Why Silence Might Be the Most Powerful Tool You’re Not Using
In a world that never stops talking, silence can feel threatening. But over the years I’ve learned—It isn’t the absence of something. It’s the presence of everything.
In a world that never stops talking, silence can feel threatening.
But over the years I’ve learned—it’s where the real magic happens.
For years, I ran from it.
During moments of stillness, I reached for something—anything—to distract me.
Silence felt like failure.
Like stagnation.
Like something I couldn’t afford.
And if I’m being honest—it scared me.
I didn’t know what might rise up in the quiet.
What truths I might hear.
What I’d have to face if I really stopped.
So I ran.
I spun. I did everything I could…
Until I crashed.
It took years, but I finally realized:
Silence isn’t the absence of something.
It’s the presence of everything.
It’s where the whispers of our inner wisdom speak.
Where intuition nudges us gently toward what matters.
Where true insight—and peace—begin to take shape.
We’ve Forgotten How to Be With Ourselves
We’re overstimulated.
Overwhelmed.
Conditioned to fill every space.
So when things go quiet, it’s no wonder we panic.
But here’s what I’ve learned—
In my own life, and in my work with leaders:
Silence isn’t the enemy. It’s a teacher.
It gives us back our power.
It enables us space to navigate towards what's aligned—not numb.
And it opens the door to something we desperately crave:
inner steadiness.
Why Silence Is a Leadership and Life Tool:
It Creates Space for Thoughtful Response 🌀
When we pause, we make room for intention—rather than reaction.It Filters the Noise 🔍
Silence helps us hear what’s actually important. It clarifies. It distills.It Allows for Deep Integration 🪞
Sometimes, when I finish a keynote and the room is silent—I used to worry I lost them. Now I know – its when the message lands.
When the reflection begins.It Invites Innovation 💡
In my sessions with execs, we pause. We breathe.
And without fail—new questions emerge.
Ones that shift everything.It Deepens Self-Trust and Self-Love ❤️
To sit with silence is to say: I’m safe with myself.
And that changes everything.
In a world that glorifies doing—and profits off our constant noise—
silence becomes a radical act.
But it’s also a deeply restorative one.
Silence reconnects us to ourselves.
It allows us to witness the unconscious patterns and quiet narratives that shape our days—and quietly limit our lives.
It makes space for what’s been buried.
For truths we didn’t know we needed to hear.
And with practice, it becomes a source of clarity, compassion, and freedom.
Even this past weekend, I peeled back new layers.
Old patterns I didn’t realize were still running the show.
And in that noticing, something softened.
Something let go.
That’s the power of stillness.
Not because it’s easy—but because it’s honest.
If you want to practice this in community, come sit with me in Calm & Connect.
Together, we pause. We breathe. And we remember:
Stillness isn’t the absence of movement. It’s the birthplace of wisdom.
And if you're a leader ready to bring this work into your organization—through keynotes, workshops, or weekly mindfulness sessions—this is the work I’ve done for over a decade.
Helping high performers slow down enough to come alive again.
Helping organizations become more human.
P.S. A moment that reminded me why I do this work.
Three weeks ago, I had the honor of keynoting the Maine HR Conference—where we unpacked what mindfulness really is… and what it makes possible.
We explored how mindfulness isn’t about perfection.
It’s about pattern recognition.
About meeting discomfort with intention,
and leading from clarity—not chaos.
One leader came up to me after and said:
“For the first time, I actually get it.
I can take back the wheel.”
That moment meant everything.
Because when someone doesn’t just feel inspired—but empowered to shift how they lead, respond, and live—
That’s when I know I’ve done my job.
Rachel Tenenbaum speaks at the Maine HR Conference.
This wasn’t just a keynote.
It was a room full of extraordinary humans—doing hard things with full hearts,
asking better questions, and daring to do the inner work that leadership truly requires.
Returning to Love: A Practice for Complex Times
This week, I’m sharing a reflection on compassion: not as something we give, but as something we practice returning to. Inspired by Reverend Gregory Boyle and Pema Chödrön, this piece explores how self-judgment blocks our ability to connect—and how softening inward is what helps us meet others with grace.
Sometimes a single sentence doesn’t just change how you see the world—it changes how you meet it.
For me, one of those sentences came from Reverend Gregory Boyle:
“Compassion is not about judgment for how someone carries their burden. It’s about standing in awe that they are carrying it at all.”
(If you’ve never read Tattoos on the Heart—his stunning book about compassion in action—I can’t recommend it enough. It's a book that doesn’t just open your mind; it bursts your heart wide open.)
