Moment, 1 Time, Never Again

Ichigo Ichie: One Moment, One Time, Never Again

I recently returned from two weeks in Japan—first in Nozawa Onsen, a small farming and ski village where the way of life is simple, deeply connected, and slow—before exploring the rich culture in Kyoto and Tokyo.

I had originally gone for the cherry blossoms. The adventure. The beauty of Japan in spring.

But serendipitously, a friend forwarded me a yoga and meditation retreat to weave into the journey—and then to top it off, the gift of having my mother join me made it all the more precious.

I began the trip with the intention of slowing down, cultivating stillness, savoring, but what I came back with was much deeper.

There’s a Japanese phrase that echoed through every part of my trip: Ichigo Ichie.

"One moment, one time. Never again."

 This is far more than a poetic sentiment. It’s a way of seeing the world—of honoring each moment as singular, sacred, and unrepeatable.

This moment, right now, will never happen again.

The Moment That Will Never Come Again

In Nozawa, we wandered cobblestone streets and soaked in the healing warmth of the hot springs, surrounded by snow-dusted rooftops and a silence that felt ancient.

One day, we visited the rare snow monkeys—who live and bathe in the onsens (natural healing hot springs). We stood watching them, wild and free, the snow embracing all of us around us.

 I looked over at my mother—this woman I’ve shared so much life with—and felt it.

 This moment.

This version of us.

The ease. The laughter. The unspoken knowing.

 It would never happen again.

And for a long time, I think I would’ve resisted that truth.

Not because it wasn’t beautiful—but because naming it felt like inviting in the ache of its passing.

As if acknowledging its impermanence might somehow shorten it.

 But I know now:

That fear doesn’t protect us.

It robs us.

It keeps us just far enough away from the moment that we don’t fully let it in.

 We think we’re avoiding pain, but what we’re really doing is missing life.

 So now, I let myself feel it all.

The wonder. The fleeting, breathtaking sacredness of now.

 Because that’s how we live it—fully, completely, and wholeheartedly.

The Cost of Constant Doing

And yet—there’s another way we miss.

Not out of malice.

But out of momentum.

We move at lightning speed—getting things done, making things happen, keeping up. We chase after the next win, the next email, the next item on the to-do list.

And while there is nothing wrong with striving, or achieving, or being ambitious...

When our identity becomes wrapped in output—

When our worth gets tied to how fast or how much we can do—

We quietly trade presence for productivity.

And in doing so, we lose the thread of ourselves.

We Forget How to Feel

In all that speed, we forget how to feel.

We override the signals.

We suppress the stirrings.

We shut down the parts of ourselves that need to rest, to grieve, to soften.

 We fear that slowing down will derail us—

That turning toward the emotion might flood us,

Or worse… stall our momentum.

 But what if it’s the very thing that brings us back?

 Because when we skip the processing, we clog the inner channels that allow life to flow.

 Beauty. Wonder. Insight. Joy.

 We fill our calendars—but hollow out our lives.

Reflection: What Are You Holding Onto?

Lately I’ve been asking myself:

✨ What am I doing because it once served me, but no longer does?

✨ What am I clinging to—out of fear, not truth?

✨ What parts of me are longing to be felt, held, honored… before they slip away unnoticed?

The Sacred Moment of “Is This It?”

I’ve worked with hundreds of leaders and entrepreneurs who are at the top of their game, yet quietly asking the same question:

“Is this it?”

That moment—of asking, of wondering—is sacred.

Because it’s the beginning of remembering. The moment we realize the life we’ve built may not reflect the life we want to live.

It’s not a dead end—it’s a doorway.

A doorway into self-inquiry.

Into deeper listening.

Into the tenderness of being human.

The Beginning of Returning

It’s the moment we get to bring fierce curiosity and compassion to ourselves.

To notice our pulls. Our cravings.

To honor the things that delight us, teach us, stir us.

But if we are moving too fast, we miss them.

We miss the signs. The whispers. The magic that beckons.

So today, I’m slowing down. Again.

And I’m inviting you to do the same.

Turn Inward

These aren’t just prompts. They’re invitations to return to yourself.

💡 What part of your life are you rushing past?

💡 What’s one moment today you could treat as sacred?

💡 If this exact moment would never come again—how would you meet it?

Let that be your anchor.

Let that be your reset.

Let that be the doorway back to presence.

A Space to Practice Presence—Together

This is why I created Calm & Connect.

A space to pause.

To reconnect.

To gently unhook from what no longer serves, and return to what’s real.

🌿 Calm & Connect. Sunday, May 18th.

