You Can’t Stop the Waves–But You Can Remember What’s Beneath Them

There’s a quote I return to often–especially when life feels full, fast, or just plain hard:

“You can’t stop the waves. But you can learn to surf.” –Jon Kabat-Zinn

Lately, I’ve been adding a quiet postscript of my own: “And you can also remember the stillness beneath.”

Because here’s what I know–both in my life and in my work with leaders navigating pressure, change, and uncertainty:

Life will bring waves. Emotions will rise. Change will crash.

But there’s always a current of calm.

And we forget that at our own expense.

Sometimes, it’s not about finding the perfect still moment–but simply remembering it’s there.

Even in motion. Even in complexity. Even when it feels just out of reach.
Sometimes, it’s as simple as a single breath.

Stillness, I’ve learned, isn’t passive.

It’s not stagnation.

It’s presence. Discernment. Deep-rooted clarity.
It's the ability to pause in a world that rewards urgency.
And it's the capacity to remember yourself–and the values you want to lead with–before reacting to the noise.

It’s the part of us that doesn’t flinch at the swell–because it remembers:

This, too, is movement. And this, too, will pass.

In coaching sessions, leadership trainings, and meditations at Calm & Connect, I’ve seen this truth land again and again:

Sometimes, life and leadership are about surfing–knowing when to move, when to pivot, when to ride the momentum.

Other times, it’s about dropping beneath the surface–refusing to be pulled by urgency and anchoring into something quieter, wiser, more enduring.

The magic is–they’re not opposites.

The ability to surf well often comes from knowing the stillness.

And the ability to be still comes from having surfed enough to trust:

I can ride this, too.

Questions to Reflect On:

• When was the last time you let yourself truly be still? What did it reveal?

• What part of you wants to rush right now—and what might happen if you didn’t?

• Can you recognize when you’re paddling too hard—and give yourself permission to float?

In a world that prizes speed, complexity, and constant forward motion, this is leadership:

The courage to pause.

The ability to discern.

The wisdom to act–not from urgency, but from truth.

I created Calm & Connect for this kind of remembering.

And I weave it into every keynote, every retreat, every training room I step into.

Because no matter how ambitious the goal–none of us can lead clearly from a stormed-out nervous system.

So if you’re navigating waves of your own, here’s your reminder:

The storm isn’t all there is.

Stillness is always available.

And the more we return to it, the more clearly we lead.

🌿 Calm & Connect. Sunday, June 15th.

And if you're a leader ready to bring this work into your organization– keynotes, workshops, or weekly mindfulness sessions–this is the work I’ve done for over a decade.

Helping high performers slow down enough to come alive again.

Helping organizations become more human.

🔗 Join Calm & Connect

🔗 Explore 1:1 Coaching or Corporate Support

Spring Into Change: Unfolding New Beginnings 🌷

After a number of rather literal dark and dreary days, the sun is shining and the earth is beginning to blossom. It's a reminder of a fundamental truth often resisted: everything changes, always. This season, as we witness the world around us spring into life, it's a vivid, beautiful showcase of change's potential. Yet, this transformation doesn't happen overnight. The silent, unseen work of the preceding months lays the groundwork for the bright burst of life we celebrate in spring. This is a powerful metaphor for our own lives and endeavors.

In recent months, I've navigated through an intense landscape of change. And yet, each challenge has underscored the undeniable truth of transformation's constant presence in our lives. It has continued to remind me, fiercely and lovingly, the importance of embracing change, not as an adversary but as an inevitable partner in growth.

Resistance vs. Embrace

It's normal, human really, to resist, or planning meticulously in the face of change, trying to control what we can and clinging to the comfort of the known.  But resistance only postpones the inevitable, often amplifying the discomfort we were trying to avoid.

Spring shows us the beauty of release and the embrace of the new. Just as the earth doesn't rush its awakening, we too must learn the art of patient unfolding. The months of quiet, of seemingly nothing happening, are as crucial as the moment of bloom. They are the foundation of all that is to come.

The Complexity of Change 

Our brains are quite literally prediction machines - it's there predisposition to predict. ALWAYS. What's more, our brains seek to be right. Thus their predictions, based on past experiences, play a huge role in how we navigate the future.

