What an 8-Year-Old Taught Me About Reactivity
Every so often, I carve out time to write.
I order a matcha, find a table, and sit down to let what’s unfolding in the world–and in me–find its way to the page.
This time, I was in Steamboat Springs.
A mountain town that invites you to slow down and listen.
I sat at a long wooden table, just beside a mother and her daughter.
The girl was maybe 8 years old, working through fractions.
At first, it was quiet.
But within minutes, her tone shifted.
Frustration.
Defensiveness.
Tears pushing at the edge of her voice.
She wasn’t just struggling with math anymore.
She was fighting to be heard.
To not feel wrong.
To prove something–maybe to her mom, maybe to herself.
And I could feel it.
Because I’ve been that girl.
And if we’re honest, most of us still are–at least sometimes.
We may hide it better.
But many of us still shut down when we feel misunderstood.
We still grip tightly when we fear being wrong.
We still hear correction as rejection.
And here’s the thing:
When the brain feels threatened, it literally narrows.
Perception shrinks.
The ability to take in new information drops.
We stop listening–not out of stubbornness, but out of self-protection.
Because the moment we soften,
The moment we step back,
The moment we breathe–
The nervous system can recalibrate.
And clarity can return.
💭 Where in your life do you still grip like that 8-year-old?
💭 Where do you stop listening–not because you don’t care, but because it feels too personal?
This is the work.
Not just performance. Not just presence.
But growing the parts of us that still get hijacked.
Let’s meet those parts with compassion.
And lead from something deeper.
Because this is the real work I do with leaders every day–
not just building performance, but expanding capacity.
🧠 The nervous system.
🫁 The pause.
🗣️ The patterns we picked up at 8 that still shape our adult reactions.
If this struck a chord–or if you know someone navigating their own “fractions moment”--feel free to share.
And if you're curious what this kind of work could look like for you or your team, I’d love to connect.
PS: If your team is shifting culture, mindset, or clarity–language is one of the most powerful levers we have. And mindfulness gives us the tools to catch the drift and come back stronger. If you're ready to go deeper, reach out.
And if this is something you want to do in community, I am excited to explore this topic further, in this week's Calm & Connect community conversation and Meditation ❤️.
🔗🌿 Join Calm & Connect || Sunday, August 24, 2025.