Mind, Body, Spirit

More often than not, I start coaching sessions by asking my client to take four to six deep, belly-expanding breaths. Then, as a form of "check-in", they will answer the following:

My mind is… 

My body is…

My spirit is…
 

Go ahead, try it.  Take a few truly conscious breaths, focusing on how it feels as you inhale. Then, honestly fill in those same sentences with the first word or phrase that comes forth. 

P.S.: Don't decide on the answers in advance. The exercise is to experience what is present in this moment, after those breaths. 

The point and the benefit? 

It's an opportunity to unpack three separate elements - our mind, our body, and our spirit - that make up who we believe ourselves to be but tend to amass as one.

Each aspect is very much independent, however, they quickly become intrinsically connected and intertwine in a way that blurs the lines between who we are and what’s really going on with us. 

If we were to be our body-our bones, organs and flesh-we’d be defined by our physical structure and prowess. And though for some, it may feel that their bodies largely define who they are, it isn’t actually true.  Our bodies can impact our mind and our spirit when we allow it, but while we can let it define who we are, the truth is the body is wholly separate from our spirit, and both of those are also wholly distinct from our mind, our intellect.

If we were to be our mind..... well, let's just say thank goodness thats not the case.

Though an insanely strong set of cognitive faculties, the mind doesn't wholly define who we are or the values we live by - AND it's something we can re-train.   A wide-spread, mind-controlled, belief of "not good enough" is a perfect example.  A vast number of humans walk around with some level of that belief (embedded by their minds) and many, with age and training, overcome those limiting beliefs.  Furthermore, when we truly check in with our spirit, an aspect most intrinsically guiding who we are, we know we are not defined by our mind, but rather our values and actions.

So how often do you let one aspect drive the whole vehicle? How might a few belly breaths allow you to become present and honestly check in with how you are feeling? 

For my clients, for myself, that step back allows a bigger picture to unfold, and the steps forward are far more connected to what is real, what is truly present.

With love and light,

Rachel (to receive these weekly, subscribe below!)

A Butterfly Connection

(This week’s topic is one I could delve into for hours...there is so much to explore and share. The enclosed is a stab at presenting a thesis topic in one small blog, and written with love.)

 As human beings, we yearn for connection. I would even assert after sustenance of food and water, connection is our next priority. Not surprisingly, there is significant supporting scientific evidence that we have a fundamental need to be connected to those around us.  However, we often struggle with the “how-to.”

Armand Dimele argues that “when people go within and connect with themselves, they realize they are connected to the universe and they are connected to all living things.”

So as I inquired last week, what are those moments for you?

Did you discover where or when you are most grounded and/or connected? 

My anchors are my practice, meditation, authentic connection with another being and time in nature.

I do not profess that the moment I step onto the mat or sit in my chair (or the great outdoors) I am automatically grounded or connected. 

It takes time to get “there,” to be more deeply connected to myself and ultimately connected to more. Each serves as a portal, an opening. As I connect to myself in that space, I am, with time, connected to - and present to - something greater.  As I lay under the starts in the sky, I am not separate, but rather somehow a part of it. 

I am only one, a singular individual living my singular life. However, through my limited scope, I’ve experienced and been exposed to enough to know more than I did 10 years ago.  And as I nourish and explore my own “knowing,” I’ve watched my world expand. And each time I allow that expansion, its as though I myself expand… As I connect more with myself, I realize how we are all connected to the universe and all living things.

So again, the invitation is to connect. Not to create a separateness, which we all at one time or another have accustomed ourselves to, but to find something greater, something beyond the limited periphery of just ourselves.

As Albert Einstein said, we as a human being are “part of a whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space.” As such, he continues, it is our task “to free ourselves from this prison [of separateness] by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”

My immediate desire for you, is not that you feel connected to each and every living thing that comes before you (though that can be beautiful), but to be open to new connections. To be open to seeing and knowing how others, living in their own very real world, might intertwine and connect with yours on a bigger plane and on a greater scale.  No matter where you are, who you encounter or whether you think the person you come into acquaintance with is from a different world to your own, there is always a connection to be had. 

Are you willing to be open to more? To seek that which seeks you? And when we speak of these unexpected connections, that rare moment when a butterfly rests on your shoulder can you know that in that moment you are connected to the world’s beauty as well?

Some things to ponder. Would love to hear what you discover.

With love and light,

Rachel

Just a Share...

It’s been 2 weeks (OK, maybe three weeks). I made a promise and I promise, I AM keeping it. I have not reneged on my vows, I was traveling… in New Zealand AND Australia.

Pretty crazy amazing.

I had hoped to write while I was away, but days were long and while I brought my computer, I ultimately choose to detach (as much as possible) from devices that connect, and to ultimately disconnect.

I took hundreds of pictures, some of which I share here.  However the moments during which I was fully engaged, fully present, my camera or camera phone were no where to be found. In an age where an experience does not seem validated unless shared via Instagram or Facebook and where the saying “a picture is worth a thousand words,” prevails on new levels, I can honestly affirm that not a single picture truly captured the moment or expanse that was felt.

We were guided by bus through the mountains, by helicopter over ranges and canyons, by plane from city to city and by boat through rivers, sounds and a fiorland.

One of the biggest takeaways from my travels through New Zealand and Australia was the re-affirmation of my value for connection. Connection to the surrounding landscape, to my body through my practice and to others, be they a fellow traveler, a native inhabitant, or a client with whom I might start my mornings (some of my best days included connecting through an early AM session before venturing into the land which surrounded me).

As I write here, it's become evident that I have much to explore on the topic of connection. However, i'll leave that for the week(s) to come. I’d rather parcel out my thoughts than send you one giant tome of an email! So, for the sake of sharing, and connecting with you, I hope you enjoy the enclosed...

