You Can’t Stop the Waves–But You Can Remember What’s Beneath Them
Life will bring waves. Emotions will rise. Change will crash. But there’s always a current of calm. And we forget that at our own expense.
There’s a quote I return to often–especially when life feels full, fast, or just plain hard:
“You can’t stop the waves. But you can learn to surf.” –Jon Kabat-Zinn
Lately, I’ve been adding a quiet postscript of my own: “And you can also remember the stillness beneath.”
Because here’s what I know–both in my life and in my work with leaders navigating pressure, change, and uncertainty:
Life will bring waves. Emotions will rise. Change will crash.
But there’s always a current of calm.
And we forget that at our own expense.
Sometimes, it’s not about finding the perfect still moment–but simply remembering it’s there.
Even in motion. Even in complexity. Even when it feels just out of reach.
Sometimes, it’s as simple as a single breath.
Stillness, I’ve learned, isn’t passive.
It’s not stagnation.
It’s presence. Discernment. Deep-rooted clarity.
It's the ability to pause in a world that rewards urgency.
And it's the capacity to remember yourself–and the values you want to lead with–before reacting to the noise.
It’s the part of us that doesn’t flinch at the swell–because it remembers:
This, too, is movement. And this, too, will pass.
In coaching sessions, leadership trainings, and meditations at Calm & Connect, I’ve seen this truth land again and again:
Sometimes, life and leadership are about surfing–knowing when to move, when to pivot, when to ride the momentum.
Other times, it’s about dropping beneath the surface–refusing to be pulled by urgency and anchoring into something quieter, wiser, more enduring.
The magic is–they’re not opposites.
The ability to surf well often comes from knowing the stillness.
And the ability to be still comes from having surfed enough to trust:
I can ride this, too.
Questions to Reflect On:
When was the last time you let yourself truly be still? What did it reveal?
What part of you wants to rush right now—and what might happen if you didn’t?
Can you recognize when you’re paddling too hard—and give yourself permission to float?
In a world that prizes speed, complexity, and constant forward motion, this is leadership:
The courage to pause.
The ability to discern.
The wisdom to act–not from urgency, but from truth.
I created Calm & Connect for this kind of remembering.
And I weave it into every keynote, every retreat, every training room I step into.
Because no matter how ambitious the goal–none of us can lead clearly from a stormed-out nervous system.
So if you’re navigating waves of your own, here’s your reminder:
The storm isn’t all there is.
Stillness is always available.
And the more we return to it, the more clearly we lead.
🌿 Calm & Connect. Sunday, June 15th.
And if you're a leader ready to bring this work into your organization– keynotes, workshops, or weekly mindfulness sessions–this is the work I’ve done for over a decade.
Helping high performers slow down enough to come alive again.
Helping organizations become more human.
The Work We All Avoid… But That Changes Everything
Meditation and mindfulness have given me the ability to know: I am not my emotions. I am not my frustration. I am not my stress.
I was ready to smash mud against the wall. Maybe even break some plates. Or rip off the door handles—something, anything.
It wasn’t just frustration. It was something deeper. An agitation that felt like it had hijacked my body, dripping with fear and fury.
Have you been there? When everything and everyone irritates you, but deep down, you know—it’s not really them?
I knew that if I wasn’t careful, I’d leave a wake of destruction behind me. Even if I didn’t lash out, even if I kept my words measured, the energy alone would reverberate through my interactions, my decisions, my day.
And here’s the thing:
That anger wasn’t me.
It was a state I was in. A moment I was experiencing.
✨ Meditation and mindfulness have given me the ability to know: I am not my emotions. I am not my frustration. I am not my stress.
But that doesn’t mean ignoring it.
Our first instinct when these emotions arise? Push them down. Disown them. Hide them under productivity, numbing, distraction. But when we do that? They don’t disappear. They fester. They grow. And they carve paths of destruction—inside us and around us.
So, instead of resisting, I did what I teach. I turned toward it.
A Simple But Powerful Reset
Try it.
Just a few moments of gentle touch can:
🌿 Activate the parasympathetic nervous system (rest + digest mode).
🌱 Stimulate oxytocin (the “connection” hormone).
✨ Calm the vagus nerve, signaling safety to the brain.
💨 Allow for deeper breathing, reducing the chemical flood of stress.
And most importantly? It created space.
Space between me and the intensity of the moment.
Space to shift from, “This is happening to me” → to “Why is this here? What is this telling me?”
And the answer always varies.
Sometimes, it’s insight into what someone else is experiencing—offering me greater clarity and empathy.
Sometimes, it’s a signal that I’ve been neglecting a change I know is needed.
But always, there is insight—if I’m willing to listen.
The Hard Work of Peace
At our recent retreat, when I asked what people most wanted in their lives, the answer was overwhelmingly the same:
Peace. Internal peace.
Not more time. Not more money. Not even more success.
But here’s the truth: Peace isn’t something we find—it’s something we cultivate.
And while it’s simple, it’s not easy.
