When you’re not your favorite self.
Describe your favorite version of yourself.
Not the version you think you should be.
Your actual favorite.
The one you love being.
Mine is easy.
She's magnetic.
Ideas pour out of her.
She creates.
Connects.
Amplifies.
She brings things to life.
There is a kind of ease to her.
A flow.
A feeling that everything is possible.
Sometimes it feels like magic.
And if I'm honest, there are moments when I'd like to believe that's who I am.
Not some of the time.
All of the time.
The hard part is what happens when she's not here.
When I didn't sleep well.
When life is life-ing.
When I'm carrying something heavy.
When I'm tired.
When I'm simply not operating at full capacity.
There are moments when I can feel myself wanting to apologize.
Sorry I'm not bringing the same energy.
Sorry I'm not as inspiring.
Sorry I'm not as productive.
Sorry I'm not the version of me everyone likes best.
Including me.
But what I've learned over time is that those less favorite versions of ourselves often have something important to say.
Usually, they're not showing up by accident.
Sometimes they're exhausted.
Sometimes they're hurting.
Sometimes they're pointing to a value we've drifted away from.
Sometimes they're revealing a need we've been ignoring.
Sometimes they're simply asking for care.
The more I sit with those versions of myself, the less interested I become in fixing them.
And the more interested I become in listening.
Because there is wisdom there too.
There are insights there.
There are truths my favorite self often moves too quickly to notice.
Maybe the goal isn't becoming our favorite version of ourselves and staying there forever.
Maybe the goal is learning how to welcome all of our versions.
The magnetic one.
The messy one.
The joyful one.
The grieving one.
The productive one.
The tired one.
To stop identifying so completely with any one of them.
And to remember that who we are is far bigger than whatever version happens to be showing up today.
We are not the wave we happen to be in.
We are the ocean.
If this reflection resonated, I'd love to continue the conversation.
Whether through a guided meditation, leadership coaching, a keynote, or another reflection, my hope is always the same:
To help you lead and live with greater clarity, presence, and possibility.
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