And if you're a leader ready to bring this work into your organization—through keynotes, workshops, or weekly mindfulness sessions—this is the work I’ve done for over a decade.

 Helping high performers slow down enough to come alive again.

Helping organizations become more human.

 🔗 Join Calm & Connect

🔗 Explore 1:1 Coaching or Corporate Support

Returning to Love: A Practice for Complex Times

Sometimes a single sentence doesn’t just change how you see the world—it changes how you meet it.

 For me, one of those sentences came from Reverend Gregory Boyle:

 “Compassion is not about judgment for how someone carries their burden. It’s about standing in awe that they are carrying it at all.”

 (If you’ve never read Tattoos on the Heart—his stunning book about compassion in action—I can’t recommend it enough. It's a book that doesn’t just open your mind; it bursts your heart wide open.)

 Boyle, a Jesuit priest who has spent decades working with gang members in East LA, is often seen as a living embodiment of radical compassion. His work is gritty, raw, real—and filled with extraordinary love.

 And yet, he too is human.

 In a recent conversation about compassion, someone suggested that Reverend Boyle must have an immense amount of self-love to do the work he does.

 That would make sense. But I believe the truth is simpler.

 He has a practice.

A commitment.

A path that returns him—over and over again—to love

Just like the mind of a monk wanders in meditation (because yes, it does), Boyle’s compassion isn’t constant because he’s perfect. It’s constant because he returns to it. Again and again.

And that’s the invitation for all of us.

When We Judge Ourselves, It’s Hard Not to Judge Others

In that same conversation, we reflected on how the more self-affliction we carry—the louder our inner critic—the harder it can be to extend compassion outward.

Because how can we meet others with tenderness when we’re living under a constant barrage of self-blame, judgment, and perfectionism?

 That inner voice—the quietest and yet loudest voice all at once—can be the hardest one to drown out.

 But here’s the thing: we don’t have to drown it. We simply have to notice it.

And return.

Again and again, to something deeper.

Seeing Ourselves in Others

Pema Chödrön writes, “The truest measure of compassion is not our service to those on the margins, but our willingness to see ourselves in them.”

Not from each other.
Not from their struggles.
Not from their humanity.

Because the truth is—every one of us carries fear.
Fear of not being seen. Fear of not being valued.
Fear that we might be forgotten, misunderstood, or left behind.

And when that fear goes unacknowledged, it can harden.
It can turn into distance. Into judgment.
Into forgetting that behind every opinion, every action, every face—there is a story we do not fully know.

But underneath the noise—
Underneath the differences, the assumptions, the rush to defend or divide—
There are still beating hearts.
There are still people carrying burdens we cannot see.

What if our work—no matter our faith, background, or beliefs—is to return to the part of us that remembers that?

The part that sees with softness.
The part that chooses love.
The part that knows:

None of us are untouched.
And none of us are truly alone.

Practice to Return to Love

This week, try this:

✨ When you feel triggered by someone’s behavior, pause.

✨ Take one breath. Feel your feet on the ground. And silently ask yourself: “What burden might they be carrying that I can’t see?”

✨ And then, if you can, extend the same question inward: “What burden am I carrying that needs compassion right now?”

Compassion is not a trait we have or don’t. It’s a practice we return to.

And the more we return to it for ourselves, the easier it becomes to extend it to others.

A Space to Practice Presence—Together

In a world full of judgment, reactivity, and separation—we need places to return to love.

 This is why I created Calm & Connect.

 It’s not just about stress relief.

It’s about creating a space to remember who we are—and how we want to meet each other.

 To listen, breathe, and return.

🌿 Join us this Sunday, May 4th.

And if you're a leader ready to bring this work into your organization—through keynotes, workshops, or weekly mindfulness sessions—this is the work I’ve done for over a decade.

Helping high performers slow down enough to come alive again.

Helping organizations become more human.

🔗 Join Calm & Connect

🔗 Explore 1:1 Coaching or Corporate Support

What needs to die—so you can fully live? 🌱

Recently, while co-facilitating an Entrepreneurs’ Organization Retreat in Mexico, my co-facilitator Jesús shared a practice that struck me deep in my core:

 "Every night, I choose to die… it’s not easy, but I let my ego, my known 'self' die, and I wake up each day, ready to be reborn."

 At first, I just listened.

Then, the weight of it settled in.

 What would it mean to let the parts of ourselves that no longer serve us die each night?

What would it look like to wake up lighter, freer, untethered to old fears and patterns…or even identities we work so hard to justify and defend?

I kept coming back to this:

So much of what keeps us from fully living isn’t what’s happening around us—it’s what we’re unwilling to release.