I invite you to ponder when you feel most centered, most alive, most present. Is connection involved? How so? Can you generate more in the coming weeks?

With love and light,

Rachel

When you Change the Way you Move..

When you change the way you move, you change the way you live your life.

I was once told, the way we move, the way we walk, the way we approach a pose, is a mirror for the way we set about our lives.

On the mat, if we consistently move apprehensively, without trust or confidence, or with fear, we likely employ a similar method off the mat. Bulldozing into a posture to just “do it” or “get it done”… suggests there may be some bulldozing through our lives.  Admittedly, that was me, five years ago.

When teachers recommended slowing down, every bone and muscle in my body resisted. When we were told to move with our breath, I used short, shallow breaths: longer breaths meant slower movements.  My practice was my practice and it was fine as it was – but it wasn’t. It would take an entire class to clear my mind, to get to the point where I’d hope to be 5 minutes in.

I rushed through life with a permanent sense of angst. I constantly needed to get each task done and checked off.  I took pride in being referred to as an octopus, consistently “accomplishing” multiple tasks at once.  

AND, just as I did on the mat, I was endlessly trying to prove myself, and my worth, to everyone.

Over the last five years my practice has transformed drastically. Not because the poses look more impressive, but because I struggle less. And, not surprisingly, I struggle less in life.

When something doesn’t work, I remember to breath, to get curious about what isn’t working. When there is a struggle inside (last week for example), I start to inquire about what’s there. It’s not just about solving, but about understanding, and when I do, the solutions in the end, are usually quite successful.

A teacher once said “do the pose, not for yourself or your ego, but in support of your neighbor.” An otherwise anecdotal comment, it blew my mind. Each time I play with that approach, there is always a new strength and easy resilience not there before.

When you change the way you move…you change the way you live. 

Would you like to live with more strength or more flexibility of mind, body or spirit? Would you like more ease? This week, can you bring that into the way you move, both on and off the mat?

With love and light,

Rachel (to receive these in your inbox weekly, subscribe below!)

A Masterpiece

An adaptation of an old Rumi quote: “How can you expect to be polished if you are irritated at every rub?”

Allow yourself a moment to let that brilliant quote sink in. 

I have a friend who’s currently in yoga teacher training. Although she fears and hates the moments required to teach in front of her peers, it is her fervent and genuine desire to teach yoga.

For my friend, each peer-teaching opportunity functions as a mirror for just how hard it is. How hard it is to get clear directions out of her mouth, while visually taking in all the various practitioners in the room and their current capabilities while simultaneously sequencing and planning what is next (or remembering “what’s next” if the series was planned in advance).

 If you have never taught yoga, give it a go. Five minutes…not of instructing poses by name (i.e. down dog, warrior 1, warrior 2), but how to get into them.  It should serve as an entertaining and possibly horrific exercise. I venture you might stop before the five minutes expires.

My aim isn’t clarifying how hard it is to teach, but rather to illustrate that like most things done or experienced for the first, or even first twenty times – it’s terrible, and perhaps even abysmal. Each experience is often an irritating, conceivably deflating reminder of just how flawed it can be, no matter the effort applied.

But as Rumi astutely acknowledges, how can we get better, not only if we do not practice, but if we get irritated with each and every rub?

So this week, first and foremost, where are you already shiny and polished?  So shiny, you can see your reflection? Did it start that way? Can you bask in how polished you are, now?

AND, what areas are worth (or require) rubbing? And rather than getting irritated so each rub feels more painful, can you get excited about the rubbing?

Can you know and hold onto the fact that that is how you become shiny?

Know that it is possible to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress at the same time (Just like the above Gerhard Richter during its early stages of transformation).

With love and light,

Rachel (to receive these blogs in you inbox weekly, subscribe below!)

In the Search for Happiness

“Aversion is that which follows identification with painful experiences”

— Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, Book 2, Sutra 8

Should I offer you a happy experience or a pain-ful experience, I would venture an overwhelming majority would choose the “happy” experience.  We live our lives seeking happiness, though surprisingly, many cannot articulate what it is that truly creates a sense of contentment.

In recent conversation with another wellness practitioner, she confirmed the one question which stumps most of her clients is “what brings you joy?”

So, what brings YOU joy?

Not easily answered for all, we continuously search.

A favorite interpretation of the above sutra references an ancient, fabled musk deer. The deer runs here, there, everywhere in search of a musk scent- each time “almost” finding the scent, not knowing the it comes from its own forehead.[1]

Just as the scent comes from the musk deer himself, so too does happiness come from within.

We not only search for happiness, we avoid pain. Not just because we might “burn” ourselves, but instinctually we relate pain to suffering, and suffering is an antithesis to happiness.

Jeff Kober, in a recent blog, explores a very similar premise.  He states that physical (i.e. stepping on glass) and emotional (death of a loved one, broken relationships or career disappointments)[2] pain is a given, it’s a part of life, however, suffering..

“Suffering… is what we experience when we think about the pains we have experienced, when we tell ourselves why we have the pains we are experiencing, try to think our way out of future, imagined pains, or blame ourselves or others for the pains we are experiencing in the moment. Any sort of speculation about pain, or truly, the act of speculation itself, will lead to suffering. Always and only.”

So where in your life do you suffer? What triggers force you into worrying and speculating about the future? Where does pain act as a vehicle for suffering?

In terms of every-day application, as I look back over the last ten-fifteen years of my life, I see that so much of my suffering was self-inflicted and all future-based. For the most part, suffering came mostly from resting in, and digging into, the emotional pain.

Whether due to loss of loved ones or severe stress at school, then later work, the deep-seated pain was related to the lens I created for my future. It was all speculation:

I would be a failure (definitely not). I wasn’t getting into either master’s program and therefore I wouldn’t be able to achieve my dreams (got into both, choose not to pursue that particular dream after further education), I was bound to be fired (never) I made a stupid career move (still up for debate ;), but Ill go with NO) – VERY happy supporting others as a life and business coach and love teaching yoga. 