Boyle, a Jesuit priest who has spent decades working with gang members in East LA, is often seen as a living embodiment of radical compassion. His work is gritty, raw, real—and filled with extraordinary love.
And yet, he too is human.
In a recent conversation about compassion, someone suggested that Reverend Boyle must have an immense amount of self-love to do the work he does.
That would make sense. But I believe the truth is simpler.
He has a practice.
A commitment.
A path that returns him—over and over again—to love
Just like the mind of a monk wanders in meditation (because yes, it does), Boyle’s compassion isn’t constant because he’s perfect. It’s constant because he returns to it. Again and again.
And that’s the invitation for all of us.
When We Judge Ourselves, It’s Hard Not to Judge Others
In that same conversation, we reflected on how the more self-affliction we carry—the louder our inner critic—the harder it can be to extend compassion outward.
Because how can we meet others with tenderness when we’re living under a constant barrage of self-blame, judgment, and perfectionism?
That inner voice—the quietest and yet loudest voice all at once—can be the hardest one to drown out.
But here’s the thing: we don’t have to drown it. We simply have to notice it.
And return.
Again and again, to something deeper.
Seeing Ourselves in Others
Pema Chödrön writes, “The truest measure of compassion is not our service to those on the margins, but our willingness to see ourselves in them.”
Not from each other.
Not from their struggles.
Not from their humanity.
Because the truth is—every one of us carries fear.
Fear of not being seen. Fear of not being valued.
Fear that we might be forgotten, misunderstood, or left behind.
And when that fear goes unacknowledged, it can harden.
It can turn into distance. Into judgment.
Into forgetting that behind every opinion, every action, every face—there is a story we do not fully know.
But underneath the noise—
Underneath the differences, the assumptions, the rush to defend or divide—
There are still beating hearts.
There are still people carrying burdens we cannot see.
What if our work—no matter our faith, background, or beliefs—is to return to the part of us that remembers that?
The part that sees with softness.
The part that chooses love.
The part that knows:
None of us are untouched.
And none of us are truly alone.
Practice to Return to Love
This week, try this:
✨ When you feel triggered by someone’s behavior, pause.
✨ Take one breath. Feel your feet on the ground. And silently ask yourself: “What burden might they be carrying that I can’t see?”
✨ And then, if you can, extend the same question inward: “What burden am I carrying that needs compassion right now?”
Compassion is not a trait we have or don’t. It’s a practice we return to.
And the more we return to it for ourselves, the easier it becomes to extend it to others.
A Space to Practice Presence—Together
In a world full of judgment, reactivity, and separation—we need places to return to love.
This is why I created Calm & Connect.
It’s not just about stress relief.
It’s about creating a space to remember who we are—and how we want to meet each other.
To listen, breathe, and return.
🌿 Join us this Sunday, May 4th.
And if you're a leader ready to bring this work into your organization—through keynotes, workshops, or weekly mindfulness sessions—this is the work I’ve done for over a decade.
Helping high performers slow down enough to come alive again.
Helping organizations become more human.
🔗 Join Calm & Connect
🔗 Explore 1:1 Coaching or Corporate Support
Your Mind's Worst Trick—And How to Stop It 🙌
We don’t just suffer when something actually goes wrong. We suffer every time we relive it in our heads—before, during, and long after it’s passed. Our minds are wired to scan for danger—they do this brilliantly.
When was the last time your mind took you somewhere you didn’t want to go?
It was one of those rare, sun-filled NYC days. The kind of day we all live for… The kind that either demands an unnecessary urgent work errand just to get outside—or turns an ordinary weekend into something magical. But instead of soaking in the moment, I was somewhere else completely, lost…drowning in the mayhem of my own mind.
I was spiraling through everything at once:
🔹 The never-ending to-do list.
🔹 My grandmother’s cancer.
🔹 My dad’s terminal diagnosis.
🔹 The tens of millions worth of jewels stuck in Qatar’s customs under my charge.
Suddenly, before I knew it, I was back in Qatar—arguing with customs agents, my voice rising, my heart pounding. Then, somehow, I was being hauled off to jail, panic flooding my system as I feared I’d never see my father again.
✨ But here’s the thing…
I wasn’t in Qatar.
I wasn’t in jail….
I was still standing on a sunny NYC street, completely hijacked by my own mind.
My brain had taken a full-blown trip—dragging my body and a suitcase full of stress chemicals along with it. Because here’s the truth:
At that moment, my body was experiencing it all as if it were real. My cortisol and adrenaline were flooding my system. My breath was shallow. And while my brain was trying to prepare me for the worst, I wasn’t just thinking about it—I was living it.