It requires:
🔥 Courage to face what’s within, even when it’s uncomfortable.
🌿 Commitment to practice, reflect, and grow—day after day.
🌱 Hard work to release old stories and build new ways of being.
And while this work is challenging, staying stuck is harder.
The choice? Choose your hard.
Let’s Cultivate Peace—Together
Join Calm & Connect – a space where we practice grounding ourselves, creating clarity, and finding calm.
📅 Next Session: Sunday, February 09, 2025 at 10 AM CST
👉 Sign Up Here
Or, if you’re an organization looking to support your teams in managing stress and creating clarity, let’s talk about The Reset Room—a transformative, multi-sensory experience designed to train the mind and reset the nervous system.
✨ Because when we master our minds, we reclaim our lives.
👉 Schedule The Alignment and Clarity Call here.
P.S. How do you bring yourself back when your mind runs away? Reply and let me know—I’d love to hear. 💬
🌀Stress isn’t the enemy—it’s the invitation.🌀
Not all stress is created equal. While some drains us, other types stretch and grow us into who we’re meant to become. The key? Learning how to engage with stress intentionally—leaning into discomfort that fuels growth while replenishing your inner reserves to avoid burnout.
Stress gets a bad rap. And honestly, I get it. It's exhausting. Overwhelming. The kind of thing we often want to step away from, push under the rug, or numb altogether.
But here's something I've come to realize: not all stress is created equal.
Yes, there's the stress that drains us—the kind we all want less of. But there's also stress that has the power to stretch us, to expand our capacity, and to help us grow into the person we're meant to become.
Recently, I came across a National Geographic article that reinforced an idea we've explored before: a life completely devoid of stress isn't actually good for us. Studies show that people with no stress are more likely to experience cognitive decline.
Why?
Because our brains thrive on novelty and challenge. The hippocampus—our brain's hub for memory and learning—loves newness. Every time we lean into something new or uncomfortable, we're feeding it, strengthening it, keeping it sharp as we age.
The question, then, isn't “How do I avoid stress?” but rather, “How do I engage with it in a way that stretches me without breaking me?”
Two Keys to Navigating Stress
Not recklessly, but with curiosity and intention.
Because sometimes, stress is an invitation to grow.
Maybe it's showing up differently with family or in-laws, evolving past those long-standing dynamics that seem stuck at age 15 (or, let's be honest, age 5🤭). Maybe it's challenging yourself to handle a work deadline with clarity rather than chaos or breaking free from that inner dialogue that drains your energy.
This doesn't mean every stressor is worth leaning into. (I'm definitely not asking you to keep your hand on a hot stove!) But discomfort that stretches us—that nudges us toward growth—is worth exploring.
This process, called interoception, takes into account how well you've slept, what you've eaten, and the emotional or physical load you're carrying.
When your “financial” reserves are low, even small stressors can feel like mountains. That's why it's so important—especially in busy seasons—to replenish your internal “bank account.”
For me, that looks like:
A daily morning meditation to start the day grounded.
Committing to physical movement, even when it's tempting to skip it.
Prioritizing 8 hours of sleep to let my body restore itself.
For you, it might mean:
Limiting inflammatory habits like extra alcohol or sugar.
Blocking off time in your calendar for rest or meaningful connection.
Building intentional pauses into your day to recalibrate before stress builds.
What will help you save and replenish your reserves this season?
This Week's Calm & Connect: Cultivating Peace Amid the Swirl
This Sunday at 11am ET, I'll be diving into these ideas in our Calm & Connect session. Together, we'll explore how to navigate stress with intention and cultivate equanimity in the midst of it all.
👉🏼 Click here to sign up
Whether you're feeling stretched thin or simply want to center yourself for the weeks ahead, I'd love to have you join us.
A Rare Opportunity to Shed the Stress Before 2025 🎉🎊🎈
I've had such a blast facilitating many incredible MCC sessions already, and the transformations have been inspiring. While so many of the sessions have been exactly what I needed, technology hasn't exactly been my friend - and let's be honest, I have had a blast doing these!
That's why I'm keeping a few more spots open. I want to submit the absolute best two sessions for my certification while seeing who else I can support!
If this has been calling to you—or if you're ready to offload stress and shed what's no longer worth carrying into 2025—this is your chance to step into clarity and possibility.
These sessions are discounted to $275 (normally $675), will be recorded (audio only!) for evaluation purposes, and securely discarded afterward. You can sign up for 1 or TWO!
👉 Click here to book your session
Let's create the space for you to show up lighter, clearer, and more aligned in the new year.
Let's Step Into Growth Together
This season, let's not just survive stress—let's engage with it in ways that stretch us, evolve us, and prepare us for what's next.
Remember: how we end this year shapes how we begin the next. Let's make it intentional.
P.S. If you're ready to dive deeper into these practices, I'm still offering two discounted MCC coaching sessions for new clients through December. Let's uncover what's possible for you. 👉 Click here to book.