On another level, when I lost my father, the suffering came wholly from what I would be missing out on. I cried not just for missing him, but for the future we wouldn’t be able to share or explore together. And that big break up? When the relationship we both viewed as our future had forever ended, the pain was not just for what I did not have in the moment, but was exacerbated by the future I wouldn’t have (but also was not sure I wanted). Years later, I couldn’t be more grateful. The end to that relationship created the space for a future I could have never imagined. What I needed and wanted then is wholly different than today.

So where, in the search for happiness, do you avoid pain, because pain means suffering? And how much of that pain, that suffering, can you extricate with awareness?

As I reflect, I acknowledge that it’s not the pain that is the antithesis to my happiness, but the self-inflicted suffering. And I’m still a work-in-progress.

Today when faced with similar moments, I continue speculate and I still suffer. It’s a well-built muscle.   But being aware of that landscape, I rest less in the pain, and far more in my happiness.  I choose not to avoid the pain, knowing that in many cases, it brings me to a better place. And knowing that my happiness is not related to the pain, I create and generate more contentment than I have ever experienced.

Complex and not just a singular thought, would love to hear your take away and what resonates for you.

With love and light,

Rachel (To receive these weekly in your inbox, subscribe below the footnotes :) )

Sri Swami Satchidananda, Translation and Commentary, “Yoga Sutras of Patanjali,” Book 2, Sutra 8, page

[2] Jeff Kober, “The Problem of Suffering.” Vedic Meditation Thought for the Day, March 25, 2017.

Ahimsa, Non-Violence

Martín Luther King Jr. said, "At the center of non-violence stands the principle of love." The Sutras herald a similar concept. The tenant ahimsa states: “in the presence of one firmly established in nonviolence, all hostilities cease.”

Who is that “one” firmly established in non-violence, so that all hostilities cease?

Some embody this non-violence in their eating habits by converting to vegetarianism or veganism.  However, even in the midst of our most valiant efforts, one fundamental practice of non-violence is all too often overlooked: non-violence to the self -- a commitment to the self, to do no harm.  

How many times a day, an hour, are you self-critical?

In modern society, self-criticism is a rampant form of self-talk and “self-management.” Many of us believe that self-criticism is necessary for self-growth and that it is how we learn from mistakes and how we succeed.

And you know what? It’s one that I personally ascribed to for a long time, and am, to this day, working to break. For years, I believed that the criticism was the way to growth, and that without it, I’d flounder.   Whether in the classroom, by parents (not just our own), or by first bosses, many grow up being criticized with the justification that it is for our own benefit.

Ultimately, that generates merely more criticism. It establishes degradation as the modality for success.  Though an extreme, it is held that 30% of children who are physically abused continue the cycle, because that is what they are taught, that is how they “learned.”

Ghandi said,  “I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent.”

As human beings, we make mistakes every day. We say the wrong thing and we don’t always perform to our highest expectations. However, rather than admit, acknowledge and move on, we berate, chastise and degrade.

This past year in my work as a life coach, I’ve gained vast insight into the value of a different approach: championing successes. It is not to say that we ignore our failures and mistakes. Instead we look at our nonsuccesses with curiosity and intrigue. What didn’t work? How was it that the conversation, the event or sale did not go as expected? And equally important – what worked?? What was successful?  With such an approach I often find that when I can get clients (and myself) to step outside of the criticism and look at it with a “critical” eye, a wealth of information and growth is gained.

What I’ve come to realize is this: that for most evolved human beings, for those who truly want and are willing to do more in life, when they dare treat themselves with kindness, their success is larger than they could have otherwise envisioned.

So how would it be to treat yourself with compassion and true kindness? What would be the immediate effect, and the domino effect?  With time, whether you are the next president or the next tech guru, a mother of two or single hard-working member of society, how might continued, embodied, non-violence encourage peace, so that in your presence, all hostilities cease?

Cool concept, no?

With love and light,

Rachel (to receive these weekly in your inbox, subscribe below!)

No Attachment, Part II (The Impermanence of Being)

Last week we looked at non-attachment, vairagya, through the lens of no expectations: if there is no expectation, if we are open to a given moment, to a specific person, to a certain relationship, each as they are and without attempting to force what is not, we can more easily see what we would otherwise miss – beauty or beast.

Dense and multi-dimensional, I thought vairagya, non-attachment, worthy of another week’s exploration. 

While an approach to non-attachment suggests the removal of expectations, the essence of non-attachment lays within the acknowledgement that life is filled with impermanence. Whether our bodies, relationships, jobs and careers, possessions, or the stars in the sky - everything is impermanent.

What feelings or thoughts, if any, does that elicit for you? Does it trigger a particular response in your mind or reaction in your body? For me, as I write and consider the impermanence of that which is most dear in my life, I clam up, I close up… because I am attached.

However the truth is, that nothing ever remains the same and forever fixed in place. Our bodies are in a perpetual state of transition.  We may be unable to see the microscopic tick of these cellular transformations, but it is a constant—seven years from today, not one cell in your body will remain the same.  At times our bodies grow stronger; other times weaker (and with work, they grow stronger yet again). Our cars or favorite objects of affection change due to use and age while our relationships experience journeys and metamorphoses with each interaction. We, as individual beings, continue to evolve.

In the moments when I allow that nothing will forever remain the same, a level of non-attachment and acceptance gently surfaces. Without doubt, there is often an underlying feeling of “oh-shit.” However, when I can see that “oh-shit” for what it is, I know it is fear. And when I move past that fear, I am gifted an immense awareness – and a profound sense of gratitude.