And when I did, something shifted:

✨ The fear loosened its grip—but it didn’t leave.
✨ Instead, it sharpened my awareness. Made every moment richer, brighter, more alive.
✨ It made me stop waiting for life to happen—and start choosing it, now.
✨ It made me ask: What am I still holding onto that’s keeping me from fully living?

And I don’t think I’m alone in this.

Most of us are gripping onto something—whether we realize it or not.

A belief. A fear. An identity we’ve outgrown.

Maybe for you, it’s…

💭 "I am someone who always struggles."
💭 "Who I am is not enough."
💭 "I can’t let this go—what if I lose everything?"

But what if you let that version of yourself die?

Not all at once. Not forcefully.
But gently, like an exhale. Like an old weight slipping off your shoulders.

What if, every night, you laid down your fears—so that every morning, you could wake up as something more?

There’s something fascinating about oyster farming in New Zealand.

Long lines are dropped into the ocean, and oysters—tiny, free, unanchored—attach themselves.

They grow there. They harden there.
And eventually, they are farmed and harvested.

But what they don’t realize is—they could let go.

They could release themselves into the open ocean, into movement, into life.
But they don’t.

And neither do we.

We grip onto what we know, even when it keeps us small, stuck, afraid.
We hold onto who we were, even when it keeps us from becoming who we could be.
We forget that we have the power to unhook—to step into something bigger, freer, more expansive.

So, I’ll ask you:

👉 Where are you holding on so tightly that it’s keeping you from fully living?

Scarcity: The Fear That’s Hard to Release

For me, scarcity is something I have had to unhook from again and again.

I grew up hearing: 

"We may have this today—but we may not be able to tomorrow."

It was meant to teach me gratitude.
Instead, it wired me for anxiety, control, and the fear of not having enough.

And I don’t think I’m alone in this.

Scarcity doesn’t just show up around money.

For some, it’s about Love. Stability. Security. Worth.

It’s the quiet belief that whispers:
"I must hold on. I must play it safe. I must grip tighter—because what if I lose everything?"

And yet, here’s what I know:

The more we hold on in fear, the more we lose in presence.

It’s like an app running in the background, draining energy we don’t even realize we’re spending. And unless we consciously shut it down, compassionately close it out—it keeps pulling us away from life.

What Needs to Die—So You Can Fully Live?

I’ll be honest: This is a daily practice.

I don’t do it perfectly. I get stuck, I forget, I grip too tightly.
But there’s a whisper in me that always nudges me back to presence.

And so today, I’m pausing.

To ask myself:

✨ What am I gripping too tightly?
✨ What am I afraid to release?
✨ What belief, pattern, or identity am I willing to let die—so I can fully live?

And I invite you to do the same.

A Space to Explore This Together

I believe in making space for these conversations.

For pausing.
For sitting with the unknown instead of avoiding it.
For letting ourselves ask the hard questions, so we don’t sleepwalk through life.

And that’s why I created Calm & Connect.

A space for stillness. For noticing.
For letting go of what doesn’t serve us—and choosing what does.

If this resonates, come sit with me.

🌿 Join us in Calm & Connect.

💡 Looking for deeper work?
Let’s explore 1:1 coaching or an upcoming retreat.

🔗 Click Here to Learn More & Join the Conversation

Your Mind's Worst Trick—And How to Stop It 🙌

When was the last time your mind took you somewhere you didn’t want to go?

It was one of those rare, sun-filled NYC days. The kind of day we all live for… The kind that either demands an unnecessary urgent work errand just to get outside—or turns an ordinary weekend into something magical. But instead of soaking in the moment, I was somewhere else completely, lost…drowning in the mayhem of my own mind.  

I was spiraling through everything at once:

🔹 The never-ending to-do list.

🔹 My grandmother’s cancer.

🔹 My dad’s terminal diagnosis.

🔹 The tens of millions worth of jewels stuck in Qatar’s customs under my charge.

Suddenly, before I knew it, I was back in Qatar—arguing with customs agents, my voice rising, my heart pounding. Then, somehow, I was being hauled off to jail, panic flooding my system as I feared I’d never see my father again.

✨ But here’s the thing…

I wasn’t in Qatar.
I wasn’t in jail….

I was still standing on a sunny NYC street, completely hijacked by my own mind.

My brain had taken a full-blown trip—dragging my body and a suitcase full of stress chemicals along with it. Because here’s the truth:

At that moment, my body was experiencing it all as if it were real. My cortisol and adrenaline were flooding my system. My breath was shallow. And while my brain was trying to prepare me for the worst, I wasn’t just thinking about it—I was living it.

