Why Silence Might Be the Most Powerful Tool You’re Not Using
In a world that never stops talking, silence can feel threatening. But over the years I’ve learned—It isn’t the absence of something. It’s the presence of everything.
In a world that never stops talking, silence can feel threatening.
But over the years I’ve learned—it’s where the real magic happens.
For years, I ran from it.
During moments of stillness, I reached for something—anything—to distract me.
Silence felt like failure.
Like stagnation.
Like something I couldn’t afford.
And if I’m being honest—it scared me.
I didn’t know what might rise up in the quiet.
What truths I might hear.
What I’d have to face if I really stopped.
So I ran.
I spun. I did everything I could…
Until I crashed.
It took years, but I finally realized:
Silence isn’t the absence of something.
It’s the presence of everything.
It’s where the whispers of our inner wisdom speak.
Where intuition nudges us gently toward what matters.
Where true insight—and peace—begin to take shape.
We’ve Forgotten How to Be With Ourselves
We’re overstimulated.
Overwhelmed.
Conditioned to fill every space.
So when things go quiet, it’s no wonder we panic.
But here’s what I’ve learned—
In my own life, and in my work with leaders:
Silence isn’t the enemy. It’s a teacher.
It gives us back our power.
It enables us space to navigate towards what's aligned—not numb.
And it opens the door to something we desperately crave:
inner steadiness.
Why Silence Is a Leadership and Life Tool:
It Creates Space for Thoughtful Response 🌀
When we pause, we make room for intention—rather than reaction.It Filters the Noise 🔍
Silence helps us hear what’s actually important. It clarifies. It distills.It Allows for Deep Integration 🪞
Sometimes, when I finish a keynote and the room is silent—I used to worry I lost them. Now I know – its when the message lands.
When the reflection begins.It Invites Innovation 💡
In my sessions with execs, we pause. We breathe.
And without fail—new questions emerge.
Ones that shift everything.It Deepens Self-Trust and Self-Love ❤️
To sit with silence is to say: I’m safe with myself.
And that changes everything.
In a world that glorifies doing—and profits off our constant noise—
silence becomes a radical act.
But it’s also a deeply restorative one.
Silence reconnects us to ourselves.
It allows us to witness the unconscious patterns and quiet narratives that shape our days—and quietly limit our lives.
It makes space for what’s been buried.
For truths we didn’t know we needed to hear.
And with practice, it becomes a source of clarity, compassion, and freedom.
Even this past weekend, I peeled back new layers.
Old patterns I didn’t realize were still running the show.
And in that noticing, something softened.
Something let go.
That’s the power of stillness.
Not because it’s easy—but because it’s honest.
If you want to practice this in community, come sit with me in Calm & Connect.
Together, we pause. We breathe. And we remember:
Stillness isn’t the absence of movement. It’s the birthplace of wisdom.
And if you're a leader ready to bring this work into your organization—through keynotes, workshops, or weekly mindfulness sessions—this is the work I’ve done for over a decade.
Helping high performers slow down enough to come alive again.
Helping organizations become more human.
P.S. A moment that reminded me why I do this work.
Three weeks ago, I had the honor of keynoting the Maine HR Conference—where we unpacked what mindfulness really is… and what it makes possible.
We explored how mindfulness isn’t about perfection.
It’s about pattern recognition.
About meeting discomfort with intention,
and leading from clarity—not chaos.
One leader came up to me after and said:
“For the first time, I actually get it.
I can take back the wheel.”
That moment meant everything.
Because when someone doesn’t just feel inspired—but empowered to shift how they lead, respond, and live—
That’s when I know I’ve done my job.
Rachel Tenenbaum speaks at the Maine HR Conference.
This wasn’t just a keynote.
It was a room full of extraordinary humans—doing hard things with full hearts,
asking better questions, and daring to do the inner work that leadership truly requires.