Once this acceptance seeps in, I can see more clearly.  Colors become brighter; missing details appear, as if by magic. In truth, I am seeing that person, situation or relationship for the first time with new eyes – and through a new lens.

Simultaneously, that underlying notion that impermanence is synonymous with deterioration or loss is released. I realize that if nothing stays the same, anything can occur: promotion, a new exciting journey, a more evolved meaningful relationship in place of what does not work...anything.

In reflecting back at the last year and a half, a bulk of my life has changed. My schedule has shifted and molded more times than I can count, each time making way for more. The relationships around me have morphed and certain friendships have forged new bonds and depths. My perspectives on what I want continue to evolve. If I had (and there are times I did) grasp tight to the way things were, that would only cause angst and fruitless resistance. Where I stand now, my life is more full and my relationships are more beautiful than I would otherwise envision.

So whether through the lens of impermanence or through the lens of no expectations are you willing to play with non-attachment?  What can it offer you?

Ralph Waldo Emerson stated, “life is a journey, not a destination.” Are you willing to be open to every moment of that journey, knowing and accepting that no two moments are ever the same?

With immense gratitude for all I hold dear in my life, with gratitude for the reminder of impermanence, and with complete gratitude for you,

Love and light,

Rachel (to receive these weekly, subscribe below!)

No Attachment, No Expectations

When I first dove into the principles of yoga, the concept of non-attachment, vairagya, hit me at my core. It was so clear and made absolute sense: if I do not attach, then I cannot be disappointed, and if I cannot be disappointed, then I cannot get hurt. 

According to the sutras, becoming attached to things, people and outcomes ultimately causes us agony. Attachment manifests itself in our possessions, our relationships, aspirations, career, and the visions we hold for the future, both near and far.  We grasp and hold on so tightly that when we loose these things, when they are taken away, we find ourselves distraught, often in intense pain. As the saying goes “things are as they are, we suffer because we imagined different.”

The sutras teach if we do not attach, opportunities for pain are mediated.  

Conceptually, it seems clear.  But what is conceptually clear and how reality plays out are wholly different.

I’ve been exploring this concept for nearly two years, and I still have an abundance of attachments, more than I would like to admit. However, each time I play with putting vairagya into practice, it’s not only as if I mediate some of the pain, but it’s as if the world opens up…

When I first considered non-attachment, it was abundantly clear I was attached everywhere. So I started to look where it might be helpful to ‘detach.’ At the time, I had developed quite an interest in a strong, quieter gentleman. His eyes shone, and his heart was kind. He genuinely cared about the people around him, had a great sense of humor and was invested in whatever it was that he was doing. The interest seemed mutual; he consistently reached out, however something was missing. I knew I was attaching to the idea of something and the idea of “that perfect someone,” and he (as embarrassing as it is to write) happened to tick so many boxes. What he later let me in on was that while he adored me as a person, he wasn’t attracted to women. I had wrapped myself in an idea, in a person, that alongside the disappointment, I missed out on something greater: an amazing friendship.

I honestly believe that life often offers us gems, offers us beautiful experiences, but we get so wrapped up in the idea of how something should be, or who someone should be for us (boyfriend SHOULD be husband) that we miss out on a bigger picture and we miss the beauty.

Attachment manifests itself in multiple forms and the result is not always merely disappointment. Whether it be a relationship, a job, an idea or a day, when it is forced from an attachment, it never fills us in the way we hope or desire. Often, we are left feeling empty.

Each time I feel an intense struggle within, each time there is a lack of flow, I try to find where I am attaching. Some things are easier to let go than others, but when I do, what presents itself on the other side is often more beautiful than what I can ever imagine.

What about you? Think back to one of your best days. How often were you attached or had an expectation on how it should go? 

For me, my best days are the unexpected ones. The ones without expectations.

So in your life, on or off the mat, can you play with no expectations? No attachment to how your body should be, how a class should go or how a day should unfold. Can you be curious and open to what unfolds and what treasures present themselves that you might have otherwise missed?

Walt Whitman said, “be curious, not judgmental.” So without judgment, with pure curiosity, what and were might you detach? Would love to hear what opens up for you.

With love and light,

Rachel (subscribe below to receive these in your inbox weekly!)

P.S. Permission was obtained to share the story as it is not just "my story" but involves another xx.

Santosha - An Active Pursuit

A year and a half ago, I elected to teach yoga because the depth and breadth of yoga is truly extraordinary. Yoga guides us to new touchstones and holds us to a higher standard of living. For many, the result is a more fulfilled life, not because of what is attained physically or tangibly, but because of the lessons gleaned from the mat.

The asana, the physical practice, is one of eight limbs of yoga. Each limb is offers a different journey to a similar destination. However, for many, their practice of yoga expands, and multiple limbs intertwine.

In class last week, we explored another limb, the niyamas, also considered the tenants of how we should live in relationship with our selves.  This particular class focused on the niyama, santosha: contentment. According to The Sutras of Patanjali, the overarching guide for all eight limbs, santosha is not about satisfaction: it is not about complacency.  Rather, as one sutra states, “by contentment, supreme joy is gained.”[1]

Who doesn’t want supreme joy? I’d venture that few would say, “Not I”!  However, how we find pure contentment, and ultimately pure joy, is a little more illusive.

In her article published by Wanderlust.com, Helen Avery dives into santosha, explaining that it is an incredibly active pursuit. To achieve contentment, she suggests we must first acknowledge exactly where we are at, and what we are experiencing.

How do we feel in any given moment? Angry? Frustrated? Excited? Fearful? Determined? Happy?

Once we acknowledge, the next step is to accept.

How often do we accept our anger? Most often, we are just angry, fuming as to why we are angry.  What would it be like to pause and FEEL the fury? Then, to accept the fury?

On the flip side, what would it be to pause and really feel excitement? To feel joy? Rarely do we fully engage and sit with any emotion.