And for what?
Not only was I suffering through a disaster that hadn’t happened (and never would), but I was also:
🤯 Debilitating any ability to think clearly or rationally.
😰 Completely destroying the moment in front of me.
And this wasn’t just an isolated incident. This was how I lived.
Every hammer my boss could drop? I lived it. Not once, not twice—more like 20,000 times. Meanwhile, in reality? They happened, but far from the frequency, I experienced it.
Sounds Familiar?
I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this 😉 (Or maybe I am? 😅)
🌿 When was the last time your mind took you somewhere you didn’t want to go?
🌱 What stressors do you amplify in your mind that haven’t even happened yet?
✨ How might your day, your week, or your life change if you could redirect your mind toward clarity and peace?
Here’s what I know now: We don’t just suffer when something actually goes wrong. We suffer every time we relive it in our heads—before, during, and long after it’s passed. Our minds are wired to scan for danger—they do this brilliantly.
But here’s the best part: we can work with our minds.
It takes practice. It’s our job to take the reins, to remind them what’s real, and to train them to come back to the present.
Bottom line?
You can train your mind. You can break the cycle. You can stop reliving disasters that never happen—and start taking back control.
How?
1. Join Calm & Connect. (the best part? It's Free!) 🌿
A space to pause, breathe, and retrain your mind to return to the present—so you can lead, live, and create from clarity instead of chaos.
📅 Next Session: Sunday, February 23rd at 10 AM CT
2. Dig deeper. I work 1:1 with heart-centered individuals, founders, leaders and high-achievers who are ready to shift their relationship with stress. Those who are ready to not just to feel better, but to think better, live better, and if appropriate, lead better. If you’re ready to step into a new way of leading and living, let’s talk.
Join a session or reach out to explore 1:1 coaching. Because peace isn’t just a concept—it’s a skill you can build.
Together, we can create space for peace, clarity, and impact. ✨
P.S. What’s one way you bring yourself back to the present when your mind runs away? Drop a comment—I’d love to hear. 💬
🌀Stress isn’t the enemy—it’s the invitation.🌀
Not all stress is created equal. While some drains us, other types stretch and grow us into who we’re meant to become. The key? Learning how to engage with stress intentionally—leaning into discomfort that fuels growth while replenishing your inner reserves to avoid burnout.
Stress gets a bad rap. And honestly, I get it. It's exhausting. Overwhelming. The kind of thing we often want to step away from, push under the rug, or numb altogether.
But here's something I've come to realize: not all stress is created equal.
Yes, there's the stress that drains us—the kind we all want less of. But there's also stress that has the power to stretch us, to expand our capacity, and to help us grow into the person we're meant to become.
Recently, I came across a National Geographic article that reinforced an idea we've explored before: a life completely devoid of stress isn't actually good for us. Studies show that people with no stress are more likely to experience cognitive decline.
Why?
Because our brains thrive on novelty and challenge. The hippocampus—our brain's hub for memory and learning—loves newness. Every time we lean into something new or uncomfortable, we're feeding it, strengthening it, keeping it sharp as we age.
The question, then, isn't “How do I avoid stress?” but rather, “How do I engage with it in a way that stretches me without breaking me?”
Two Keys to Navigating Stress
Not recklessly, but with curiosity and intention.
Because sometimes, stress is an invitation to grow.
Maybe it's showing up differently with family or in-laws, evolving past those long-standing dynamics that seem stuck at age 15 (or, let's be honest, age 5🤭). Maybe it's challenging yourself to handle a work deadline with clarity rather than chaos or breaking free from that inner dialogue that drains your energy.
This doesn't mean every stressor is worth leaning into. (I'm definitely not asking you to keep your hand on a hot stove!) But discomfort that stretches us—that nudges us toward growth—is worth exploring.
This process, called interoception, takes into account how well you've slept, what you've eaten, and the emotional or physical load you're carrying.
When your “financial” reserves are low, even small stressors can feel like mountains. That's why it's so important—especially in busy seasons—to replenish your internal “bank account.”
For me, that looks like:
A daily morning meditation to start the day grounded.
Committing to physical movement, even when it's tempting to skip it.
Prioritizing 8 hours of sleep to let my body restore itself.
For you, it might mean:
Limiting inflammatory habits like extra alcohol or sugar.
Blocking off time in your calendar for rest or meaningful connection.
Building intentional pauses into your day to recalibrate before stress builds.
What will help you save and replenish your reserves this season?
This Week's Calm & Connect: Cultivating Peace Amid the Swirl
This Sunday at 11am ET, I'll be diving into these ideas in our Calm & Connect session. Together, we'll explore how to navigate stress with intention and cultivate equanimity in the midst of it all.
