Why Embracing Our Wholeness Is A Super Power

A month ago, as I wrapped 2022 and stepped into 2023, I took a week to dig deep with the most incredible group in Mexico, to reflect on my own leadership, life, and what lays ahead. And while some of the critical takeaways were ones I already “knew,” there was a new level in which these takeaways seeped into my being and consciousness.

Tremendously meaningful and directive as I plan for 2023 and what lays beyond, I wanted to share them with you, too.

🔑 We are so much more than how we identify ourselves. 🙋‍♀️ For many of us, we identify ourselves by a few, particular descriptors, pigeonholing ourselves with what is possible.

Not only does it minimize us, but quickly opens up a can of worms when we do not show up as we expect ourselves to: “magnetic,” "great communicator," "great friend,” or “stellar listener.” And instead of compassionately exploring “what’s up” for us in that moment, the habitual reaction is to self-flagellate and self-minimize: an approach which is widely ineffective and fails to embrace the reality of our wholeness and humanity.

The greater lesson?

The moment we embrace the wholeness of who we are - the completeness of our experience, we stop resisting the moments of “contrast.” Because it is precisely that resistance which causes us pain and suffering.

And as you embrace instead of resist, you access the wisdom, the insight and the completeness of your life and experiences.

🔑 The moment we drop our past we can more quickly create the life we desire. It’s easy - and very normal - to hold on to - and use - past stories as the reasons and justifications for why we are the way we are: resentful, angry, frustrated, not where we want to be.

But the moment we drop those stories, and simply instead look at where we are, and what we want to create - we no longer create from the past, but from a blank slate full of potential with a whole new spectrum of paint.. THAT is far more powerful than only using the colors of the past.

Ready to embrace your wholeness? Reach out. Let’s Connect for 1:1 leadership development. And if you want to join a community that is already doing so, join our Calm & Connect Mindfulness Community. 

Diving Deeper

Last blog, I shared a perhaps provocative definition for personal development. If you missed it, watch here or scroll below.  This week we dive into why it is that fundamental and foundational to doing the work, is actively and courageously falling in love with yourself. It is not easy AND it is requisite. Click here to watch, or read below :).

I recently had a dear friend ask a bit incredulously, "don't we need to get to know ourselves before we can fall in love with ourselves?" It is a wholly valid question. 

My answer? 

No.

Let me explain.

When a baby is born, and you hold that precious human in your arms for the very first time - you are already in love with it. You do not wait to see how it poops, how little it cries, or what it's personality is - you unconditionally love that being, likely before it is even born. It is precisely that love that has you wipe its tush no matter how smelly, how messy it's diaper is MULTIPLE times a day. Your love enables you to be with all its crap (quite literally). It is that love that gets you out of bed no matter how exhausted you are. It does not say, "I am too tired and I do not have time for you," or "maybe later."

It is that love that stares in amazement as that child wobbly stands for the first time... and then falls flat on its tush. It's that love which says, "How incredible! You've got it!" And watches as the child tries another 50 or 100 times to get up before it walks, and then runs through the house and life. We do not say, "you idiot, you fell on your ass again?? See whose watching. Everyoneee. You best just stay there. Why try, again?"

It is that love, which as the child grows older and makes mistakes says, "you made a mistake, and that's ok. My love is not conditional on your making mistakes. Let's look at what happened... what made you do that? This is how we learn, this is how we grow."

We innately know and research shows, it is that love, be it from a parent, teacher or another, which enables our children to reach the greatest heights of their potential. Shame, disgust, ridicule -  will not get them there. 

But yet, that is how we treat ourselves.

IF we wait to get to know ourselves before falling in love with ourselves - we will find all the evidence in the world for why we are not worth loving. As we get to know ourselves and our tendencies - we'll easily say, "see that's why you aren't worth loving! Told you!!"  Each mistake and every moment of being (i.e. cranky) when we are tired, irritated or lost, will magnify for us, how undeserving we are. We will be looking through dirty, tinted, crud filled lenses of inadequacy, thus obscuring the true view.

The one thing we want the most is to be loved - but we refuse to love ourselves. It's the one thing we want most, not (just) from others, but its the one thing we most want from ourselves - whether we've realized it yet or not.

However, if we come from a place where we wholly love ourselves, we are more willing to take our own hands and look into the dark, scary places, and do the hard work. And when we explore from a place of unconditional love - we are more willing to dive in because we aren't looking for ways to prove that we are "unworthy." 

Imagine a world where everyone not only wants the best for themselves but also loves themselves enough to go into the dark, hard places, knowing that as they move through, they reach greater heights. Imagine a world where everyone is accessing their greatest potential. That's a world I am fighting for. 

How about you?

It starts with you.

With love and abundant gratitude,
Rachel 

A Conscious Choice

What is Personal Development??

I was recently asked to give a talk on the importance of this huge topic. But before we could dive into how important it is, we needed to define it. I wanted to use the BEST definition out there (if it’s been done, no need to fix) but in scouring the internet, I came up short, which gave me the opportunity to lean into my work and experience and create one. It is that, which I get to share with you here.  Click here to watch the Youtube Video or read below. I hope it stimulates and maybe even challenges some thinking. Let’s start a conversation!

Personal Development:(n, v) the active process of getting to know ourselves, (self-awareness) of choosing to fall in love with ourselves so that we can live with intention, connected to ourselves and the world around us. It's the courageous process of looking at and then removing the myriad of self-imposed constraints we put on ourselves. It's the heralding of aspects which make us unique and 1 in 8 billion. It's the courage to go into the dark places knowing that through those doorways is the access to light.

It is not a set of skills and tools we acquire. It is not something we add to our resume. It's the process by which we make the unconscious  (or that which we are oblivious to) conscious (something we are aware of) and through that awareness can then make choices we consciously choose, rather than being run by choices run by our unconscious.

Perhaps not something previously considered (or even hard to digest), I'll follow up with why "falling in love with ourselves" is a non-negotiable, fundamental, base-line, part of the process. Until then,  email and get in touch - or share this with others!

With love (and gratitude for allowing me to share!)
Rachel