Rather it inhabits the background. Negative emotions are repressed, often growing without our consent while positive ones are overlooked, for fear we are undeserving or for fear that IF we engage too much, they might slip away.

Finally, we get curious.

What does anger feel like in my body? Where does it reside and what is my reaction? Is there a struggle and what does that feel like? What information is there?

For me, when I am willing to look, and willing to get curious in the moment, the curiosity overrides the negative emotions and somehow solidifies the positive.  What is left is just a "being" and what I learn actually enables contentment - in whatever is, in that moment.

I am not complacent and I continue to strive for more, AND contentment in the moment, in what is, allows for a certain level of peace and ease.

The physical practice provides a space and a means to explore santosha. As you step onto the mat, what is it that you are feeling in your body – at any given moment? Can you acknowledge? Can you accept – rather than resist? What can you glean from it? What can you learn?

You might be surprised that if you acknowledge, accept and get curious about both your moments of sweetness and your moments of struggle, you may discover something new.

 And if the struggle as well as the sweetness can be OK, then perhaps you can find and experience true santosha.  

With love and light,

Rachel (to receive these in your inbox, subscribe below!)

Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, Translation and Commentary by Sri Swami Satchidananda (2012) Book 2, Sutra 42, Page 137

Exquisite Self Care

Last week we delved into self-care through the breath. We explored how our breath metaphorically and anatomically is our most direct access to the heart, and how we  easily and frequently withhold it from ourselves.

Perhaps I should not have been surprised, but as we moved on to exquisite self-care of the body this past week, I was met with some resistance and unease (again, a withholding).  I began each class with a mini, guided self massage, starting with the head and temples, moving down the base of the head into the neck, the shoulders, arms and fingers. Though fun and enjoyable for some, this was one week where I did not win over everyone.

What is it, I thought, that hinders or prevents engagement with our own exquisite self-care?  The reality is that we do not always have someone there. We don’t always have (or cannot always afford) someone there to help care for us, for whom our well-being is a priority.

So then what?

Do we go to sleep stressed and exhausted, to wake up only to begin the cycle again? ….And again?

I recently gifted myself a day-pass at a nearby spa. “All-day,” ultimately amounted to an hour and a half.  I could have arrived far earlier, spent hours there (hours reading and writing at the very least) but I had allotted only 1.5 hours. Though I clearly value self-care, I found myself resistant to really indulge myself on a rare day off.  

Exquisite self care isn’t merely about the decadent moments. It’s about the daily,  often frequent, strenuous moments. It’s acknowledging how we are sitting in the car – how much tension we are holding in our shoulders, down into the grip of our hands and fingers. It’s noticing how much pressure our lower back is holding at any given moment. Its admitting to ourselves that at a certain point we need a grocery cart instead of the hand-basket weighted down by the thirty items which were only supposed to be three.

On or off the mat, I KNOW I can do more… I can totally add more to the basket, haul it to the register, and then my car. I can absolutely do the hardest most difficult expression of the pose.

But is that self care? Is that exquisite self care?

Of course not. So what is?

For me, it is taking a moment to pause, look at what does not feel good and adjusting accordingly. It is caring for my body in the same way I would care for my mother’s, sister’s, a friend’s or a student’s.  It’s throwing my legs up the wall in between classes (if I am lucky, with Cooper!) to re-set my body and my mind.  On the mat, it’s meeting my body exactly where it is that day, not pushing, not forcing, but gifting it the quiet kindness it needs.

What does exquisite self-care look like for you? Have you explored? And when you do, see if you can’t feel your body’s gratitude.

It’s exquisite, isn’t it?

With love and light,

Rachel (To receive these weekly in your inbox, subscribe below!)

The Most Natural Way to Your Heart

“Breath is the most natural way to your heart.” 

An anatomical and metaphorical truth, breath truly is the most direct vehicle to the heart.  Our breath enters our body through our noses or mouths, travels down into our lungs and is then transported into our heart. And, while the breath is literally and metaphorically the most accessible tool to self-care and self-love, we easily, without thought, withhold it from ourselves.

When we get stressed, anxious, angry, upset, we hold tight, nearly closing our larynx and trachea, the pathway to the lungs.  We unconsciously restrain our access to calm.  Amit Ray said, “If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.”

Can you live in the breath? Can you take a moment to sit with your breath? Notice how it feels when you breathe into your heart – and into your belly.  Notice how your breath moves your body as you inhale, and again as you exhale.  Let your breath move you, notice what changes in your mind and body with a few conscious breaths.

It requires thought and intention to take a deep inhale, to feel the breath and allow it into the heart (and belly) to subdue our overactive minds and relax our often tense bodies. As stated Mind, Body, Spirit, it takes courage. So breathe.

With love and light,

Rachel                                                                                                                                            P.S.  Neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin along with other endorphins are produced in the belly.  When you breathe into the belly the production of those neurotransmitters increases, allowing us to calm down and feel more relaxed and at ease.  I’m a nerd for the amazing science behind what otherwise seems so mystical.

P.P.S. To receive these in your inbox weekly, subscribe below!  

Letting the Lions Loose

We come to the mat for a physical practice; to stretch, to improve flexibility, to maximize our strength.  While we reap these benefits, over time, we learn that the mat is actually a place to let go. Ideally, when we walk into the studio, we leave our stress and the tension that has built up in our minds and bodies outside, much like trash outside on collection day; during class, its taken away never to be seen again.

  Key word in that sentence: Ideally.

To let go – that act – can be the hardest thing you will do on the mat. So how do we learn? How do we allow ourselves to let go? How do we release ourselves from the conversations or arguments that run rampant in our minds? How do we not give our attention over to the to-do list or job that is taking possession of the present moment in our minds?