Returning to Love: A Practice for Complex Times
This week, I’m sharing a reflection on compassion: not as something we give, but as something we practice returning to. Inspired by Reverend Gregory Boyle and Pema Chödrön, this piece explores how self-judgment blocks our ability to connect—and how softening inward is what helps us meet others with grace.
Sometimes a single sentence doesn’t just change how you see the world—it changes how you meet it.
For me, one of those sentences came from Reverend Gregory Boyle:
“Compassion is not about judgment for how someone carries their burden. It’s about standing in awe that they are carrying it at all.”
(If you’ve never read Tattoos on the Heart—his stunning book about compassion in action—I can’t recommend it enough. It's a book that doesn’t just open your mind; it bursts your heart wide open.)
Boyle, a Jesuit priest who has spent decades working with gang members in East LA, is often seen as a living embodiment of radical compassion. His work is gritty, raw, real—and filled with extraordinary love.
And yet, he too is human.
In a recent conversation about compassion, someone suggested that Reverend Boyle must have an immense amount of self-love to do the work he does.
That would make sense. But I believe the truth is simpler.
He has a practice.
A commitment.
A path that returns him—over and over again—to love
Just like the mind of a monk wanders in meditation (because yes, it does), Boyle’s compassion isn’t constant because he’s perfect. It’s constant because he returns to it. Again and again.
And that’s the invitation for all of us.
When We Judge Ourselves, It’s Hard Not to Judge Others
In that same conversation, we reflected on how the more self-affliction we carry—the louder our inner critic—the harder it can be to extend compassion outward.
Because how can we meet others with tenderness when we’re living under a constant barrage of self-blame, judgment, and perfectionism?
That inner voice—the quietest and yet loudest voice all at once—can be the hardest one to drown out.
But here’s the thing: we don’t have to drown it. We simply have to notice it.
And return.
Again and again, to something deeper.
Seeing Ourselves in Others
Pema Chödrön writes, “The truest measure of compassion is not our service to those on the margins, but our willingness to see ourselves in them.”
Not from each other.
Not from their struggles.
Not from their humanity.
Because the truth is—every one of us carries fear.
Fear of not being seen. Fear of not being valued.
Fear that we might be forgotten, misunderstood, or left behind.
And when that fear goes unacknowledged, it can harden.
It can turn into distance. Into judgment.
Into forgetting that behind every opinion, every action, every face—there is a story we do not fully know.
But underneath the noise—
Underneath the differences, the assumptions, the rush to defend or divide—
There are still beating hearts.
There are still people carrying burdens we cannot see.
What if our work—no matter our faith, background, or beliefs—is to return to the part of us that remembers that?
The part that sees with softness.
The part that chooses love.
The part that knows:
None of us are untouched.
And none of us are truly alone.
Practice to Return to Love
This week, try this:
✨ When you feel triggered by someone’s behavior, pause.
✨ Take one breath. Feel your feet on the ground. And silently ask yourself: “What burden might they be carrying that I can’t see?”
✨ And then, if you can, extend the same question inward: “What burden am I carrying that needs compassion right now?”
Compassion is not a trait we have or don’t. It’s a practice we return to.
And the more we return to it for ourselves, the easier it becomes to extend it to others.
A Space to Practice Presence—Together
In a world full of judgment, reactivity, and separation—we need places to return to love.
This is why I created Calm & Connect.
It’s not just about stress relief.
It’s about creating a space to remember who we are—and how we want to meet each other.
To listen, breathe, and return.
🌿 Join us this Sunday, May 4th.
And if you're a leader ready to bring this work into your organization—through keynotes, workshops, or weekly mindfulness sessions—this is the work I’ve done for over a decade.
Helping high performers slow down enough to come alive again.
Helping organizations become more human.
🔗 Join Calm & Connect
🔗 Explore 1:1 Coaching or Corporate Support
Anxiety and Compassion: Learning to Work with Your Mind 🙌
Anxiety has a way of taking root in the unknown. The moment our brain senses uncertainty, it kicks into “protection mode,” imagining all the worst-case scenarios to help us prepare. But instead of helping us, it usually just paralyzes us.