And for what?

Not only was I suffering through a disaster that hadn’t happened (and never would), but I was also:
🤯 Debilitating any ability to think clearly or rationally.
😰 Completely destroying the moment in front of me.

And this wasn’t just an isolated incident. This was how I lived.

Every hammer my boss could drop? I lived it. Not once, not twice—more like 20,000 times. Meanwhile, in reality? They happened, but far from the frequency, I experienced it. 

Sounds Familiar?

I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this 😉 (Or maybe I am? 😅)

🌿 When was the last time your mind took you somewhere you didn’t want to go?
🌱 What stressors do you amplify in your mind that haven’t even happened yet?
✨ How might your day, your week, or your life change if you could redirect your mind toward clarity and peace?

Here’s what I know now: We don’t just suffer when something actually goes wrong. We suffer every time we relive it in our heads—before, during, and long after it’s passed.  Our minds are wired to scan for danger—they do this brilliantly.

But here’s the best part: we can work with our minds.

It takes practice. It’s our job to take the reins, to remind them what’s real, and to train them to come back to the present.

Bottom line?

You can train your mind. You can break the cycle. You can stop reliving disasters that never happen—and start taking back control.

How?

1. Join Calm & Connect. (the best part? It's Free!) 🌿 

A space to pause, breathe, and retrain your mind to return to the present—so you can lead, live, and create from clarity instead of chaos.

📅 Next Session: Sunday, February 23rd at 10 AM CT

2. Dig deeper. I work 1:1 with heart-centered individuals, founders, leaders and high-achievers who are ready to shift their relationship with stress. Those who are ready to not just to feel better, but to think better, live better, and if appropriate, lead better. If you’re ready to step into a new way of leading and living, let’s talk.

Join a session or reach out to explore 1:1 coaching. Because peace isn’t just a concept—it’s a skill you can build.

Together, we can create space for peace, clarity, and impact. ✨

P.S. What’s one way you bring yourself back to the present when your mind runs away? Drop a comment—I’d love to hear. 💬

Season of Reflection, Joy & Growth 🍁

As December unfolds, the world around us glitters with twinkling lights, echoing laughter, and shared moments of joy. And while the festive spirit is palpable, there's another energy that December carries — one of reflection, transition, and growth.

Earlier this year, we delved deep into understanding the nuances of Imposter Syndrome, discerning judgment from discernment, rumination, and the peaks and valleys of stress. As we round the corner into December, I want to invite you to use the insights from our past exchanges as tools for navigating this special season.

✨A Mindful Pause✨

Remember our chat on rumination? From packed schedules filed with festivities travel plans and year-end deadlines, it's easy to get trapped in a whirlwind of thoughts and what feels like must-do lists. Whenever you catch yourself spiraling or getting caught-up in the mental mayhem, take a mindful pause. Feel the ground beneath your feet, tune into your breath, and reconnect with the present moment.

❄️Judgment vs. Discernment❄️

During this season, as families gather, old patterns can be quick to resurface, sometimes leading to judgments. It's an opportune time to revisit our October exchange: discernment simply views facts without emotional baggage, while judgment divides. Before making a quick judgment, pause, and practice discernment. This will not only enhance your personal well-being but also foster deeper connections with loved ones.

🎁Gift Yourself the Gift of Growth🎁

While this season is about giving to others, it's equally important to gift yourself. No, I'm not talking about that trendy gadget or designer wear. I'm hinting at something far more precious: a deep connection with + truly meeting yourself and your potential, beyond barriers and unconscious limits and way past what you imagine possible

As we close this chapter and prepare for a new year, imagine the power of gifting yourself a spot in the Radical Mindful Leadership Accelerator. It's more than just a program. It's a journey of deep connection, of self-discovery, empowerment, and lasting transformation alongside other amazing leaders.

It's about ensuring that your 2024 aligns more authentically with who you truly are and the you, you are ready to step into.

🌟Laying the Foundation for the Grand Finale🌟

In the spirit of building on our past newsletters, next month we'll be wrapping up the year with a grand finale – focusing on setting intentions and dreams for 2024. But before we jump ahead, savor December. Let's be present in each moment, cherish every connection, and anticipate the magic that lies ahead.

To a mindful, joyous, and December!

Catapult Your Leadership Now: 5 Reasons Why Mindfulness Is The Mother Of All Leadership Skills

Originally published on Forbes.com

Each year billions of dollars are spent on developing professional women. There are scores of trainings on how to better communicate, be more agile, how to listen, be a better mentor, more creative, less reactive, visionary… the list drones on. 