Since childhood, many of us were taught that emotions such as anger, frustration or anxiety were not worthy of attention; rather they were feelings that should be suppressed.  To be given the space to really experience those emotions, to explore in light of ultimately letting those emotions exit the body, were not condoned or appreciated methods. Rather those emotions were feared and as a result, we learned to squash those feelings.

 As adults, when those same emotions arise, we continue to do our best to suppress, to ignore  and to deny, expecting them to vanish on their own. But instead of dissolving, those emotions live vigorously in our bodies, eating away at our peace until we blow or until we break.

The first time I experienced Lion’s Breath, I thought everyone around me was crazy (I was living in New York City). Half scream, half exhale. What were these weird people doing? Don’t they have any control over their emotions? Ironically, and perhaps not surprisingly, the truth is, I didn’t have solid control over my emotions when it mattered. Whenever I felt frustrated, I cried. Whenever I felt angry, I cried. When I was sad, I let those same tears be the instrument to my emotions. It’s not to say that tears are not a wonderful or necessary release, but when you are at the mercy of your tears because you are at a breaking point, when you have no other tools or access to your feelings, that’s where the issue lies.

So this week, on the mat, the invitation is to give yourself permission to take control and acknowledge those emotions. Can you embrace the present moment and let a few lions loose?  Can you allow yourself that gift?   After having done so, can you check back in with your body – check back in with the tension and stress and notice what is different? Each time we start class with a few of these lion’s breaths – stressed bodies turned into smiling bodies. If you don’t know how to use the lion’s breath, I've created a fun video - click here!  

P.S. Check out the P.P.S. below :)

With love and light,

Rachel (to receive this blog in your inbox, weekly, subscribe below - below the P.P.S. :D)

P.P.S. In case you need some more convincing here are additional supposed benefits of Lion’s Breath:

1)   It cures bad breath. I Love this one. Although I havent tested it, it may be worth doing before a date….OR maybe before a first kiss?  Imagine: he / she leans in… Pause… Lion's Breath… NOW you are ready. They may think you are weird, but at least you (may) have fresh breath?

2)  It relives tension and tightness while brings circulation to the face. Poor circulation is one of the major factors in aging. Who knew that lion's breath is like a facelift?

3)  It stimulates the nerves in the eyes. Honestly, we could ALL see better (literally and metaphorically).

4)   It opens the third chakra, also called the throat chakra. From a more esoteric stance, opening the third chakra allows greater self-confidence and the ability to speak your truth. You may have confidence, but speaking one's truth lies a bit deeper.

5)   It eradicates disease. I have yet to find a study on disease prevention and lion’s breath, but ill take it. At the very least the benefits in reducing stress alone minimize the disease-building cells in the body.

Radical Acceptance - Genuine Freedom

“A moment of radical acceptance is a moment of genuine freedom”

— Tara Brach

What is it to radically accept? What does that mean to you and what would that look like? Where would you have to show yourself consistent compassion or benevolent affection? Can you envision a you, which offers benevolent affection to yourself?

Tara Brach states, “Clearly recognizing what is happening inside us, and regarding what we see with an open, kind and loving heart is…Radical acceptance. If we are holding back from any part of our experience, if our heart shuts out any part of who we are and what we feel, we are fueling the fears and feelings that sustain the trance of unworthiness. Radical Acceptance directly dismantles the foundations of this trance.”

The invitation this week is to look at where we can radically accept ourselves, and ultimately others, exactly where we - and they - are. For me, radical acceptance lies acknowledging and accepting where I am at - in any given moment. Often, I feel as though I should be doing more, accomplished more  – and that fuels the feelings of “not good enough,” or in Tara Brach’s terms “unworthiness.”  When I radically accept myself, I can see beyond the limited scope.  When I look at where I am, the truth is I directly impact lives, often multiple times a day. I am accomplishing what I set out to do. I continue to live differently, more wholly, more intentionally, than ever before. I am laying the groundwork for what lies ahead and that is beautiful. And when I radically accept myself - I have more compassion, more understanding, greater acceptance of others and their journey: it's that acceptance which frees me.

So once again, where can you radically accept yourself? Both on and off the mat? Can you practice from a place of compassion, grace and self-love? What war are you fighting? What war do you commit to ending? .... “A moment of radical acceptance is a moment of genuine freedom.”

With love and light,

Rachel (to receive these weekly in your inbox, subscribe below!)

Effortless Action

“The pose is what you are doing. Yoga is how you are being in the pose.”

— Rolf Gates

Every once in a while, (for some, more often than others) there are moments, days, maybe even weeks where everything flows – effortlessly.  It’s as if all the stars have aligned, as if all the traffic lights turn from red to green with perfect timing so there is no need to adjust your speed. You are in-sync with the universe, and it is as if everyone around collaborates to support you.

In Taoism, it’s called Wu Wei; it’s the principle of non-interference. Wu Wei acknowledges that to live life, action and interference is required.  However it states that when you take action, or interfere with nature, the action should “go with the grain” of life.  Alan Watts likens it to splitting wood: when you split wood can you go with the grain?  Can you sail, as you would with the wind? With Wu Wei there is no struggle – no fight against that of nature.  When one lives the principle of Wu Wei – more, rather is possible.

The forty-seventh yoga sutra[1] postures a very similar philosophy. Using the asana (pose) as a metaphor for life, it states, “asana is a steady, comfortable posture.” We execute or hold the asana and while that requires effort, the objective is to find a relaxed state of being within the pose. Can we be at ease, find a sense of effortlessness, within the action?

The question and invitation this week is to check in with how you are being, wherever you are – on or off the mat. Right now, how are you being? Are you agitated from something moments, hours or days ago? Are you holding tension as you sit, stand or laydown? How much effort is being required in this moment?