👉🏼 Click here to sign up
Whether you're feeling stretched thin or simply want to center yourself for the weeks ahead, I'd love to have you join us.
A Rare Opportunity to Shed the Stress Before 2025 🎉🎊🎈
I've had such a blast facilitating many incredible MCC sessions already, and the transformations have been inspiring. While so many of the sessions have been exactly what I needed, technology hasn't exactly been my friend - and let's be honest, I have had a blast doing these!
That's why I'm keeping a few more spots open. I want to submit the absolute best two sessions for my certification while seeing who else I can support!
If this has been calling to you—or if you're ready to offload stress and shed what's no longer worth carrying into 2025—this is your chance to step into clarity and possibility.
These sessions are discounted to $275 (normally $675), will be recorded (audio only!) for evaluation purposes, and securely discarded afterward. You can sign up for 1 or TWO!
👉 Click here to book your session
Let's create the space for you to show up lighter, clearer, and more aligned in the new year.
Let's Step Into Growth Together
This season, let's not just survive stress—let's engage with it in ways that stretch us, evolve us, and prepare us for what's next.
Remember: how we end this year shapes how we begin the next. Let's make it intentional.
P.S. If you're ready to dive deeper into these practices, I'm still offering two discounted MCC coaching sessions for new clients through December. Let's uncover what's possible for you. 👉 Click here to book.
The Game Changer for Leadership and Life: Navigating Anxiety and Cultivating Self-Love
Addressing anxiety and self-love involves building a new relationship with the voices inside our heads—the ones that fuel our aggression or amplify our anxiety.
"To expand our sphere of comfort, we must first sit in discomfort."
These words were steeped in my bones during a recent and soul-stirring silent retreat in Boone, NC with Gurudev, renowned for his global humanitarian efforts. For some, the idea of silence sounds miserable; for others, pure bliss. For me, while it would have been true pain years ago, it was a huge gift that I gave to myself.
During the retreat, while we couldn't speak, we could submit questions on paper to Gurudev, hoping for answers. The number of questions asking, “How do I love myself?” or “How do I rid myself of my anxiety?” was pervasive.
Here's the thing: these questions are not just personal issues. How we feel about ourselves influences every action and interaction. I've seen this impact firsthand—whether through my own experiences or through the stories shared by those I have the privilege to work with. Anxiety and self-doubt can be incredibly limiting, affecting our clarity, decision-making, and overall well-being.
Transforming Anxiety, Building Self-Love & Changing our World
We live in a polarized world where fear and inadequacy often drive our actions and interactions. It's important to understand that when we, even unconsciously, live with these feelings, they directly impact our brain chemistry, reducing our ability to listen, engage, and collaborate. To change this, we need to start with ourselves.
By doing our personal work, and addressing the issues of anxiety and self love, we begin to repair the fabric that's been torn apart—within our relationships, at work, and at scale. We can lay down our defenses, listen more openly, and work together to build bridges and innovative solutions never before imagined.
A friend responded to a recent post I shared about all the questions asked to Gurudev with the following:
"Thank you, I really needed that today. Your post really resonates with the work I've been trying to do lately. And I do think that it hits on the hardest question: how do we truly love ourselves?"
He further acknowledged that some of the things we tend to do to allegedly build ourselves up are actually to our detriment. Here's what I shared with him:
It's a practice that requires courage. It involves sitting and looking at what pulls us away—what internal dialogue and limiting beliefs are impeding access. How do we listen with both compassion and detachment? Because it's our attachment to those words that gives them their power. With that listening of compassion, detachment, and ultimately discernment, we can start to change the dialogue and the narrative.
Addressing anxiety and self-love involves building a new relationship with the voices inside our heads—the ones that fuel our aggression or amplify our anxiety. Mindfulness and compassion are not just abstract concepts; they are skills that can be developed.
It's also critical to note that self-love is not a destination but a continuous practice. It demands that we confront our internal dialogues, challenge limiting beliefs, and rewrite the narratives that no longer serve us.
So, what are you doing as an organization or leader to support yourself—and your people?
In my bi-weekly Calm and Connect sessions (open to everyone and happening THIS SUNDAY), we explore practical ways to develop these skills. There is a way to begin, and it starts with small, intentional steps.
If you're seeking support in this journey, whether for yourself or your organization, reach out. Let's connect and explore how I can help you lead with clarity and heart.
P.S. Join us for the next Calm & Connect session, this Sunday, July 28th to strengthen the muscle of mindfulness and dive into essential reflection alongside others.