Today, I want to share something about anxiety, and how, oddly enough, it's often our own compassion showing up in disguise. Anxiety has been a part of my journey, too—one that's driven me into this work of learning to befriend my own mind.
Anxiety has a way of taking root in the unknown. The moment our brain senses uncertainty, it kicks into “protection mode,” imagining all the worst-case scenarios to help us prepare. But instead of helping us, it usually just paralyzes us.
It's almost as if our brain clutches onto anxiety like a well-worn security blanket, thinking, “If I hold onto this, I'll stay safe.” The problem? That “blanket” doesn't actually keep us safe. It keeps us stuck.
This weekend, Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche helped me see anxiety in a new light. What's happening when we feel anxiety is actually compassion. Our mind wants to help, to comfort, but because it lacks clear direction, it reaches for the quick-fix—something to numb the discomfort. For some of us, it's reaching for a purchase, hiding in the pantry, a fight, or a glass of wine. But this well-meaning urge to “fix” can actually amplify the problem.
Listening to the Body's Early Warnings
One thing I've noticed—and maybe you have too—is that our body often knows anxiety is brewing before our brain even catches on. Maybe it's a quickening heart, a tightening in the chest, or that scatterbrained feeling.
Instead of checking out in that moment, what if we checked in?
For me, that shift came when I realized that anxiety shows up as my brain's way of protecting me—a relentless need to “know” an outcome in uncertain situations. Here's something fascinating: our brains are prediction machines, constantly scanning for answers to help us feel secure. They want to be “right” because accuracy kept our ancestors alive. But when we face ambiguity, our brains can spiral into worst-case scenarios, feeding anxiety instead of offering clarity.
Over the years, I've discovered tools that help me work with my mind rather than fight it. Some of these tools are exercises I teach to organizations and clients—great for building resilience—and others are quick resets for when you're on the go. One practice that's been especially invaluable lately? Pausing and connecting with curiosity and compassion.
Challenging the Anxious Brain
In the middle of a busy grocery store recently, I found myself “back in the attic” of my mind—everything felt dim and narrow, like I was on autopilot, barely noticing what I was putting in my cart.
With my scattered mind, I stopped, placed a hand over my heart, and gently rubbed it. This small, grounding gesture—taught to me by a mentor—sends a signal to the nervous system, telling it to settle down. Physical touch activates the vagus nerve, helping to calm the body, while reminding both heart and mind that it's safe to relax. Paired with a few slow, deep breaths, this act disrupts the anxiety loop just enough to create space for a shift in perspective.
After grounding myself, I posed a simple question to my brain: “What if it's better than I could ever imagine? What would that look like?” This question disrupts the anxious cycle by offering my mind something positive to consider. It's like saying to my brain, “I hear you, but let's also consider this.” This shift from “What if everything goes wrong?” to “What if things turn out beautifully?” opens up a mental space where anxiety can transform into curiosity and even hope.
The Power of Compassionate Curiosity
The beauty of this practice isn't that it erases anxiety—it transforms our relationship with it. By building a more compassionate, less reactive connection with our minds, we create space for other possibilities.
I often teach and speak on The BeAbove Leadership model called the 7 Levels of Effectiveness, which guides us from fear and frustration into courage, and ultimately, innovation. We can't expect ourselves to leap from fear to innovation in one go. But this practice offers a bridge: it allows us to step into courage, opening the door to countless possibilities and new ways to navigate what we once thought were impossible situations. Through this shift, even the most daunting moments can be reimagined, revealing unexpected paths forward.
Through this shift, even the most daunting moments can be reimagined, revealing unexpected paths forward.
Your Invitation to Pause, Connect, and Find Calm
As I step into the final stages of my journey to become a Master Certified Coach (MCC)—after thousands of hours coaching and training others—I'm thrilled to offer two discounted coaching sessions to new clients who are open to recording the sessions (audio only!) as part of my evaluation process and exam.