Can you close your eyes (likely after you read this paragraph for further details J )... Can you close your eyes and move, in your mind, to a place that feels effortless? A place where you are at ease? Perhaps it’s by a body of water, in an open field, in the mountains or a room you cherish. How do you feel in this space? Can you take in the details? What it looks like? What it smells like? Tastes like? Feels like? Can you breath this place into your body, into every cell and acknowledge how life works when all flows from this place?

As you open your eyes or come back to this present moment, notice how you feel. What would it be to step into the rest of your day or week with this in mind? On the mat, can you notice how you are being in the pose?…Where you struggle unnecessarily?   In the last week alone, I’ve already seen the impact. Those who truly integrate effortless action into their practice, those who distinguish their way of being from the pose, found so much more – more strength, more success, more ease, both inside and out.

With love and light,

Rachel (PS to receive these weekly in your inbox, subscribe below! :) )

[1] The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, Translation and Commentary by Sri Swami Satchidananda

A Gem...

From birth (really, from the womb), we are required to look outside of ourselves for sustenance. Without our parents or caretakers, we could not survive, and this becomes our way.  However, over time, we are so conditioned to looking outside that we have, or seem to have, an underlying credo: it's others who provide us with what we need - be it love, support, strength, guidance or peace of mind. How often do we depend on someone or something else to confirm how we feel or give us what we need?

For so long, I needed others to validate my worth, my value. Whether it was through my job and my desperately wanting my boss’s praise, or that of my boyfriend, I turned to them to feel strong, to feel valued or loved, to confirm that I made the right decision. On the mat, it would be an approving look or affirmation from my teacher. So rarely did I ever turn to myself in those moments; so rarely did I look within.

Time and again over the last decade, I heard that precise catechism, “look within… all you need is there,” and each time I wanted to revolt. Against whom or what, I had no idea – but at the very least, against the mere concept of "looking within." Somehow that catechism has seeped in and I now realize the sustenance provided by others is fleeting and that which I give myself is, by far, longer lasting and far more nourishing.

 I recently spoke with a yoga practitioner who so beautifully shared his gratitude for what the studio offered him – how it saved him, how it supported him in his time of need. The truth is, he gave that to himself. He saved himself each and every time he chose to show up. He was choosing to do something different than what his other proclivities or desires might suggest.

The invitation this week on the mat is to reflect on your needs.

Why is it that you showed up? What is it that you are wanting?

Strength? If strength, can you know that in each and every pose you can explore that strength of the mind and body?

Peace of mind? Each time the hamster wheels begin spinning, can you come back to your breath, back to the practice, back to whatever is directly in front of you? 

To feel your body? Can you really connect with your body – with each and every part… noticing what it needs or wants and feeding it accordingly?

Is it love? Can you give that to yourself, in this moment? If that is a foreign concept, can you start exploring it now... how is it that you receive love? Is it with a hug, a verbal affirmation, a gift? When received – how does that feel? Then – sit with the feeling of what is like to receive that love, giving it to yourself, allowing it to fill you up.

As Rumi said, “there is a life force within your soul, seek that life. There is a gem in the mountain of your body, seek that mine. O traveler, if you are in search of that, don’t look outside, look inside yourself and seek that.”

Look inside, seek that.

With love,

Rachel (to receive these weekly, subscribe below! :D )

New Beginnings

“Every second brings a fresh beginning, every hour holds a new promise, every night our dreams can bring hope and every day is what you choose to make it.”

— Unknown

Working in a studio, I get to interact with tens to over a hundred people each day.  Honestly, it’s quite incredible and wholly different than any of my past-life, business-centric interactions.  When practitioners walk into the studio, they walk in with whatever is on their minds or stuck in their bodies, and often, they are willing or even needing to share. Other times, you enter the room and though not a word is spoken the weight of the air says it all: it’s easy to surmise how a studio full of people feel when they walk in and immediately lay down on their mat, ready and aching for the final Savasana -- ready and aching for that time of peace, the opportunity to truly let go, and allow the body and mind to approach a semblance of stillness.

As 2016 wound down, more often than not (even in the midst of holidays), I felt I ought to be teaching a restorative class rather than the scheduled ‘power’ or ‘flow.’ The latent energy was so tangible, I found myself checking in more than once to make sure everyone ‘really’ wanted that power class.  There was a collective “itch” to hand 2016 over to the past and step into 2017.

Like clockwork, on December 31st, it was as though January 1st was already here. There was (and in some ways, still ‘is’) a renewed sense of life, so palpable you can literally taste it.  Students sit erect on their mats, often chatty and open to communicate with the others nearby.  Its actually harder to start class on time, because, who wants to interrupt that joy and connection?

The question begets, what is different? In some ways you might say it’s a new commitment to life. For some it’s a do-over, proverbial clean slate. But again, what’s different, what’s truly different beyond this shared sense of a new beginning? I’d venture to say, nothing.  We choose to make it something bigger because we need reason to let go and to grab onto something new. As the earth finishes its rotation and begins again around the sun, that’s the new beginning. But really where is the true starting point? Is there one?  And if there isn’t, can that starting point be whenever or wherever we choose?

Whether it’s today, tomorrow, six days from now or six months from now, know that this sense of a new beginning comes from within.  It’s truly something you create, possible at any point in this year to come. In fact, every moment, every second, can be a new beginning …let’s not wait for 2018!

With love and light,

Rachel (to receive these weekly in your inbox, sign up below! :) )

Pooh's Perspective

“What day is it?"
"It's today," squeaked Piglet.
"My favorite day," said Pooh.

Every time you ask my cousin how his day is – his response is, “Best day ever!”  On the rare occasion, you might hear…”Awful! Terrible! Horrible! But it was the best day, best trip, ever.”  He’s a stereotypical New Yorker on almost every level: quick thinker, faster talker, well-read, dynamic, semi ;) cultured and extremely sarcastic. But he’s also an enigma (and I can say this after having lived in ‘The City’ for eight years): he truly cherishes all that he has and manages to find the merit in the moment.  It’s said, “Stress occurs when we forget how beautiful the present moment is.”[1] And while I am not sure we can eliminate all stress in our lives, would it be possible to start with eliminating some? What would it be to live in the present moment?

