gain with long term needs rises to the fore. The woman who understands that as they lead, their decisions impact a greater whole, namely the communities to which they are connected, is followed. And while all these skills can be taught, there is one practice that underlies all. The secret, The Mother of accelerators, if you will: Mindfulness.  

As defined by Jon Kabat-Zinn, Mindfulness is “the awareness that arises from paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally."

Meditation is one of the most powerful ways to foster Mindfulness. Contrary to popular misconception, Meditation is not about clearing the mind. 

The nature of the mind is to wander, to have thoughts. No matter how often you meditate, the mind will wander, and thoughts will surface: it's what the mind does, even if you are the Dalai Lama. The power lies in training a new response to, and awareness of, the wandering. 

Meditation is equal parts about habituation the mind back to the present moment, as it is, noticing when, and to where, the mind wanders and with compassion (nonjudgmentally), bringing it back to the present moment. These essential aspects of the practice serve as the backbone to nearly every Leadership skill women need to thrive.

Here's a peek at why Mindfulness is the Mother of all Leadership Skills.

1. Mindfulness Fosters Intentionality. In Meditation, the exercise is to habituate the mind back to the present moment, or back to an object of focus, again, and again, and again. That training builds the neuro muscle so that when our mind wanders or when our attention gets jerked away, in life and the boardroom, we can more easily refocus. In meetings, it's natural to get caught up in our thoughts, critical points, or the impending presentation, detracting from fully hearing emerging specifics that might require a change in approach. This fostering of intentionality enables us to be with what is, instead of what we "think" is present. 
   

2. Mindfulness Mitigates Reactive Tendencies – Reactive tendencies are significant inhibitors of effective Leadership. Some leaders lash out, others shut down, while some "go along to get along." When we react, it is as though our brains have been yanked into a state of fear or anger, undermining our ability to respond thoughtfully. When we have developed the skill to notice, without judgment but with discernment, where our mind is, and the state it is in, we are more likely to pause. That pause enables us to respond purposefully and intentionally chose the next best course of action. Ultimately, that pause not only influences the response, but also how it is delivered. As the adage goes, often, "it's not only what you say, but how you say it."
   

3. Mindfulness Cultivates Creativity: as we step out of our reactive tendencies, often propelled by anxiety and fear, it opens up space to create and innovate. Studies show that when fear and anxiety override the brain, it's as though it's an orchestra gone wrong, you can only hear the out of tune violin and trombone. It's nearly impossible to hear anything else, never mind allow creative insight to arise. Meditation not only enables us to acknowledge our reactive desires and choose a different action or focus, but it also allows us to hear the rest of the symphony and the space between the notes. It is always in that space that insight arises.
   

4. Mindfulness Facilitates Broader Perspective: As the practice becomes more habitual, it inherently builds greater awareness. The act of noticing that the mind has wandered, without judgment, but with full awareness, enables access to more information about ourselves, our tendencies, and the present moment. This expanded perspective in turn fosters enhanced discernment. As researched by the leading thought leaders of The Leadership Circle, core Leadership Competencies of Strategic Focus and Systems Thinker require these skills.
   

5. Mindfulness increases Emotional Intelligence (EI or EQ): The previous school of thought was that there was no room for emotions in the workspace. Now, research and case studies show that EQ is critical for great Leadership. Meditation increases EQ through enhancing the ability to pause and check-in before choosing a response, as well as through the development of consistent, nonjudgmental awareness. Both of these skills foster EQ's key components, including Self-Awareness, Empathy, Self-Regulation & Social Aptitude. fMRI scans of the brain further support this claim, as these scans show that Meditation directly increases the activity in areas of the brain related to Empathy and Compassion (EQ).

Through a surge in research, including Harvard Studies,  we now know that with only eight weeks, Meditation can rewire and build areas of the brain not just related to empathy and compassion, but also to memory and learning, and rewire areas related to stress. But just like the gym, it is a practice that needs consistency. A response is often "I don't have the time," but it can start with a mere minute. Though the benefits are extensive in the leadership realm, a mindful practice impacts all spheres of life. Mindfulness truly is The Mother, the great support, the compassionate listener, the teacher of all critical Leadership, and ultimately life, skills. You can't afford not to take the time.