If you're looking to dig deeper, gain clarity, or simply reconnect with a sense of calm, I'd be honored to support you. This is for a very limited time and only available to a few individuals.
Have Questions? Simply reply to this email or contact her at 404-840-2238.
Alternatively - ready to dig in?!? Grab your spot here!
AND if you're searching for a supportive space to navigate this season with curiosity and clarity, join me for our free Calm & Connect sessions. This week, our session time has shifted to 10am ET (from 11am ET), and I'd LOVE for you to join us. Together, we'll practice grounding ourselves, connecting with compassion, and finding clarity amid the chaos.
Wishing you ease, curiosity, and peace, wherever you are.
P.S. You have permission to take a pause, just like you would offer to someone else in need. Let's give that gift to ourselves, too.
The Alchemy of Self: Transforming How We See Ourselves, and Therefore, the World ✨
"Our states of mind and our states of being dictate our thoughts, which drive our actions, and ultimately sculpt the reality we experience."
"We do not see the world as it is, we see the world as we are." - Anais Nin
In the quiet moments of reflection, have you ever pondered over the nature of your reality? Is it a rigid, unchangeable constant, or is it something more malleable, something that shifts with the tides of our perceptions?
For me, this profound insight by Anais Nin captures the essence of our journey. It's not just about changing the scenery around us but transforming the lens through which we view life.
From Personal Experience: At some point, we all yearn for change—be it in a fleeting moment or during life's persistent trials. I have lived through thousands of such moments, both as a child and well into my adulthood, where the only voice I heard was the echo of a desire for something – or everything – to be different, myself included.
I lived in fear. Fear that I wasn’t good enough, fear that things would change – fearful that things wouldn’t change. Fear permeated my being all the way down to my bones, but it was such a constant companion, I hardly realized its influence and couldn’t imagine life otherwise.
Until it hit me, like a lightning bolt, painful, illuminating and freeing all at once, liberating me into a whole new lease on life.
The quest for happiness, contentment, or success was not about altering my essence but about embracing a new state of mind.
Iterating Out: Decades later, I have watched innumerable clients who arrive at my doorstep with the desire to change their worlds (their jobs, partners, teams, colleagues), shift their relationship with themselves, how they see and treat themselves, and ultimately, generate tectonic shifts in their worlds.
The ever-agitated CEO moved from a world against him to a world which flocked to him.
The fear-riddled entrepreneur moved from a world to be fearful of – to a world which is replete with incredible opportunities.
The inadequate manager riddled with imposter syndrome, watched as her ideas + processes became a global company’s “standard” for processes.
To alter our outcomes, we must work with our minds; how we see ourselves. There is no other way around it.
The Shift: How do we initiate such a transformative shift?
It starts with self-compassion, recognizing and embracing ourselves wholly and completely. To commit, above all else, to treat ourselves with the kindness we would bestow upon others – those we hold most dear.
It takes courage: Courage to be willing to do things differently. Courage to be willing to look at – and then unravel the unconscious stories and beliefs we have nourished and fed over the years; for they have become the dirty filters through which we experience life.
It takes patience and time. The journey of self-transformation and cultivating a loving perspective towards ourselves is not a destination but a continuous path of growth. It’s about carving a new road, not patching a pothole. It’s about sustainability and it’s about living life rather than running away from- or resisting – life.
Closing Thoughts: A journey I’ve dedicated myself to for over 15 years, it’s an onion, continuing to reveal layers of potential, opportunity and boundless love. But in staying committed I know, and have seen too many times to count, that by choosing to really LOVE ourselves, we can indeed change the way we look at things - and in changing our perspectives, we dramatically reshape the world.
And as a peaceful word MUST start within, so too must a joyful, loving world. It MUST begin within.
Join me in this conversation. Share your moments of transformation and how self-compassion has reshaped your view of the world.
And know that if you feel called to dig deeper and want a partner by your side, that’s exactly what I am here for. 🌱 Reach out, book a call, let's connect.
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