While these predictions intend to guide us, they can inadvertently narrow our horizons, as we are bound by our limited experience.

Cultivation and Trust

The journey of change requires us to be cultivators—patient, trusting, vigilant. We plant seeds not knowing exactly how or when they will sprout.

This process isn't just about nurturing the projects and transformations we initiate; it's about nurturing our resilience, our faith in the unseen process of becoming.

An Invitation to Trust the Process

Today, I invite you to reflect on your relationship with change. Where might you be resisting? Where might impatience be clouding your vision? Embrace the changes unfolding in your life, nurture them with intention and care, and most importantly, trust in their eventual blossoming. Even when it's uncomfortable, even when the end result is unclear, there's a profound strength in surrendering to the process.

Change, in its essence, is not just about the new life that springs forth. It's about our growth, our evolution as we navigate the journey. Like the gardener who trusts in the seeds they've sown, we too must believe in the potential of what we're cultivating, even when it's yet to be seen.

In embracing change, nurturing our endeavors, and trusting in the process, we open ourselves to the vast possibilities of what can emerge. And just like spring, what arises might just surpass our wildest dreams.

Let's embrace this journey together, trusting in the beautiful unfoldment of our shared human experience.

Warmly,

Rachel Tenenbaum

P.S. I've felt the tremors of change deeply and vividly in recent times. If you're navigating your sea of change, remember: it's not just about weathering the storm. It's about developing the skills and learning to sail in new directions. If you are wanting support - and ready to embrace and cultivate change, reach out and let's connect - I would love to hear from you!

P.P.S - In our next conversation, we'll dive a bit deeper into the neuroscience of change ;).

P.P.S.S. Don't forget to join us for Calm & Connect - a beautiful 2x monthly opportunity to connect live, meditate and intentionally reflect on life with - and learn from - other incredible individuals. 

The Alchemy of Self: Transforming How We See Ourselves, and Therefore, the World ✨

"We do not see the world as it is, we see the world as we are." - Anais Nin

In the quiet moments of reflection, have you ever pondered over the nature of your reality? Is it a rigid, unchangeable constant, or is it something more malleable, something that shifts with the tides of our perceptions?

For me, this profound insight by Anais Nin captures the essence of our journey. It's not just about changing the scenery around us but transforming the lens through which we view life.

From Personal Experience: At some point, we all yearn for change—be it in a fleeting moment or during life's persistent trials. I have lived through thousands of such moments, both as a child and well into my adulthood, where the only voice I heard was the echo of a desire for something – or everything – to be different, myself included.

I lived in fear. Fear that I wasn’t good enough, fear that things would change – fearful that things wouldn’t change. Fear permeated my being all the way down to my bones, but it was such a constant companion, I hardly realized its influence and couldn’t imagine life otherwise.

Until it hit me, like a lightning bolt, painful, illuminating and freeing all at once, liberating me into a whole new lease on life.

The quest for happiness, contentment, or success was not about altering my essence but about embracing a new state of mind.

Iterating Out: Decades later, I have watched innumerable clients who arrive at my doorstep with the desire to change their worlds (their jobs, partners, teams, colleagues), shift their relationship with themselves, how they see and treat themselves, and ultimately, generate tectonic shifts in their worlds.

The ever-agitated CEO moved from a world against him to a world which flocked to him.

The fear-riddled entrepreneur moved from a world to be fearful of – to a world which is replete with incredible opportunities.

The inadequate manager riddled with imposter syndrome, watched as her ideas + processes became a global company’s “standard” for processes.  

To alter our outcomes, we must work with our minds; how we see ourselves. There is no other way around it.

The Shift: How do we initiate such a transformative shift?

It starts with self-compassion, recognizing and embracing ourselves wholly and completely. To commit, above all else, to treat ourselves with the kindness we would bestow upon others – those we hold most dear.

It takes courage: Courage to be willing to do things differently. Courage to be willing to look at – and then unravel the unconscious stories and beliefs we have nourished and fed over the years; for they have become the dirty filters through which we experience life.  

It takes patience and time. The journey of self-transformation and cultivating a loving perspective towards ourselves is not a destination but a continuous path of growth. It’s about carving a new road, not patching a pothole. It’s about sustainability and it’s about living life rather than running away from- or resisting – life.