It's enough to make one's head spin. 

The skillsets needed today are unlike those championed decades ago: a new era of Leadership is not only emerging but compulsory. No longer will we (or do we) celebrate and promote the dictatorial, hard-ass leader who generates their power in threats and aggressive backlashes.

Instead, the visionary, the strategic thinker, the listener and the collaborator, the female executive who weighs the balance of short-term gain with long term needs rises to the fore. The woman who understands that as they lead, their decisions impact a greater whole, namely the communities to which they are connected, is followed. And while all these skills can be taught, there is one practice that underlies all. The secret, The Mother of accelerators, if you will: Mindfulness.  

As defined by Jon Kabat-Zinn, Mindfulness is “the awareness that arises from paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally."

Meditation is one of the most powerful ways to foster Mindfulness. Contrary to popular misconception, Meditation is not about clearing the mind. 

The nature of the mind is to wander, to have thoughts. No matter how often you meditate, the mind will wander, and thoughts will surface: it's what the mind does, even if you are the Dalai Lama. The power lies in training a new response to, and awareness of, the wandering. 

Meditation is equal parts about habituation the mind back to the present moment, as it is, noticing when, and to where, the mind wanders and with compassion (nonjudgmentally), bringing it back to the present moment. These essential aspects of the practice serve as the backbone to nearly every Leadership skill women need to thrive.

Here's a peek at why Mindfulness is the Mother of all Leadership Skills.

1. Mindfulness Fosters Intentionality. In Meditation, the exercise is to habituate the mind back to the present moment, or back to an object of focus, again, and again, and again. That training builds the neuro muscle so that when our mind wanders or when our attention gets jerked away, in life and the boardroom, we can more easily refocus. In meetings, it's natural to get caught up in our thoughts, critical points, or the impending presentation, detracting from fully hearing emerging specifics that might require a change in approach. This fostering of intentionality enables us to be with what is, instead of what we "think" is present. 
   

2. Mindfulness Mitigates Reactive Tendencies – Reactive tendencies are significant inhibitors of effective Leadership. Some leaders lash out, others shut down, while some "go along to get along." When we react, it is as though our brains have been yanked into a state of fear or anger, undermining our ability to respond thoughtfully. When we have developed the skill to notice, without judgment but with discernment, where our mind is, and the state it is in, we are more likely to pause. That pause enables us to respond purposefully and intentionally chose the next best course of action. Ultimately, that pause not only influences the response, but also how it is delivered. As the adage goes, often, "it's not only what you say, but how you say it."
   

3. Mindfulness Cultivates Creativity: as we step out of our reactive tendencies, often propelled by anxiety and fear, it opens up space to create and innovate. Studies show that when fear and anxiety override the brain, it's as though it's an orchestra gone wrong, you can only hear the out of tune violin and trombone. It's nearly impossible to hear anything else, never mind allow creative insight to arise. Meditation not only enables us to acknowledge our reactive desires and choose a different action or focus, but it also allows us to hear the rest of the symphony and the space between the notes. It is always in that space that insight arises.
   

4. Mindfulness Facilitates Broader Perspective: As the practice becomes more habitual, it inherently builds greater awareness. The act of noticing that the mind has wandered, without judgment, but with full awareness, enables access to more information about ourselves, our tendencies, and the present moment. This expanded perspective in turn fosters enhanced discernment. As researched by the leading thought leaders of The Leadership Circle, core Leadership Competencies of Strategic Focus and Systems Thinker require these skills.
   

5. Mindfulness increases Emotional Intelligence (EI or EQ): The previous school of thought was that there was no room for emotions in the workspace. Now, research and case studies show that EQ is critical for great Leadership. Meditation increases EQ through enhancing the ability to pause and check-in before choosing a response, as well as through the development of consistent, nonjudgmental awareness. Both of these skills foster EQ's key components, including Self-Awareness, Empathy, Self-Regulation & Social Aptitude. fMRI scans of the brain further support this claim, as these scans show that Meditation directly increases the activity in areas of the brain related to Empathy and Compassion (EQ).

Through a surge in research, including Harvard Studies,  we now know that with only eight weeks, Meditation can rewire and build areas of the brain not just related to empathy and compassion, but also to memory and learning, and rewire areas related to stress. But just like the gym, it is a practice that needs consistency. A response is often "I don't have the time," but it can start with a mere minute. Though the benefits are extensive in the leadership realm, a mindful practice impacts all spheres of life. Mindfulness truly is The Mother, the great support, the compassionate listener, the teacher of all critical Leadership, and ultimately life, skills. You can't afford not to take the time.