So what’s the reality in THIS moment? What is actually happening right now? What can you hear in this moment? What can you see? (likely in this moment, it’s a screen :D) What can you feel and touch? Smell?  Five minutes ago no longer exists unless you bring it into the present moment. What’s truly here, now?

After sending last week’s blog to a friend, she replied with further insight: the reason year toddlers do not get hung up in the past, in their hundreds and thousands of falls and are always ready to take their next step, is because they are indeed living in the moment. That might explain why they are quick to cry – and then quick to forget. They feel the pain in that moment and rather than continuing to live in that space and latching onto that experience for the rest of the day, they remain engaged with whatever else is directly in front of them.

So this week, can we continue to learn from the two-year-old toddler within? Can you remain present? Can you find the beauty as my cousin does each and every day in every moment possible? Granted not every moment is beautiful, but what if you found just five, three or even one moment to enjoy each and every day? How might that enhance your day? Your life?

Victoria Erickson said, “to be present might be exactly what we’ve needed all along. To feel a place while we are fully in it. To be fully with people while sharing time. To know this moment and this moment only may actually be the closest thing to ecstatic living we’ll experience…So wherever you are, be there. In your body. One foot in front of the next.”

As you step into 2017, can you start with this moment? Notice what’s here. Notice the beauty. And like Pooh or my cousin, can you have more “best days,” or “favorite days”?

With love and gratitude,

Rachel (Sign up below to receive these weekly!)

[1] www.wisdom-ink.com and www.facebook.com/conciouslivingnetwork

A Toddler Try

As toddlers, the second we gather our strength to stand, we almost immediately fall (sometimes flat on our face), AND we get right back up. We try again, and again, and again until we master standing up, walking, and soon find ourselves running much to our delight.

Decades later, however, when we attempt a new practice, learn a new skill, or begin a new endeavor, so often we find ourselves giving up before we’ve even begun (especially if our lives or salaries are not on the line). We might even go through the motions, convincing ourselves we are truly making a concerted effort, but scarcely do we give that two-year-old toddler try.

It is said that “the reason most people give up so fast is that they look at how far the have to go, rather than how far they’ve already come.” We often neglect to ever honor ourselves for how far we’ve come: no matter the distance, it’s not far enough.

Last week I found myself staring straight at (or away from!) two skills I’ve wanted to hone: Patience and Compassion.  After what felt like tireless test of these two traits, I criticized myself for not having done more: I should have been kinder, more patient, more compassionate.  But how far had I actually come?

When we slip, we are so quick to condemn ourselves for those moments which “evidence” lack of growth.  The truth is, however, it’s in those moments, those moments where we feel we are not as strong, and not as patient that true growth occurs.

We learn just as much from our failures as we do from our successes, if not more.  In taking this to the mat, or to your desired skill, how far have you come? Using the mat as either your literal or symbolic analogy, have you made it to the mat? If so, that’s huge; in many ways, the biggest step. If it’s your seventh or tenth time, you’ve gained at the least a small insight into what a practice looks like, feels like. If it’s your twentieth or thirtieth time you are building your practice; a hundredth or thousandth, the practice looks wholly different. It may not be perfect, but can it ever be? What is perfection? Alfred Aiken said, “drop the idea of “success”—know that Perfection is Perfect Now.”

With that, what’s “perfect now”? And when you find yourself in moments that are not as strong, not as balanced or you are not as flexible (in your mind OR body), can you get excited and know that THAT’S when the growth occurs? If we get excited about the moments we stand or walk, just as we did decades ago, we might find ourselves running sooner than we think.

With love,

Rachel (if you want these weekly to your inbox, subscribe below!)

When You Change the Way You Look at Things..

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

We often want our lives to be better, to be fuller, in some capacity, but we resist change. Specifically, we resist the shifts that allow transformation. I read recently: in order to move forward, something is lost; something must die. It’s that conscious (and at times, unconscious) knowledge that blocks us from embracing the flow of life, allowing real transformation to occur… even when we recognize the changes are positive.  It’s the fear losing something which holds us back from moving forward.

Contrary to common conviction, we cannot stop change, but we can resist, and it’s that resistance which creates the blockades. Life, and our bodies, are in constant motion (until we stop breathing), continually changing and shifting.  Sri Swami Satchidananda’s explanation of Sutra 18, Book 2* offers one of my favorite, analogies:

“Changes are as constant as the flowing of water, if you just allow the water to flow, it is pleasant to sit and watch. But if you want to arrest the flow and keep the water for yourself, you will have to construct a dam…the water will resist the dam and try to escape. There will be a terrible struggle… All life is a passing show. If we want to hold if even for a minute, we feel tension...When we want to keep it, we put up barriers which ultimately cause us pain…If only we learn to enjoy each change, we can recognize the beauty even in aging…Things come and goes while we (get to) retain our peace.”

This week's inquiry and challenge is to not only to accept and be open to change, but through it, what can you discover? On the mat, what might be there if you change your approach?  Is it possible that while your practice (and life) currently works as is (and in many ways may be perfect)….there might be more? How else might your practice guide, teach, or support you? As you create change on the mat, how does that translate off the mat?

And in looking at the bigger picture, where do you want transformation in your life?  Where might you dare to hope for, and create, more? And what part of you, what perspective(s) are you willing to lose in order to take on something that truly supports the life you want to create?

The more we change the way we look at things, the more those things change, so often for the better. But until we let go, until we let life flow, nothing truly transforms.

With love,

Rachel (To receive these in your inbox weekly, subscribe below!)