Closing Thoughts: A journey I’ve dedicated myself to for over 15 years, it’s an onion, continuing to reveal layers of potential, opportunity and boundless love. But in staying committed I know, and have seen too many times to count, that by choosing to really LOVE ourselves, we can indeed change the way we look at things - and in changing our perspectives, we dramatically reshape the world.

And as a peaceful word MUST start within, so too must a joyful, loving world. It MUST begin within.

Join me in this conversation. Share your moments of transformation and how self-compassion has reshaped your view of the world.

And know that if you feel called to dig deeper and want a partner by your side, that’s exactly what I am here for. 🌱 Reach out, book a call, let's connect.

PS - Want more newsletters like this? Sign up or reach out and DM me to get on the list for our bi-monthly newsletter 

The Fascinating Micro Tool That Will Generate Monumental Shifts

Have you heard about trim tabs?

A fascinating micro tool, they create monumental shifts, and when YOU harness them, they will create radical changes for YOU 👇

As you may know, airplanes and ocean liners have rudders on the back of their engines which help the vessel pivot directions. However, what you may not know is that if those rudders tried to change direction on their own, they would break against the force of the wind or water….

BUT engineers discovered that if they place a tiny device, called a trim tab, on the back of the rudder, its seemingly nominal size can shift directions slightly.

What’s mind-blowing is that this slight, modest shift generates a sufficient counteractive force to the wind/water, enabling the rudder, and consequently the massive vessel, to change directions.

So what does this mean for you?

Where would a trim tab help you shift directions, mentally, physically, or in your leadership and career?

What are you doing to prioritize your wellbeing?

Big OR small.

Is it related to what you eat? drink? Your physical fitness routine? Your mental fitness regime?

These focuses are often relegated as an afterthought which is a detrimental oversite: what we imbibe, how we take care of our bodies, and how we take care of our minds radically influences how our brains function, and how agile they are in times of stress.

To be frank, your wellbeing is THE Foundation for EVERYTHING.

Without a solid foundation, stress levels skyrocket (already there?) interpersonal relationships and family life suffers and work deteriorates.

So where - and how - do you begin? With little, Mindful trim tabs. As the trim tab demonstrates - new habits/thoughts/priorities do not have to be huge to make a difference.

Need Ideas on how to start? I’ve compiled them in a PDF just for you.

By bringing Mindfulness to any daily routine, be it while you drive or are in a meeting, it will dramatically enhance the productivity and effectiveness of that engagement.

While wellness should never be ascribed to a single month, August, Wellness Month, is an incredible time to refocus your attention.

So what trim tab will you commit to?

Ready to dive deeper? Set up a call today to discuss how to work with me 1:1 or bring these tremendous mindful and leadership tools + insights to your organization.

A simple practice, Mindfulness built into your daily routine will generate profound, lasting benefits.

From reducing stress, anxiety and reactivity to becoming more present, engaged, more productive and overall, more content, this practice changes lives (and organizations).

The below are simple, effective ways to begin. Choose one, implement it daily for 1 week and see what happens.

Set a timer, then sit and breathe for 3-5 minutes, extending the exhale a count or two longer than your inhale.

• Notice when your mind wanders - or you feel anxious to go and “do” something, and then remind yourself, it's just a few minutes, and settle into the next deep breath.

Listen to a Meditation on Insight Timer - I’ll always recommend these ;). Whether you listen to mine or someone else’s, the platform is one of the best.

Simply be present while you cook or brush your teeth. Pay attention to the sensations, the smells and tastes. We tend to rush through these moments, not savoring or truly experiencing them.

Spend 5 minutes actively listening. Sounds simple, but many times when we listen, we are really, mostly listening to ourselves - or planning what we want to say next. A Mindful practice, when we exclusively listen and ask questions to further understand our partner/colleague’s perspective or experience, it radically changes our relationships as well as our own experience.

End meetings 5 minutes before the hour. We habitually run from one meeting or activity to the next, without pause. This quickly results in our minds being caught up in the previous engagement. When we give ourselves a moment to pause, it provides the opportunity to digest, further ideate, and then step intentionally into the next moment.