Anxiety and Compassion: Learning to Work with Your Mind 🙌

Today, I want to share something about anxiety, and how, oddly enough, it's often our own compassion showing up in disguise. Anxiety has been a part of my journey, too—one that's driven me into this work of learning to befriend my own mind.

Anxiety has a way of taking root in the unknown. The moment our brain senses uncertainty, it kicks into “protection mode,” imagining all the worst-case scenarios to help us prepare. But instead of helping us, it usually just paralyzes us.

It's almost as if our brain clutches onto anxiety like a well-worn security blanket, thinking, “If I hold onto this, I'll stay safe.” The problem? That “blanket” doesn't actually keep us safe. It keeps us stuck.

This weekend, Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche helped me see anxiety in a new light. What's happening when we feel anxiety is actually compassion. Our mind wants to help, to comfort, but because it lacks clear direction, it reaches for the quick-fix—something to numb the discomfort. For some of us, it's reaching for a purchase, hiding in the pantry, a fight, or a glass of wine. But this well-meaning urge to “fix” can actually amplify the problem.

Listening to the Body's Early Warnings

One thing I've noticed—and maybe you have too—is that our body often knows anxiety is brewing before our brain even catches on. Maybe it's a quickening heart, a tightening in the chest, or that scatterbrained feeling.

Instead of checking out in that moment, what if we checked in?

For me, that shift came when I realized that anxiety shows up as my brain's way of protecting me—a relentless need to “know” an outcome in uncertain situations. Here's something fascinating: our brains are prediction machines, constantly scanning for answers to help us feel secure. They want to be “right” because accuracy kept our ancestors alive. But when we face ambiguity, our brains can spiral into worst-case scenarios, feeding anxiety instead of offering clarity.

Over the years, I've discovered tools that help me work with my mind rather than fight it. Some of these tools are exercises I teach to organizations and clients—great for building resilience—and others are quick resets for when you're on the go. One practice that's been especially invaluable lately? Pausing and connecting with curiosity and compassion.

Challenging the Anxious Brain

In the middle of a busy grocery store recently, I found myself “back in the attic” of my mind—everything felt dim and narrow, like I was on autopilot, barely noticing what I was putting in my cart.

With my scattered mind, I stopped, placed a hand over my heart, and gently rubbed it. This small, grounding gesture—taught to me by a mentor—sends a signal to the nervous system, telling it to settle down. Physical touch activates the vagus nerve, helping to calm the body, while reminding both heart and mind that it's safe to relax. Paired with a few slow, deep breaths, this act disrupts the anxiety loop just enough to create space for a shift in perspective.

After grounding myself, I posed a simple question to my brain: “What if it's better than I could ever imagine? What would that look like?” This question disrupts the anxious cycle by offering my mind something positive to consider. It's like saying to my brain, “I hear you, but let's also consider this.” This shift from “What if everything goes wrong?” to “What if things turn out beautifully?” opens up a mental space where anxiety can transform into curiosity and even hope.

The Power of Compassionate Curiosity

The beauty of this practice isn't that it erases anxiety—it transforms our relationship with it. By building a more compassionate, less reactive connection with our minds, we create space for other possibilities.

I often teach and speak on The BeAbove Leadership model called the 7 Levels of Effectiveness, which guides us from fear and frustration into courage, and ultimately, innovation. We can't expect ourselves to leap from fear to innovation in one go. But this practice offers a bridge: it allows us to step into courage, opening the door to countless possibilities and new ways to navigate what we once thought were impossible situations. Through this shift, even the most daunting moments can be reimagined, revealing unexpected paths forward.

Through this shift, even the most daunting moments can be reimagined, revealing unexpected paths forward.

Your Invitation to Pause, Connect, and Find Calm

As I step into the final stages of my journey to become a Master Certified Coach (MCC)—after thousands of hours coaching and training others—I'm thrilled to offer two discounted coaching sessions to new clients who are open to recording the sessions (audio only!) as part of my evaluation process and exam.

If you're looking to dig deeper, gain clarity, or simply reconnect with a sense of calm, I'd be honored to support you. This is for a very limited time and only available to a few individuals.

Have Questions? Simply reply to this email or contact her at 404-840-2238. 

Alternatively - ready to dig in?!? Grab your spot here! 

AND if you're searching for a supportive space to navigate this season with curiosity and clarity, join me for our free Calm & Connect sessions. This week, our session time has shifted to 10am ET (from 11am ET), and I'd LOVE for you to join us. Together, we'll practice grounding ourselves, connecting with compassion, and finding clarity amid the chaos.

Wishing you ease, curiosity, and peace, wherever you are.

P.S. You have permission to take a pause, just like you would offer to someone else in need. Let's give that gift to ourselves, too.

The Antidote To Anxiety’s Merry Go Round

Have you ever had a date with anxiety? I mean, who hasn't, right? Maybe you're nodding your head thinking, "Yesterday? Today? Now???😂"

If you've never dealt with anxiety, feel free to move to the next post, however if you have, let's talk about the merry-go-round of anxiety, specifically, good ol' #rumination.

You know, those times when you're trapped in a hamster wheel of thoughts, spinning without really getting anywhere? Your brain says that this exercise is necessary - requisite - and that it's a really fabulous use of your brain capital - and yet it gets you nowhere.

Morra Aarons-Mele nails it in her recently published Harvard Business Review article How High Achievers Overcome Their Anxiety:

"What distinguishes rumination from helpful processing is that it doesn't provide new ways of thinking, behaving, or solving the problem. It just covers the same territory again and again, keeping us locked in the negative mindset."

Imagine being stuck in a loop of worries, labyrinths of rumination, wandering over the same pathways again and again, without liberation and a clear path out, never mind forward. It's exhausting. Familiar?

While it's cozy at times to snuggle with those worries and play out future scenarios, ultimately it renders us frozen and disempowered to take meaningful steps in our personal and professional lives.

However, There IS a light at the end of the rumination labyrinth.

.....Superhero of the Hour? 😍 YES. Mindfulness.

Amid the labyrinth of life, Mindfulness shines a light on the rumination maze. Rather than being stuck inside, Mindfulness helps you step outside the maze so that you can adequately assess, read it like a map, and then properly plot the right steps to move forward.

What's more, as we navigate the complex landscapes of our lives, Mindfulness enables us to become aware of when we get caught in the rumination cycle and UNHOOK from its clutches.

With every mindful pivot, we transform ourselves from rumination captives to solution-savvy warriors. We're talking about breaking free, taking action, and watching our growth skyrocket.

Share your thoughts: Has rumination ever hindered your ability to take vital steps in your personal or professional journey? I'd love to hear your insights and experiences.

Ready to leverage the power of Mindfulness and brain-based tools in your life, leadership or organization? Reach out, let’s connect.